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Denial
Eric
Wednesday, November 14, 2007 at 05:28 AMre: Denial
Rusty
Wednesday, November 14, 2007 at 05:54 PMHi Eric,
THanks for your reply. Yes, I have been worried that he isn't on medication and that the illness might get worse if he wasn't. I'm glad you feel that I have to be honest and set limits and he must accept responsibility for his illness. I read an article yesterday which said the opposite and that was really confusing. He is not talking to me at the moment because I set a limit on one of his behaviours which I was finding really distressing. I guess that is part of his denial. Up to the point of diagnosis everything that went wrong in his life was my fault. I think he needs to take responsibility too. Thanks, sometimes it just helps to talk. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me.
replyre: re: Denial
Eric
Thursday, November 15, 2007 at 05:13 AMRusty, Rusty, Rusty....
You are not and never have been responsible for his illness and actions and don't ever think you should be.
I think there must have been a blip or I didn't explain myself well enough that the bottom two paragraphs were directed at people with the illness and not you or someone living in a relationship with someone with the illness.
I felt you were in denial in that with his track record thus far and trying to fix him...it shows he is unable to sustain a relationship so why should yours be any different. Why should you have you put-up and endure this crap. You are too good a person to have too.
I felt you should take an honest look at the relationship and in doing so look at getting out while you can. You said you guys live apart anyway…there is a Mr. perfect out there looking for you and you won’t see it if your continually trying to change this guy. Anyways…it’s advice and that’s all it is, do as you wish.
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You’re not going to be able to change or fix him especially if he is in denial. I would think that the three broken marriages would send a message that he can’t and isn’t mature enough to handle a relationship. So I am guessing you’re in a bit of denial for putting your life on hold for him while he is out doing all of these things. Friendships are fine, but boyfriend/girlfriend relationship does not work.
As we get older the manic and depressive states tend to become more severe in intensity and duration if gone untreated. This goes back to it’s up to the person with the illness to take responsibility of getting things nipped in the butt before things get to far out of hand. If you truly are bipolar there are warning signs, flags and markers letting you know something is going array.
If I were the people around you, I would hold you totally responsible and not allow you to use the illness as an excuse for ditty unless… you were open and honest something was going amiss with the people around you, your psychiatrist and followed a med adjustment plan.
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