I think i am going to ask for help

11/ 8/07 9:32am

Are you going to a doctor and getting medication? If not that would be the first step. Also it good to have someone who you trust to talk over what you're feeling. Get a journal and write everything you feel down, it helps to keep things in perspective and track your moods and triggers. I just want to say as I recently discovered you are not alone in all of this. Keep your chin up and things will get better

Molly S.

11/12/07 7:52am

yes i am currently seeing my doctor.

but my mom will not take me to se him. i can not drive or i would go by my self. i do write things down all the time. but not a lot anymore. i thas come to the point where i dont care about what happents to me anymore. there are things that would almost kill me and when they happen i dont show feelings. it has been like this for about 2 months now. i lost a close relative and i almost dont care?

Kai

11/ 8/07 9:37am

Molly, sweetie, what is it that you need help with?

Kai

Molly S.

11/12/07 7:56am

i just need help to keep my chin up!

that is something i can not do alone. there are people in my family who help me but not all the time. so i am trying to get somemore.

Kai Hollinger

11/13/07 7:27am

Hi Molly--

I see you are getting some wonderful responses from from really good people who are sharing their positive results with you. I am not a sufferer but a social worker/counselor who has worked with clients who are biopolar although that was not there initial interest in coming to me, they came to me for substance abuse. Often bipolar disorder can lead to substance abuse because people do not know what is happening to them. Once they receive treatment and learn about their illness, we can often help them overcome the addiction.

How brave of you, being only 14 to recognize when you need to seek help. That tells me that you have alot of strength and resolve and you will have what it takes to get your illness under control. As many have already said, find an adult you can trust. Never hide what you feel or be embarrassed to talk about it. And when you feel fearful, because that will happen, take some nice deep breaths and tell yourself, I will be ok. If you are currently taking meds that are not working for you, tell your doctor, he can change them until he finds what is right for you. Don't give away your power to anyone to make decisions for you regarding your illness if it is not helping you. Have the courage to find and keep a strong voice. Love yourself and never give up hope.

Peace & Love,

Kai

Walt

11/ 8/07 11:26am

Hi Molly,

I have been recently have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, and like the others, the only I can recommend is take your meds, and most certainly find either a good psychiatrist, or therapist or both. You need to find a good support group, and, you must start tracking your moods as well!

I have enclosed with this reply a web site where you can download a PDF, called mood tracker. It has become an important tool in my quest for balance in my life.

http://www.abilify.com/pdf/mood_tracker.pdf

Keep your chin up. It's a fight, but with the help from the people and places I described above, there is a light at the end of the psychedelic tunnel, we call Bipolar Disorder.

Molly S.

11/12/07 3:23pm

thanks.=]]

but the thing is. well i have been to so many psychiatrists adn they all say the same thing. "yep, she looks like a great kid. i dont see anything wrong with her. i think we are going to close the case." and i never see them again. so i dont know who to go to for help anymore. =[[

i dont know what to do

Walt

11/13/07 6:06pm

Molly,

Many psychiatrists (about 50%) do not cotton to the notion of BiPolar Disorder (BPD or MDI Manic Depressive Illness), you may have to search a little more and harder to find a psychiatrists who recognises the disorder and get in touch with that one. The other problem you may be encountering is you may appear too young for them to take you serious and that's why thet keep blowing you off. This is not your problem! It is the psyichaitrit's problem, the ones you previously saw. You may have seen them when you were mildly depressed and not ready to shift and explode. (one can explode when manic or depressed. there are no rules to our illness with the exception to diagnosis)

If you may be feeling suicidal don't bother with trying to find a psychiatrists, check yourself into the nearest hospital and let some one there evaluate you. Searching alone can be daunting enough but to be searching for a psyichiatrist while in the throws of suicidal depression is, how can I say this, insanity.

What city and state do you live in? If you let me know I will try to help you find one, but you have to you have to alow me to help you. If you leave the info I requested then I will assume you want the help and I will try to the best of my ability. If you don't give me the info I will assume that you do not want my help. I will continue to answer any questions you may have. So, don'y worry if you don't want my help. I will still be here.

Walt

PS: Read what the others in this forum, like SadMom, has to offer in the way of helpful advise!

Walt

11/13/07 6:35pm

Molly

Another thought just entered my pacing mind. Read! Read about others who suffer from BPD. Read about others who have, maybe not beaten it, but have a handle, or control, on it. You will be suprised to know how much you are not alone!

One good book is An Unquiet Mind, A Memoir of Moods and Madness, By Kay Redfield Jamison. She has BPD, and, guess what, she is a psychiatrist. She has been through a lot, if you read the book, you'll find out just how much! The way I look at it is, if she can go through the black tunnel, as well as many others, then so can I. Maybe if you read her story, or those of others, well, you may find the srtength to carry on.

Keep a stiff upper lip and when you're feeling, let people know what you're feeling. No matter what it is! Even if you stub you toe on the bed post, I just did that, let peopl know that you want to rip the post apart! That's why I like this site, you are among others who have felt, feel and will feel the same things you feel! TALK TO OTHERS ABOUT YOUR FEELING. The problem with all people, us who are BPD, as well as every one else, is, we and them don't talk about what we or they, are feeling, which for us is the worst thing we can do. Everything we feel gets AMPLIFIED when we don't talk!

Walt

Molly S.

11/15/07 8:20am

listen i would love the help but the only info i give out is that i live in michigan around the thumb.. i dont give anything more.

i am only 14 adn talking to older people makes me a my mom feel kinda weirded out. if you understand.

:]]

but yeah if you can find someone who lives on the lower part of the thumb that would be RELE cool!

or someone who makes house calls!

whrabal

11/15/07 8:52am

Molly,

I truly understand were you, and your mom are coming from. I was not, am not and never will invade your, or anyone else's privacy. I did not mean to step over bounderies or violate any protocals. Please accept my heat-felt apologies. You and your mom certainly have the right attitude for being on the web. It is not a safe place and I appreciate your's and your mom's candor.

I hope you find your answers. Most importantly, don't give up your search for those answers.

Hopeful mom

11/10/07 8:29pm

Find an adult you trust and just ask for help. Journaling your feelings and moods is a great idea. Therapy is also a good first step. If you are feeling suicidal, make sure you talk to someone about your feelings. Don't hide your fears hunny they'll only get worse.

Molly S.

11/12/07 9:28am

well that is the thing. i have my chin up all the time and i try to keep a GREAT head on my sholders but people just keep knocking me down further and further. i have been to so many therapists, and the only thing they say to me is, on you look like you are a GREAT girl and i dont think you need to come back here.

adn we go away and act like i have never been there.

but i am in clas right now. i have to go but i will finish what i have to say when i get on a computer. if not i will tell you when i get home.

Jenn

11/12/07 9:23am

You are still young enough to get this illness under control and avoid the many mistakes we have made being diagnosed later in life. Talking from experience, holding in your feelings only heightens them and makes them become more irrational. There are people on all sides here on this site that you can talk to. theres no judgement of each other because we are all living through it one way or another. Let it out! Suicide is not the answer. You just need some support and tell yourself I will not be defeated by this, I'm stronger than that. You are going to have some bad days but then again you'll have some really good days. Take care of yourself and don't be afraid to speak your mind, people care and they need to know what you're going through. Jenn

Molly S.

11/12/07 3:14pm

thank you for that.. i really need to hear that. it is amazing that all of these people have or are living with someone whom may have bipolar disorder can live such normal lives. and i now know that i can get help and i can fix this big problem i have. i just need that little push to get me to do so.

thank you!

I think i am going to ask for help

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