I had told you guys awhile back that I was in the process of trying to get a book published called “There are no Magic Pills”. The major hurdle as most of you already know was where to get the monies to actually get it out there. I decided since money was a major object in my life to go with kind of a grass roots effort.
Take what you can use and leave the rest is my motto. Everything that I write is strictly advice. The best way to describe what it contains is more or less a guide from someone that has and still is on both sides of the fence. I not only deal with my own illness on a daily bases, but my wife is also bipolar.
I know what its like to feel helpless as a caregiver as a loved one experiences mania and depression. I feel I am a better person for going through it in order to see and feel what its like to be on the caregiver’s end of people that dealt with me through some tough times.
I would very much like your input into what you think of the book. It costs you nothing but your time and you would be doing me a great service by telling your friends if you feel the book has merit and would help them. I just want to thank you guys for all of your support and friendships while writing the book. You can find it here: www.mentalhealthus.com
I look forward to hearing your comments and you can email me directly from the site.
Hey Eric...I've spent some time perusing your book. Your personal journey somewhat "mirrors" my own journey with bipolar (my productive years were from 19-32). Of course, most bipolars can relate to much of in some fashion. It's a good read.
For me, your book was frank, honest, informative and refreshing, much like your shareposts. And I believe it will help more that just "one person" - I can already think of two.
So let me touch on a few things from your book:
You mention more than once that we need to "take personal responsibility" for our illness. I can't tell you how many times I remind myself of this. It's SO important.
One of the most important issues you discuss is "Acceptance". I once wrote a letter to a bipolar in prison and this is what I said: "Education is the first and most important step for bipolars, their families and loved ones. With education comes understanding. With understanding comes ACCEPTANCE. With acceptance, the process of recovery can begin."
Also, you talk about "working on our wellness when we are healthy", in the "gray area" (like that term) if you will. It definitely works for me, and doucmentation of my progress during well times makes a difference.
I like what you say about "Changing our Focus" and doing something to help someone else. When I am in the gray area, helping others is what I do best. It's very rewarding.
One area I disagree somewhat on is "Who to Tell and What?" about our illness. My children were told at an early age and were give good information about bipolar (the Abe Lincoln stuff and such). If I have a desire or need to share with friends/acquaintances, I often tell them that I have depression. It's just easier for people to understand - everyone gets depressed! And I'm telling the truth.
And I've saved my toughest one for last...You talk about not confusing grief with depression. Six years ago, I lost my son. It's the absolute toughest thing in my life that I've EVER had to deal with. My doctor told me to separate my grieving from my illness. I listened to his words but after a long period of grief (4 years) my bipolar and my grief went on a collision course. Somehow it was inevitable for me. Now I have come to acceptance, and I feel my son's presence in my life every day. So you are wise, don't confuse your grief with your depression.
Thank you for sharing with us, and may you realize your dream of getting this book published.
Judy
Hey Jude,
Thank you for even taking the time to read through the book and comment on it. When it comes to vocalizing that we have a mental illness to others, here is what I have seen first hand take place.
Everything you have said up to that point and anything forward is automatically discredited because you are mentally ill. Every emotion is now just chalked up to the illness…being angry, sad or overly happy somehow is an offspring of the illness. I would just be overly cautious of who you tell. Why do they need to know and what do you hope to gain from it.
As to loosing your son…I can’t even imagine what it must have felt like for you as a parent to loose a child. I think that even if I were to toss the illness aside, I would still tend to want to curl up somewhere and just fade away. You show that you have a great inner strength and a good faith. Yes he is here with us everyday…all we have to do is listen and remember.
Again….thank you for taking the time read and share your thoughts.
Eric...thank you for your kind words re: my son's death. There will always be a hole in my heart, but it's gotten a bit smaller in the past 6 years.
My family and close friends know about my bipolar - they are the few I've discussed it with. My husband shared it with them when I was first diagnosed. But the word gets around - my brother is rather vocal. As for the rest of the world, it's none of their business. I would never "come out" so to speak, there's too much misinformation and stigma. The normies' perceptions of bipolar is not likely to change any time soon.
Judy