He's sick again.

by Rusty
Saturday, March 15, 2008

Rusty Caregiver Hi, I have a partner who has been recently diagnosed with... Send Message Subscribe

Rusty

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Well the bubble has finally burst!. He had been well for more than 9 months, the longest time in our 4 year relationshipI guess I saw the signs a few weeks ago...... Spending an incredible amount of time at golf, surfing, cards, not coming over,completely ignoring our relationship, being very self...

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Hopeful mom
Friday, March 14, 2008 at 09:06 PM
You made a wise choice in not living with him. I think you're handling it all very well. If you have the strength, just hold on and know that it will pass. Ultimately, you know what you're in for and this is the way it's going to go. He needs to be responsible for himself and for making amends for his behavior. It's exhausting,to say the least, just dealing with the extreme mood swings. Nobody would think badly of you if you decide to get off this roller coaster. If you continue riding it, we're here for you. You did exactly the right thing in leaving and it's up to you if you want to talk to him right now or not. The good thing about it is they do feel bad for their behavior after it's passed. He might not admit it or say it out loud but he does appreciate you for being the one he can count on and he'll most likely be particularly loving and attentive once it passes.
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re: Thanks HM
Rusty
Friday, March 14, 2008 at 10:05 PM

Thanks for being part of my safety valve HM. Putting up a post and wandering around doing my housework in my dressing gown, crying...seems to help too. I just need to let it all out sometimes.
I'm not going to see him, at least not for a few days. I wonder if he'll remember the horrible things he said and have an awareness that what happened was caused by the illness and not me. I think he is having a mixed espisode preceding depression which comes on in Winter. We are supposed to be going to Bali in May but I really don't want to be over there if this happens because I have nowhere to go to get away and I certainly don't want to be in a third world country feeling like I do today.
Anyway it confirms to me that we can never marry, live together or pool our finances. I have to protect myself and I can only ever rely on myself. He is not strong enough to support me emotionally. It's disappointing but that's the reality. This relationship will only survive with a degree of separation and my independence. He often talks about buying a house together. I would love that dream but the warning bells go off in my head...! Thanks for being here for me. R

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