Aloha everyone, I loss a great person on Monday. She was my husband's mom and my best friend. She does not have to suffer anymore. Her love of her life for over 40 years was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put her through some really tough times. She was a devoted christian and put her faith in Jesus. I ,on the other hand, am not a church going person. I have bitter and angry feelings toward my husband's father. I can't even look at him because I feel that if he TOOK HIS MEDICATION she would still be here. I have no other outlet to let my feelings be heard. She was such a forgiving person so I wonder how come I cannot have the same courage and strength to forgive too? He continues to go about his manic self and he would rather be homeless and have nothing rather than take his medicine.
I am very sorry for your loss. I really am.
You loved your mother in law greatly and it shows in your post. Your mother in law, in some shape or form foreign to you in some conceptual way, loved your father in law.
Unless he truly murdered her, he did not kill her by not taking medication. Did he make life, at times, seem unbearable? Perhaps.. to you, to others, and maybe even to her. But, how she responded and coped with those times are as much her responsibility as his actions triggering the supposed moments.
Harsh to hear perhaps but true.
You are angry at the actions, and you are hurt at the loss, and you are looking for someone to blame and thus you blame him but in that... you remain bitter and angry. Thus, you are responsible for your feelings and whatever they are doing to you.
The way you described her, in this post, if a devout christian as you say... then forgiveness - though not forgetfulness - would have been her charity towards him. If so, and true, then whatever possible hurt and bitterness that may have come towards her.. she rejected and thus did not struggle so with it.
You don't have to welcome him, love him, or even need him... but for your own sake, may be best for you to come to terms with the anger you feel towards him and understand why.
Thank you for your comment. We here are taking her death really rough. She left many grandchildren that loved her very much. I feel that although he did not murder her, his mania symptoms year after year just took a toll on her health. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to vent.