I spend a lot of time trying to understand my partner's BP and help him in whatever way I can. He has been well for about 8 months now with treatment. Anyway, this week I have been sick....suspected kidney stone ( pain and discomfort)and generally feeling not okay. I have kept working, kept my single parent household going, fed everyone and kept ahead of the washing( and its been pouring rain)...etc.
So what does my BP partner do when I am sick? He goes back to his house, he plays golf, surfs. ( My cynical self says that he thinks "Well she's sick...there will be no sex so I might as well not go over to her house...no point) You know I really don't think its too much to ask for him to be here to look after me sometimes. I really wonder whether he is capable of ever looking after me if I need it or whether his needs and the needs of his illness will always be more important. I am almost 50 years old. There will be times in the future where I would like to be able to depend on him. I don't know if that's ever going to happen. Any slight stess and he is "Gone". Is he capable of giving to me when I need it or will it always be about him! You know there are times when he is so loving, kind and generous but when I really need him....he's not here for me.
