I've done some really dumb things.  I don't have the nerve to say them here.  

Well, I'll say one here - it's long - you can page down over this story.

(THE STORY) - you should share this with your husband.

I was on a business trip to England (first time).  It was an awful project, f'd up from the get-go, so I was kind of stressed.   I had been off my meds for a few months.  The first or second night we went out drinking and I got shit-faced. We had checked into the hotel at noon, stopped in the office by 2 & were drinking by 6 (until midnight).  And I got real shit-faced.  When we had checked into the hotel, we were near the water & I liked the salty-sea smell, so I opened the windows.  When I returned to the hotel that evening at midnight, it was like 40 degrees & the heater didn't work - so I got like no sleep.   I later figured out that the heater didn't work because I was using a cheap electricity-converter device which blew out the circuits or something.   

So it's Friday, I got like no sleep the whole week & we're taking the train to London.  Had to work mon&tues , then home.  In the middle of the train ride, I ditched my teammates & left the train.  I didn't know where the hell I was.  I was totally manic.  I had one of my teammates cellphones.  I was paranoid that someone could gps track me, so I was throwing the phone on the concrete trying to break it.  I gave up & just threw the phone onto the train tracks & exited the station.  On the way, I threw my garment bag somewhere arbitrarily.  

Now, my intention was to get back to the town where I had come from.  

I took a cab.  Made the cabbie all paranoid.  He thought I was a terrorist.  After 20 minutes, the cab driver said he had to pull into the store.  I got out and smoked.  Cabbie locked the cab, my backpack was in the cab. 

I walked away. 
Went to a gas station & tried to pay some young guy 200 to drive me to my destination.  He said to call a cab.  Which I did.

fast forward...people were trying to help, but I was paranoid & out of control.  I didn't want to be hospitalized in a foreign country where I didn't know how the system worked.

There's more, but you get the point.  You can share this with your husband.  

These were all "conscious" decisions.  But were they intelligent, well thought out decisions?

It proves the point that, yes, bipolar people can be out of control. 

If you're not bipolar, this sounds like a cop-out.  They can't really understand until they witness it for themselves.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Below is a post I did earlier tonight for a woman whose husband was recently diagnosed with bipolar:    My replies are the >>

When in mainia, you're not in control.  It's such a fine line between mild-mania & fullblown mania.  It's like one millimeter to the right & you end up in the hospital.  

Police are good.  Twice, they've given me a courtesy ride to the hospital.  

Also, on your cell phone, add an entry called ICE - In Case of Emergency. 

The police know to look for this.

You can add emergency phone numbers, the web link for your shrink & sometimes text.

I'm going to attach below a reply I just did for a woman who's husband was just diagnosed with bipolar, and she was very concerned about him. 

It has good information about people new to bipolar.

Good Luck, just starting out is a rough road.  I wish they had bipolar-connect like 8 years ago when I was first diagnosed. 

C

/////////////////////////

My boyfriend was diagnosed recently with bipolar disorder and ADHD. 

This diagnosis followed the sudden death of his father. 

>> wow, that happend to me, like 3 months after the funeral.  Age 35.  Very unusual to get a bipolar diagnosis at that age.  But I smoked a lot of pot in my early years.

He seemed unaffected by the diagnosis at first but in the last 2 months has changed into a person I hardly recognize. He has distanced himself from me and most everyone else. He is either working extra long hours at work or on days off he either stays in bed all day or finds a million things to around the house. 

>>Picture a scale of 1 to 10.....1 is severely depressed, suicidal, won't leave the house, won't return phone calls. 

10 is manic - paronoid, hearing voices, conspiracy theories, thinking people are out to get you, don't trust people, even your friendds. 

5 is stable. 

Bipolar people bounce around between 3 & 7. 

1&2 are bad - hospitalization may be necessary

9&10 are bad - hospitalization may be necessary

If you think he's a 4 or a 6, you may be able to stick it out until Monday when he can get in to see a doctor. 

Or another alternative, call the doctor now, have the doctor paged, and tell them to call in a prescription.  Wallgreens has 24 hour pharmacies.  go to wallgreens.com

If the doctor doesn't answer the page, it's time to find a new shrink.  I like practices where there's like 8 doctors & 10 nurse-practitioners....they're automated, efficient & are available 24hoursx7daysaweek

When I do talk to him he blames me for everything from him not getting a promotion at work to him not getting to sleep right etc. 

>>Trazadone is a good drug for sleep.  It's an anti-depressant, but is commnoly prescribed for sleep.  Clonopan is another one - but it's addictive & a lot stronger.

He also has been very verbally abusive and it is getting harder for me to deal with him. He is just downright hurtful. His general practitioner made the diagnosis and put him on Concerta, xanax and lexapro. 

>>I'm not a doctor, can't help you there.   There's lots of drugs & combinations of drugs.  Everyone is different.  It takes time to find the right mix of drugs for a person. 

It is obvious to me that these medications are not working as he never acted this way before. He is also not seeing a therapist and if I suggest it he flies off the handle at me again saying that "i guess I am just that crazy and maybe I should jump off a bridge so I won't bother anyone." I get alarmed when he says this and watch him closely after that because I don't know what else to do.

>>you're too good to him.  DONT STOP TAKING THE MEDS.  Get some help. 

Should I call his doctor and explain my concerns to him? I had talked to his doctor once before when the doctor tried him on Wellbutrin and he was having alot of bad side effects. I really want to help him get through this because I can see in his eyes that he knows something is not right and he is miserable. I want to help him get back to being himself and stable again. What is my next step?

>>you're too good to him.  You tried to get help for him, that's a good start. 

Go to his doctors appointments if at all possible

Teach him how to be efficient in his doctor appointments.

Psychiatrist - Appointments last like 5 minutes.  This is the drug doctor.  In 5 minutes you tell him what's up since last visit.  I keep a daily journal (am I sleeping good, did I eat 3 squares a day, did I NOT drink).  Drinking is borderline ok if you're a 5, you can have like 1 drink (if it works with the meds, checkout drugstore.com).