Hi,

This is my first post. I will be brief. I am looking for advice from you on where to start.

I am in Chile now 6 weeks with my wife and her three kids. I brought her to the USA last year on a fiancee visa and then married her. But it was a nightmare with her arguing with me and threatening to go home. She thought I had cut off the telephone so I could not call her mother in Chile so she called 911 instead. The police came and she told them I had sex with her without her opinion. A few weeks before that my 10 year old son had come to stay with us. He ended up hitting his 11 year old stepsister. She hit him back and my wife pulled them apart. I told my son to call his mother and have her come pick him up. I did that and ended up not seeing my son for 9 months as she hired an attorney and sued me. I lost the law suit and ended up signing an agreement with her saying my son, now 11, cannot be with his step sister or step mother. I thought that issue was moot since I was planning to divorce my wife and never see her again.

But things change and now I am getting ready to leave Chile and start her visa application again. It takes 9 long months. When my wife was in the USA I found a Spanish speaking pscychiatrist who subscribed for her seroquel and some other medicines whose name I forget.

Today I am in La Serena Chile haven taken two days away from my wife in Santiago. I told her I would not go home until she agrees to see a psychiatrist. She finally agreed but I feel we will not make much progress until she agrees that she needs some help. Here are her symptoms.

This week I bought a book for my stepdaughter for a test she needed to take. But the day of the test my wife overslept having drank have a bottle of wine and saying her alarm did not go off. I tried to get the kids to go school and then my wife came into their room. She hit the wall with her head. Later that day I came in to read the newspaper and she said turn off the light. I said I needed it to read. Then she through the lamp on the ground.

I am not sure what to do. I could do the easy thing and leave Chile and abandon her again. But we are married and would like to see if I can make this work. At time we are happy. My wife's behavior is so bad that I cannot take her out to a restaurant or let her meet my family as I am afraid how she will act. Her mother and brother are afraid of her and her children generally agree with her when she drags them into the conversation/situation using them as a ploy. This week I told her I would call the police and tell them she was not caring for the kids by sending them to school. She sleeps all day long, smokes cigarettes and stays up all night on occassion and I cannot let her drink alcohol because it makes her maudlin. This is a problem because I have a vineyard, am part owner of a winery, and have written three books on wine.

My immediate plan is to go with her Friday to the doctor and get her a prescription of something to stabilize her mood. But then I have to return to the USA to start a new job and it will take u to 9 months to get her a new visa. I believe she will just abandon the drugs and fall back into a deep depression. Did I mention she speaks no English? My Spanish is almost fluent now which is good as for years I have struggled to get to the point where I can understand all that she says. She curses mightily but one thing I have learned is that not all of what she says is different from what other Chilean people say. In other words I have grown somewhat accustomed to much of what she says because other people talk that way. I thought it was rage. It might just be mannerisms.