phony excuses

By Drust7 Tuesday, August 19, 2008

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After many months of dealing with a girlfriend labeled bipolar (manic that is) I have come to the conclussion that this bipolar stuff is just a cop-out for being self centered and careless on her behalf. When things are not going her way Bipolar sets in.......when she gets her way Bipolar disappears. All you people that get told you are bipolar and get put on drugs that have only a few years in the market place are guinnea pigs (sorry) and the medical proffesion is making a killing off you (all). Does anyone really think that a normal life in this world is not full of ups and downs??? My life is very messed up and I have many mood swings but I don't need to take meds to realize life can really suck sometimes. What is the cure to all of this? It is people caring about other people (more) than they care about themselves..too much selfcenteredness going on these days Materialistic hogs that want it all for themselves.

Comments (8) | Add comment

Rosebud

8/19/08 2:19pm

You may be right. Some people with bipolar will hide behind their disorder as a way to manipulate others and control situations to get what they want -- Some that is, but not all. You made some very strong, tho angry, accusations in your posting. Obviously, you have discovered that dating a person with a disorder is demanding. Rising rise up to meet the challenge requires a commitment to education yourself. With education comes understanding and with understanding comes acceptance. If you direct your anger towards bipolar disorder on a whole and not towards your girlfriend's specific tendencies (manipulation, dishonesty, etc) you aren't being realistic and practical, right? And, you'll never work through conflict to move forward. At the same time, your girlfriend has to firmly understand that she is responsibile for her own actions and behaviors and blaming it on a disorder is irresponsible and child like. If you both have issues, you need to help yourself first before you can help her. Only you know what YOU need - keeping in mind it might not be what you want. Good luck.

pxm3965

8/30/08 6:54pm

Rosebud, I agree with your view on not taking responsibility for ones actions, however from what I understand is people with bipolar DO NOT have anything wrong with them. My fiancee says he does not have any problems it is everyone eles fault. Nothing is ever his fault!!!!! I don't know whos responsible if not him for not filing taxes for the last 10 years and not paying for his business expenses so all the utilities get disconnected and insurance premiums get cancelled. If you were to ask him it is all everyones fault including his last 3 wives!!!!

If they won't even take meds let alone admit there is a problem it does make the significant other in the relationship resentful and frustrated!!! It is such a waste for my fiancee because he is extremely intellegent, resourceful and bright but he continues to loose everything, everyone and every business he ever touches because he refuses to accept responsibility and accountability for everything that has ever happened in his life. We have a very profitable business, lovely home and children that want nothing to do with him. He is going to loose it all again and does not care because its not his fault!!!

tabby

8/19/08 6:36pm

Ah, you've only dealt with so called girlfriend labeled Bipolar for - how long is it? You've already gotten pissed with her behavior, huh?

So, what was it that you saw in her in the first place that attracted you to her that got you called the "other half"? Should I even guess?

She's a handful, according to your post, and you aren't willing to deal with the hand she is putting out. Why are you even posting here? To spread more venom, more spitefulness, more negativity?

All because you got one that just won't do and instead uses her illness to her full and unadulterated advantage and guess what my friend - you allow her to.

Shame on you, shame shame shame.

Oh, and you are oh so correct in that life has it's ups and downs otherwise it wouldn't be life - it would be death afterall. Perhaps, you have an issue with yours moreso than she does by the reading of this posting.

Have you spoken with a therapist lately about your anger issues and self-centeredness issues?

HeyJude

8/19/08 7:59pm

It seems to me you should get yourself educated on bipolar disorder before jumping to so many foregone conclusions.

Your girlfriend's behavior is about much more than being bipolar - she needs to grow up. If you care deeply about her, you need to be supportive. If not, end the realtionship.

Bipolars come in all varieties, they are just as you are, full of flaws and fleas and such. Much of our behavior is human nature, and not simply because we are bipolar.

Each one of us is unique, including yourself, and deserves to be understood and forgiven our faults. Most bipolars are sincere, caring and compassionate individuals, and deserve respect.

Medications are necessary for many bipolars to lead a reasonably normal life. We make our choices accordingly. It is narrow minded tod think meds are simply a crutch and that all of us should be able to get on with our lives without them. But I understand your point of view, you have not walked in our shoes.

I sincerely hope you and your girlfriend can work together and solve some of your problems. Bipolar relationships are never easy, all relationships take hard work.

Judy

hobie

8/20/08 11:15am

comment you posted about drug companies making a killing, that is quite evident. I didn't vote for bush. on your anger mngt issue, so her Docs, friends & family are wrong? I wish it were that way for me, but you are a week idiot who don't know himself, trapped with a girl for no know reason. post somewhere else moron, ps. you most likely cause her mania bro. L

erica

8/17/09 2:12am

but thats not why there are so many people diagnosed with bipolar therefore enabling drug companies to make so much money. The drug companies aren't the ones that make the diagnosis'(that require medication so they can make money) being the reason why they do make so much money. Because if they were the ones doing the diagnosis' to make as much money as they do,then we wouldnt have psychiatrists because the drug companies themselves would be handing out diagnosis' right and left so they can make so much money, in other words why have psychiatrists when drug companies can make the diagnosis' and how ever many they please so they make THAT much money. Therefore its the psychiatrists that are the reason why drug companies are growing richer, but not because they get a good profit out of it for perscribing medications because they don't. It's because they truly feel a person is sick and needs those medications, so in saying that, your girlfriend really IS bipolar and not because the psych. diagnosed her to make money.

pxm3965

8/30/08 6:41pm

I agree with you!!! I don't know anymore if my boyfriend is in control or if he really has hypomania which he was diagnosed with a few years back. No one is immune to his outbursts, however it seems he can control himself in large gatherings like family reunions or around "his" customers ect. But when it comes to me and the kids he has no problem freaking out like a psychotic lunatic!!!!! I'm sick of it! I cannot count on him for anything unless I totally control it, or try that is. He does not spend much money but he does not pay any bills at all a matter of fact he does not even open his mail. When he moved in with me he literally had boxes, banker boxes of unopen mail his mother said. I never know day to day if he is the good guy or the bad guy that day, I'm so tired of talking about it that I think I am going crazy myself around him.

Stay strong brother and keep your head up:)

erica

8/17/09 2:24am

BOTH of you need to realize and come to acceptance that your spouse/significant other have a disorder and stop blaming them for your impatience and inability to manage things efficiently on your own because you believe they are just self centered, belligerent, spoiled, and mean people. You could also just be in denial and just dont want to accept that your loved one suffers from a disorder. In either case you are either being ignorant and stupid about your own issues by blaming those issues on them or being naive and an idiot for being in denial. You need to open up to acceptance of their disorder because life isnt always going to be a walk in the park, peachy keen, have a white picked fence, and/or be perfect.

SO either take my advice, do something else about it, or GTFO and stop complaining!

phony excuses

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