My husband is textbook bipolar symptoms: depression, suicidal thoughts, spending thousands of dollars on toys and electronics when we don't have money to pay the mortgage, then out of the blue he comes home from work and tells me he wants a divorce because he doesn't love me anymore. I then found out that he looked up an old girlfriend and began an affair with her. His family has a history of bipolar. We have a 10-month-old son. We just started our family and now he is destroying it. He's wanted a family since I met him 13 years ago. I don't recognize this man. I miss my husband. I can't figure out how to reach him. Everything I do is wrong and this old girlfriend is the perfect woman. I'm having a very, very difficult time trying to hold down my new full time job, take care of our son, figure out how to get divorced, move and sell the house. I need help and my husband who used to be my partner is now my enemy. Is there any way to fix this? This divorce is going to kill me.
Q: I think my husband is bipolar and he wants a divorce. How do I get him help to stop this?
Hi Kristin, I just read your story and our lives seem to run parallel. My husband is manic and bi polar, will not go to a Dr. to get diagnosed. It also runs in his family. He can't see it. I can, his family can, everyone can. He is recovering drug addict, this can't be helping the situation either. I am looking for the man I have loved my It h life and the man I married. He is gone. It hurts. It hurts very very badly. I never know what I will deal with day to day, hour to hour. He is verbally abusive and tells me he doesn't love me, that he wants a divorce, that it is all my fault. He regresses back to a time in his life where he was very successful, and says things to our daughter like get your hair cut and feathered. His cycles are getting shorter and shorter, he is a very aggressive, angry person. He is verbally abusive to the girls but loves my little boy. He has called my girls (13 and 8) sluts, brats, spoiled etc. then goes on to tell people that things are all their fault. He says that I show all the signs of an alcholic relapsing .... I DON"T EVEN DRINK ... EVER!!!! basically everything that he does to others he believes that they are doing to him. It is bizarre, weird, scary. I don't know what else to do or how to handle it. I think at this point my only choice is to move forward with my life and ask him to leave, the mood swings and thought process are completely irrational. All he does when isn't yelling at someone is sleep, he goes for days (as many as 9) without a shower.
As I read your post, tears came to my eyes as I started to remember the trauma I felt. As I read about your children tears came to my eyes as I now know and understand the deep hurt, trauma and pain I allowed them to be subjected to!!! I can start by saying off that it is not men. I left my husband and I am now with a simply wonderful man who is everything I imagined I would never have and never deserved!!! YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND HEALTHY. Think past today, tomorrow or even next year .. what memories do you want your children to have of their childhood? What are you teaching them about relationships? That it's okay to put up with abuse??? it's NOT!!! Everything that is going wrong has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with him accepting responsibility for his own behaviour and abuse!!! Take the appropriate steps you need to be healthy, and happy and protect your children, he won't and he can't. But you deserve happiness always.
God Bless
OMG I am going through exactly the same thing. I went to the lawyer Feb 10, listed my house, sold my house, bought a townhouse all in 4 weeks. We are still living together till May 14 when our house closes... he has a place to go but I'm sure he is still there to annoy me and get me pissed off. I am losing my mind... We have 2 girls ages 13 and 10 and its so hard on them... he is always angry and is a truck driver as well and owns his own truck and self employed. he like his toys and always puts me down.. I feel worthless sometimes. I don't like the word hate but I can honestly say that I HATE him...
Wow your husband is a clone of mine. My husband ruins our Christmas every year. One year we were arguing because he hates giving gifts (but wants thousand spent on him) So he punched me in the face. He has almost broken my arm, run me over with the truck and drug me to where I could not walk for 2 weeks and I became so depressed I tried to commit suicide. the last 3 years have been horrible. we have moved around from state to state while he gets a job and then 2 weeks later is fired. It is because his doctors keep changing his medications and it destablizes him. The new psychiatrist is nice but she took him off all of his meds in 2 weeks and retarted and now he is manic and is hard to be around. My parents want me to leave but I can't with no money. I had to borrow money from the because we are in the process of buying a house and he once again lost a 100,000 /year job. He is in the construction management field. I just can't take much more. I find myself hating him. My oldest son said he hates him and will never bring his children around him because of the damage my husband did to him. Listen just because someone has a mood disorder that does not give a license to abuse, spend, hurt other people. He has to be accountable for that. And yes I too used to keep quiet but now when he snaps or yells I yell back at him and tell him he keeps it up and I will contact his doctor and have the cops take him to the hospital as I spoke with his doctor and she told me that is an option. He pipes down and cools it after that.
Wow he just piped down. It just goes to show that these are true bullies. It's amazing how they only fight with women and children. My husband is now showing bipolar behavior after 15 years of marriage. He hates my father because my father disliked him because he was much darker than me. He has never let this go. He hates my father so much that now he hates me. Over the years I tried getting them to like each other as a family. My Dad was stubborn, he thought my husband had no ambition. My husband has never forgiven him. His nature is not to forgive but to make you suffer for it. I have lots of built up anger and have recently begun to dislike my husband very much. He can be abusive with me and the children when he drinks. He is an angry drunk. He refuses to accept that he is. I lost my job and have not been able to find work for over a year now. I was always the major breadwinner. I even helped him pay child support to his first son for ten years. I never once threw it in his face. Now that I am collecting unemployment and he has a job he tells me that I am no good because I cant even get a job. I lost my job through sabotage at work and have not been able to find closure. I can say I am depressed and feel overwhelmed with what is happening. My two boys are now teenagers and are starting to want to stay out more and more and it also makes me nervous. I know I cant hold them in the house but I know they rather be outside than with us at home. I just don't know where to start. I know I have to think about my well being and my children but I feel so stuck in this without a job. Its a living nightmare. I too yell and snap at him and I tell him that good people don't do what he does. His behavior changed no sooner then child support was done with. Ironically he received his emancipation papers and they were date stamped with my birth date on them. I tell him that is so he can remember who helped him. I am detaching from him so that I can remain sane in all this. I need a job so I can get out of the house and start feeling human again. Then I can start making decisions because he now hates me and hates my family. I will never leave my family for him. No woman should have to.
Wow i am going through the same thing. My husband and i have been married for almost 3 yrs and been together for 5 yrs. All of a sudden he comes home and says he wants a divorce and that he doesnt love me anymore.We have two small girls and im pregnant with our third child. He has a girlfriend who he says is his soulmate and he sees her as his wife.He is bipolar but doesnt want to admitt it but says that he will get back on his meds because i wont allow him to kep the kids overnight unless he gets back on them,but he hasnt mentioned it again. it runs in his family as well and i dont know what to do but to keep praying for him. I live with my parents and he has his own place. He is still always so angry and upset and is still blaming me for his unhappiness.all i can say is keep praying and keep ur head up. _Callie
You have to go to the courthouse and file now. this girlfriend will convince him to file before you do and you don't want you husband taking care of them alone. It does not matter if he is on meds or not. People with bipolar are not great with making good judgements and cannot care for children alone. I know that will anger him but the judge and psycholigist in court will see it your way and will order supervised visitations. You husband will most likely abandon your children. This is just what people with bipolar do. My husbands mother has bipolar and was never there. My cousins father was bipolar not related and he took off. Most people with bipolar eventually abandon their families. My husband did it several times but came back and I took him back at the expense of my happiness and my childrens happiness. I regret that. I had another child who he ignores most of the time as well. He acts up when my husband withdrawals from him and I have to deal with it. It is hard form me. I get no help from him at all. He is alway angry at me. when I talk psychology, politics (which I have been doing a lot lately) or anything, he gets angry with me and makes me feel like I am bad for talking. It is horrible and sad. I was crying today because I asked God why I am being punished and why can't he help me to leave this horrible situaiton. I have a small business that is slow and I can't support myself yet but am looking forward to the day I make enough in my business and I am out of his life for good. I will pray for you and please focus on your little blessing that is coming into the world. I hope you have family close. my family is 2000 miles away and I have no friends.
I feel I'm in the same boat. I have always said I think my husband is bipolar as he has a million different personalities. One minute he is verbally abusive and then when I am on the floor crying in fetal position he is my superhero telling me I'm the best thing that ever happened to him. WHAT!!!!?!????!! He told me a month ago that he wants a divorce, I make him miserable. He acts like he never loved me at all. He have been together for 6 years and married for 30 months, no kids together but we have two kids each from previous marriages. I dont get it at all. I am sick to my stomach trying to get my daughters and i out of this house. He is being decent to me but then tells me he is going to be so good to his next wife. I really feel he has someone else. Thats the only thing I can think of as to why he is all the sudden dead for me in his heart.
kristin my ex was bipolar , one of the symptoms of a bipolar person is they have a person they dote on mine was his sister, when she moved in with him she pushed me out of the way she convinced him that i wasnt good for him, even tho she wanted to do everything i did. whats interesting the whole family his dad his daughter his sister all left their relationships at the same time, he took off to kentucky after we split. our last brawl was about him cheating i caught him twice, now he has a woman who has taken him in and hes fixing up her house i hear now that he is taking up long haul trucking which is a way of getting away from her, his buddy scott watches and i assume is taking notes on who im seeing and what im doing i think its stupid. but since hes been gone my nerves have settled down considerably. one of his things is he thinks everyone is watching him because everything revolves around him, in his mind he is so great and popular. but in the same response he thinks everyone is out to get him. i was sick for about 6 months after he left but believe me it gets easier. im going thru a phase where im very happy by myself keep your chin up cut the ties there is a light at the end of the tunnel good luck
Hi Kristen,
My name is Stacy. As I am reading your post; I got chills up and down my arms and began to cry. I am going through exactly the same thing! My husband is bipolar, won't admit it or get treatment any longer, wants a divorce. We have three children together and married 10 years. His family also has a history of bipolar, depression and anoxeria. I am dying inside. He has become a complete stranger. I am still looking for the man I married. Every January he begins until August, then depression. He has cheated on me, and lies constantly. He has become obsessed with internet and is angry all the time. I am trying to save us, but he is deteriorating and reverting back to past girlfriends, who tell him there's nothing wrong with him, and I am trying to control him. This is consuming my life. I can only hope an pray you are able to talk him into going to a Psychiatrist. I believe the best time to do it is when they are really depressed. NEVER do it when they are in a manic phase. He will get angry and think you are against him. TRUST ME, I've been through this for over 2 years now. He previously was on meds but stopped them abruptly. His ex-girlfriends told him he doesn't need them. He doesn't rationalize or realize he is losing his family. Our oldest son barely wants to see him, our daughter is very angry with him because he is very mean to her. I have to take him to the Psychiatrist today, I am going to tell the truth, He is going to explode and probably walk out on me again. I don't know myself how to handle this. But, remember it's not you! Don't take anything he says personally. He is not thinking on a normal level.
Stacy. Good Luck Kristen.
I have been married to a man for 20 years who acts the same way. I am really getting quite tired of it as I have put up with him up and walking out, spending 15,000 dollars in 1 once (he made a lot of money so it was not too devastation). he destroyed my ability to finish graduate school because he spent all of my loan money. He has been physically abusive and almost ran me over with his truck 2 times. He has up and walked out on me several times. he fixates on tasks and totally ignores our 3 year old. In the last 3 years since the doctor has been playinga round with his meds he has lost 5 jobs because he can't concentrated. he fixates on the lawn for days. He fixates on buying things all of the time. He stole money from my parents. I suggest you rethink you relationship with this man. This is just the beginning of his bad behavior. I would tell him if he won't get help he must leave and not come back. I would make this disorder an issue in court because most people with bipolar 1 disorder can become psychotic and delusional if their disorder is not treated and the will become a danger to young children. My oldest was abused by my husband. He is a great kid and my husband acts like he hates him most of the time. He acts like he hates me when he is manic. I feel alone, sad, have no one to help with the children and want out badly but have no money because he destroys our finances all of the time. I had to close a business because of him and his behavior. I had to quit school because of his behavior and it has left me totally dependent. I run a small business and can't get it off the ground because of no money. I am using the extra money to support us because he is out of a job again. I am tired of it all. So please rethink this maybe him leaving is not so bad. by the way if he leaves to be with another woman he will reject his child and walk out on him for good so prepare to find someone who can adopt you son so their is little pain from his mentally ill father. And explain to your child his father is mentally ill and it is not the child's fault. by the way. My husband is out in lightening doing yard work digging up the lawn. Why I don't know but he has ignored us all day. It is a lonely life living with this.
Omg, I am right there with you going thru the exact same thing. I feel for you. The pain is just unbearable. I just dont know what to do.
Exactly the same for me. My wife has all the symptoms of being bipolar. But she even refuses to look at the list of symptoms. It is all my fault because she has already figured out the absolute truth.
About 4 months ago she moved out of the house. I felt great relieve in not having to worry every step of my life that I might do something that gets her to be verbally abusive towards me. Everything seemed great. With hardly any interaction between us I seemed to have escaped from being the target for sudden anger rages. But we are having 2 small children. Although we agreed on equal time with the kids, an other moment happened that put her anger attention towards me. And now she is again in possession of the ultimate truth.
An e-mail I got from her:
I will work with you to do what is in their best interest, but I strongly believe that I will better choose what is in their best interest for them. So I would like to be the custodian so that I am given the right to make them. We both know that I have a good eye for what children need at any given time ....
During her manic phases she is so sure about herself, that she becomes incapable of seeing anything outside her own view. She is already in a legal battle with her mother and siblings, now she wants to go to court with me for the kids. She is financially and emotionally ruining all of us. But there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. There is no way to get to her. She does not acknowledge the most obvious things.
How can you stop someone with bipolar to ruin everyone's live? She is not "bad" enough to physically hurt someone or herself. Is there anything that could protect us from her complete lack of reality?
I completely understand where youre coming from Kristen. My husband has been going through a manic episode for 5-6 months now. I never knew what it was at first and then time went on and things were starting to come out from him and his family about his history of bipolar. It has been 14 years since his last one.
My in-laws and I just had my husband committed last week. I never imagined this to happen to our wonderful marriage. We were so happy 5-6 months ago and this other evil person took him over. The mental abuse is unbearable. Everyone is telling me that he is sick and not to listen what he saying but he know just how to tear my heart up. he has told me over and over to get the papers for divorce because he is ready.
I understand and sympathize with you. It hurts so much to hear them beat you down and make you fell like a piece of garbage.
Meanwhile their out spending all of the money, taking out 401k money, buying dirt bikes, visiting ex girlfriends in another state, drinking, not coming home, having fun, loosing their job, and living life like they are all that matters. I'm working two jobs trying to replace the money he spent that we never had and try to pay the mortgage.
I'm not sure if I am able to hang in there much longer myself. Luckily, we have no kids. I take things one day at a time. One day I want a divorce and the next I want my husband back and will fight to get him healthy. I have been praying for the strength to get myself and him through this. We were so happy before and I wish every day for that to return.
Hang in there, youre not alone.
I am not sure if my husband is bipolar. We have been married 4 months and dated 2 years previously. He has a histroy of bipolar in his family. I have an 8 year old daughter and he has a 9 year old son. The man had left 2 times before we were married once for 1 night and the 2nd time for 2 1/2 weeks. He blames everything on me, that it is all my fault. Granted I do make mistakes and am not perfect, this is not all of my fault. He admits he is mean and went to the doctor 6 months ago and got on an anxiety medication. It worked for about 4 motnhs and his cruelness came back and he also started to drink 4-5 beers a night with this medication. He calls out kids pigs to their faces, he belittles their every move, he hates his mom and treats her terrbile, he has nothing good to say about anyone but me. That is the thing, for the most part he is wonderful to me, but no one else. But yes, he just left after 4 months of marriage. The night before he left he told me and his friends how in love with me he is and he is so happy. The next day he is calling them asking them for a place to live. He says that I am to lienient on my daughters father becuase there is no parenting schedule. He has offered to adopt my daughter at the request of my exhusband. He then told my daughter her dad was a loser and did not want her. Isn't this emotional abuse? He will chase my dog around the house yelling at her thinking it is funny. Most importantly, he has a history with all of his ex's of leaving and coming back. Is this bipolar???? Thank you for any input. He has been gone 3 weeks today and I know what the right thing in my head to do is, but I also can't stop locing him.
Also. I forgot to mention that the night after he told me and friends he loved me so much the next day he moved out telling me he hates me and wants a divorce. We met for the 1st time this week, he won't answer phone calls, nothing. When we met it had been 2 1/2 weeks of no contact. He said he still hates me and wants a divorce. He said if I had the money I would file, but really doesn't want one. Then after an hour of this he says leave me alone for a while I need to think. He says he doesn't know if he can open his heart to me, I have hurt him to bad. He makes me feel like this is all my fault and I am nobody. He told me to leave him alone so he could think and he will get a hold of me. He is telling his friends he is divorcing me but he is telling his family we are seperated only. He is telling the 2 sides different reasons for him leaving me. Honestly, I worship the ground this man walks on. I adore him, have never abused him in anyway.
I am going through the same thing and it is somewhat comforting to know others experience because it helps justify it's not about me. My husband has told me so many times how much he loves me and then the next day he's gone. He has never told me he hates me, but has said some other mean things. Things that don't make sense. We've been separated for two years and still he comes and goes. I remember being in the car one time and I was talking about how happy I was with us and he went into a rage. I never know what I might say that would cause these episodes. He leaves and treats me like he hates me - no contact at all. Then as suddenly as it started, it stops. I'm really scared this time he won't be back. There's a new "friend" in the picture and I asked her to back off. She refused and caused a bunch of drama. Now they are hanging out all the time. She's only here for a few months and I can't wait for her to leave! Then I might have a chance to save my marriage. I believe if we can work together on the treatment plan, we can be successful. I am also going to seek my own professional counseling - someone who specializes in BP. I hope this helps you too.
This is really familiar my husband and I have been together for 17 years and he was diagnosed with bipolar 4 years ago. He buys me the most beautiful gifts and tells me how much he loves me and that he couldn't imagine his life without me, however five days ago he had a relapse while still on his meds I might add. A hour before he lost it told me not to worry about anything and he would always be there to look after me and I and he would never let me down!
What triggered the whole ordeal was I walked up over the stairs and didn't smile at him first thing in the morning(His reaction was I am sick and tired of trying to make you happy).
That was a Saturday and he sat and watched TV all day and told me to leave him alone and the next step was divorce and he never wanted to see my ****ing face again or listen to my voice. Today is Wednesday and still no reply from a husband who calls me every single day and tells me how good it is to hear my voice!! Said some really mean things told me I was a nutbar and should be committed and my whole family were mental.
His last episode of this magnitude was October 2005 and that's when he decided to go seek help I am wondering if he need his meds adjusted because he hasn't seen his therapist in about a year and he his approaching some major crossroads in his life. The major one is retirement. He is an extremely intelligent man and for the most part very logical it saddened me to think he is 60 and I am 51 and it has come to this!! We do not have any financial issues and we are I believe really in love. I do not want to end my marriage I really do love my husband with all my heart. He is my soul mate but I am at the end of my rope.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
Well my husband is bipolar and very very boring. Life with him has gotten worst. I am the one who wants the divorce. I cant change someone who dont want to be changed. He has never cheated but he dose not give me a reason to stay. We have no emotional attachment any more. He has never had much of a sex drive, in fact I have to come to him if I want a kiss, or a hug. He is very much singled minded. In fact we go days with out seeing each others. AND I AM TRULY TRIED OF CRYING ALL THE TIME. I feel like I cant do anything right.
I have been trying to figure out what is causing my husband to be bipolar/psychotic for the past 3 years, every since he began taking centrally-acting blood pressure meds that are known to break through the blood-brain barrier, such as Alpha and Beta-blockers, Centrally-acting ACE inhibitors such as prinivil, hydralazine (vascodilator), and calcium channel blockers. Has any of you noticed your husbands becoming bipolar or psychotic after taking centrally-acting Hypertension Medications? We were happily married for over 30 years, and now He says he doesn't love me any more and wants a divorce. The week before he started telling me he no longer loved me, we had come back from a romantic one week cruise and several days later, he sent me flowers with a note that stated, "I love you so much and I just don't tell you enough how much I really love you" I miss my husband so much. I do not know who this "other man" is!
I have been trying to figure out what is causing my husband to be bipolar/psychotic for the past 3 years, every since he began taking centrally-acting blood pressure meds that are known to break through the blood-brain barrier, such as Alpha and Beta-blockers, Centrally-acting ACE inhibitors such as prinivil, hydralazine (vascodilator), and calcium channel blockers. Has any of you noticed your husbands becoming bipolar or psychotic after taking centrally-acting Hypertension Medications? We were happily married for over 30 years, and now He says he doesn't love me any more and wants a divorce. The week before he started telling me he no longer loved me, we had come back from a romantic one week cruise and several days later, he sent me flowers with a note that stated, "I love you so much and I just don't tell you enough how much I really love you" I miss my husband so much. I do not know who this "other man" is!
OMG, I think I finally came across the right forum. It sounds like cookie cutter incidents. 2 yrs ago my husband and I had our fights as he'd always been a little verbally/mentally abusive. But over the past two years he's really taken a down turn. He would start arguements over very very small things. He decided to get randomly obsessed during his unemployment with buying antique toys, GiJoes. He was still budget conscious but it was an obsession. Perhaps bordem I thought. He had been perscribed an antidepressant, he quit taking it, then he wrote sucide letter. In recent months he's damaged our property, he has become physically abusive with me, then wasn't even apologetic. Then tried hard to be good. Over the past 2 years he's threated to be separated or divorced from me a dozen times. With a recent episode of abuse I filed an order for protection. I love him so much I sobbed the whole time, but I don't know what else to do. I can't live like that anymore. I've tried to continue communication with him but every other time we visit he does something stupid or really mean. I almost shake when I see it's him who's calling again. I told him I didn't want to see him the other day and he came to the house, called me 25x and rang my doorbell 50x. He insisted on being able to see me. He asked for a divorce. He suggested he should move away because it would be a long time for him to get better and so he wouldn't hurt me. I'm scared to be divorced but am beginning to think it's best for the kids and I. My heart hurts with compassion that I would leave someone I love when they are down and hurting, during their deepest struggle in life but I don't know that I will survive if I don't. The emotional toll is too great.
Well this is hopeless, again. Im so sorry to hear about your heartach. Since I wrote in regards to my husband's personality change, My 56 year old husband divorced me, moved to germany, and is engaged to be married to a 30 year old German lady. While on his meds, his personality and appearance has changed dramatically! And now I learned from my children that their dad and his young fiance have been visiting adoption centers and are planning to adopt children! OMG! My ex-husband hated raising our children. I do not know who this guy is but his brain chemistry has definatly altered. And it sounds like the same is happening to your husband. I know how hurt you feel and how great a burden this is on you, but you can't live like this. If you do decide to go ahead with divorce, remember that there was a time in your life without him, and you were happy then, and you can be happy again. Now that I am divorced, although I miss the husband I once loved deeply, I am at peace and I am healing.
Sorry to tell you this,but from what it seems like, your husband refuses to deal with reallity and has reverted to a place in time were there was no stress. I sort of know what your dealing with. Although i'm glad that my husband and i have no children together and i use the term glad very loosely,its probably for the best because right now I am the sole provider and Im constantly stressed out. Meanwhile he is always on the internet just fine. When it comes time for me to talk about my stressful day as a cab driver he just pretends to listen then continues talking about cars or whatever stupid thing he saw on the web. It sounds horrible but we are so tired of each other that I hope he cheats on me so then i'll have a good reason to tell my parents why I left him, because he is dreadfully boring and we fight about the stupidest things constantly and he wont even try to find a job! The reason i bring up my parents is that it sucks but everyone was apposed to our marriage from the moment i told them about it and i dont want to prove them right.
To Las, the woman with the husband that left after 4 months...
Most of the people dealing with bipolar spouses seem to have been together for a long time. We fall into another category - I think it is because we are still in the "he will change" stage. I keep hoping, even though I have accepted that a divorce is going to happen, that he will return, get help, and we can rebuild the good times. Mine left after 6 months. The whole relationship was up then down... I hated it, but the man was so deep and easy to love...
Mine was best man at a friend's wedding three days before leaving. His speech compared us to them, and he mentioned his mistakes in almost losing me due to communication, etc... and went on about how special our love was. Three nights later, when his female coworker called again after 10 at night, my jealous reaction prompted him to leave. The next day he signed a lease on an apt, told me that he had not cared about me for a few months, and left. That was early July. It is now almost September. He has not filed yet. I have asked him to extend it once or twice, and he has as well. Financial reasons. I finally accepted his "no contact" rules, and moved on. Even dated. This week, he started telling me he wants to be friends, he mentioned a situation with his friend's wife to which he said, "if you had done that, I would have filed divorce immediately", and has hinted at sexual desires that he previously outright refused. He originally told me he wanted to date, was over me, and had not loved me. Now, I needed to grow up, I hurt him terribly with - well, he never quite tells me how, and he has been unnecessarily jealous while explaining he has not been dating, as if I was dying to hear that. All this week.
Biploar spouses, especially new ones, seem to change their minds quickly. I think, personally, that when they find someone willing to accept their crap without running or pushing back, they find reasons to leave. Maybe on some level they realize the mate deserves better. Either way, I would take him back tomorrow. And hate it. I am so glad that he is in the military. They became involved after a few bruises of mine were reported back in April to June. They will not allow us to move back in, without heavy consequences for him. They could not stop it, but they are "allowing" his abuse case to stay out of the way of his career as long as he divorces me. I hated that at first, when I missed him so much. Now, I am eternally grateful.
I don't blame you for still wanting him. If I am any indication, the addiction to your husband may be permanent. I suggest doing what I did. What my friends and family did for me. Make it as hard as you can to reconcile in your moments of sanity. Sure you will regret it when you are crying and lonely... but those times are getting far in between, and it has only been a couple months. Be strong... we are both better off waiting on another, saner, man:(
I am in the same place myself. For 3 years dating and l0 married, we had a wonderful marriage. In fact, right up to a week before he left he continued a little game we played called the "five minute rule." It meant that if we were apart for 5 minutes (in the house), he could claim a kiss.
In late February he became severaly depressed over debts he had not told me about and the impending loss of his business. He asked if he could leave for a few days..he never came back. He did, however, continue to visit me, e-mail and call. For the first few weeks, he was downtrodden and said he loathed himself. Later he began to say he loved me again and he took anti-depressants. After that bamm..a high..he began seeing an internet person and flying to far off places..spending money he didn't have. He even blogged about it..all the while telling me he was almost ready to come home and lying about any affairs. I found out through the blog. How absolutely painful. In fact, so much of his blog told of he had begun drinking and smoking again. He sounded l5 instead of 45. He has put on about 30 pounds, began smoking, drinking, is now on anti-depressants, began having panic attacks all after he left. He signed away all right to our home to protect me from his debts insisting he was coming home. Then, I found out. His mother asked him to remove the site because people we knew were seeing it and he refused. He had left an extremly sweet love message on my phone just a day before. He had also been at my house for the weekend and kissed and hugged like crazy. But that is the point -- they are crazy. Now his mother has admitted he's done this before -- several times. Manic depression runs in their family. It seems the manic episoide was brought on with the anti-depressants..now he is sort of depressed and manic at the same time.
I wonder where did this man go that loved me and that I loved so very much for l3 years. It's so sad..and I feel so betrayed.
I am experiencing something similar but not sure if my husband is manic or not. He stunned me 6 weeks ago by saying he wants a divorce. We were watching a football game, sharing a beer when I asked him if he would like to have sex. He then pulls out a letter that his buddies helped him write and says "actually, I have been depressed and I want a divorce." We have been married for 11 years and just had our first child 10 months ago, who is a beautiful,happy baby girl. I have been blind sided and devasted. 5 months ago, he was diagnosed with ADHD and started a med. In retrospect, I can see some changes in him. I think the med has caused him to focus on all the negative things in his life, in turn causing him to be angry, aggressive and depressed. He is focusing all of this on our marriage saying things like "you ruined my life, our marriage is a sham, I want to move on with someone else." Ofcourse there have been issues in our marriage, who doesn't have issues. But in my opinion, you take the bad with the good. My husband has not gone on any crazy spending sprees but he has had suicidal thoughts, which he blames on me because in the course of all of this, I have called him pathetic and dispicable. I am not proud of that, however, those words came out in retaliation when he tells me "you're just gonna have to go into debt, sell the house and get an apartment, sorry but I want a new life." how could he want that for his daugther. And by the way, he also wants our daugther half of the time, which is so painful. She is my baby! He moved out. One morning he comes to pick up our daugther and tells me "i can't be around you because when I am, I either want to destroy stuff or I get depressed and have dark thoughts." Then the same night, he calls and wanted to move back in because he doesn't see our daugther enough. I am so confused and scared that he will really go through with this. The psychiatrist that diagnosed him with ADHD recently told him that he his manic and prescribed depakote. My husband does not believe him and won't take the med. I am a health care professional and know that depakote is a fairly heavy drug, not prescribed lightly. Despite all this, sometimes when I talk to him, he is so calm and callous that a small part of me almost thinks "maybe he is right. maybe we aren't right for each other." Then he leaves and I just scream "no....he is not in his right mind!!" Just a few weeks before he stunned me with this, he was telling my mom how he wants to have 1 or 2 more kids, we planned a nice dinner out, he took me through a small town near where we live now where he thought we could move to raise our daugther. I want my husband, my family. What do I do?
I think that all of you need to move out and into a family's home, if possible, to get space and peace and clarity. I have an alcoholic, bi polar husband who has torn my life to shreds. I fortunately have a daughter because she is my strength and my meaning and she fills the holes and gaps that my life and he have created in me. It wasn't him I needed in my life, it was her. I have been with my parents for a little over a year. Before this, he drank and blamed me, of course. He drinks like noone I have ever seen, except maybe me when I met him. Yes, that was our common ground and now he is living with another girl who shares that common ground with him since I have found new ground to build my life on. I have a career and a beautiful 3 year old daughter and both are too important to me to continue living that way. I have seen him in a manic phase. He thinks he is going to make a million dollars inventing something....the ideas he has are too rediculous to mention. I used to think it was a creative outlet and when he wasn't drinking they got even worse. Of course I was so glad that he wasn't drinking, the carziness was a welcome relief. How crazy is that?? Anyway, he eventually went back to drinkning. "I have taken him" to marriage counselors, AA, pysyciatrists, the ER and he has tried a couple of different meds all the while he kept drinking. I had to move out last year or forclose on my house. It was the best thing I ever did for myself, BUT MORE IMPOTANTLY FOR MY DAUGHTER!! Those of you who have children please do it for them. I still do not want to get divorced, but he has taken it to a nonreturnable point. I think he just kept going and going until I was forced to make the move. He claims to be the greatest thing since scliced bread but he is really just a sick coward who will never change and who does not really want to be well....stop drinking and make changes in his life like seeing a psychiatrist and taking meds and actually following through with their advice. It is all a front to appear normal. Nothing ever changes. Now he is doing the same thing with someone new. He preyed on her the same way he did me. Help someone through a tough time....someone who really thinks they need you and that you can look like a super person to....she will get hers, I am sure. Or maybe they will drink and screw and live in the bars their entire lives....more power to them. That is not the life that I want. Being in my parents house has helped me to see with clarity the reality of my life and of his. It has given me strength to move forward and go ahead and get (and pay for) a divorce....he has given me all of about $600 in the last 6 -8 months....He'll have a ton of money soon, though...that is always a joke. My advice is to stop trying and move on....they will only get better if they want to and in the mean time they keep ruining your life and creating more debt that you will have to pay for because they are total screw-ups. This whole thing about them being sick is for the birds. Great, let them be sick. They are comfortable there. If they want to change, they should do it on their on and for themselves otherwise it will all fall to pieces anyway and you will be blamed, right?? I am so sick and tired of being blamed when I am the one with the job, the retirement, the insurance, the second job, the family who supports me, the sole care taker of our duaghter, the one who has been and still does pay for everything (including 2 straight years of his child support to another kid), robbing Peter to pay Paul and stressed out all the time because of his insessent lieing and drinking and cheating. Man-up women and be the man (or mother/babysitter) they are making you be anyway and get out!!
I'm right there with you as I too am the responsible one. He ran away to fantasyland. He claims I'm the one with problems because I stress over him spending our mortgage on video games or other toys and hobbies. I keep that stuff at the top of my mind so I don't drown in sadness over losing my "traditional family". I was offered the best job of my career and may never get an opportunity like this again. This job will allow me to afford to take care of myself and my son. My STBX's lawyer has been arguing for the past two years that he can't afford our son or any of our debt. So I'm hoping that the judge will see that my son and I need this job. I KNOW that sooner or later the mistress (who has been financially supporting my husband for the past 18 months) will leave him and he can't afford to live on his own. He won't have a home. I won't either if I'm not allowed to relocate with my son. I can't wait until I'm divorced and he can't affect me financially any longer.
as a follow-up note...
- My STBX had a baby with his mistress and used that baby to get child support for our son reduced
- He's called me incredibly horrible names.
- he laughed at me in court when the stress of the debts and finances broke me down and I cried.
- He took our sick son from me on Christmas last year and laughed at me as he got in the car and drove off
- He brings his mistress to every divorce court hearing - even 9 months pregnant he brings her and continued to deny she was pregnant
- He's mean, hateful, destroyed everything I worked for and made all my nightmares come true.
We're way past over. We will never be together ever again even as friends or even aquaintences. He betrayed me which to me is THE WORST thing you can do to me. I was offered a huge job/promotion on the other side of the U.S. I am sitting here alone on Thanksgiving working on my case to get a judge to approve my moving with my son. He started this. He wanted this. But I'm going to take back as much control over my life as I can.
After reading many of these posts, I realize I am also in the same boat. My husband and I have been together for 17 years, married for 10. We have two children in elementary school who adore their dad. My husband is seeing a psychologist and has seemed to go downhill since. Two weeks ago he told me he wanted a divorce out of the blue. I of course when into a deep depression, I have lost approximatly 10 pounds and can't seem to eat. He on the other hand told me he is no longer waking up with a stomach ache. He says he still loves me and always will, but is no longer IN love with me. He says it hurts him to see me cry. But at the same time blames me for all of our problems. His counselor says I emotionally and mentally abuse him. He says I have been controlling him our entire relationship. I suggested going to a marrage counselor to talk things out and he adimently said no! His mind is made up. He is planning on moving out next month. I don't see him changing his mind because his counselor also told him to not "back-down" to me anymore. If he changes his mind and stays - that would be backing down. We also do not have ANY money to pay for a divorce. I don't know how he thinks we can. When I asked him if he thought he would be happier living with his parents (his only option) he said he didn't know. Just that he couldn't live with us anymore. I have tried to get him to take anti-depressants or something to make him feel better. He refuses because of his profession. That is the real shitty part about this - he can't get REAL help without possibly losing his job!
I keep hoping and praying something happens and he doesn't leave. We also were happy at one time.
So my question is...Is there ANY hope that he will snap out of this?
Hello, My husband has been in the military going on 3 years now. Im going to get to the point. When he gets really angry he blacks out or has no memory of what he had done to whom ever had made him upset at the time. I have never seen this happen, but was told a few words by the men who have had to restrain him. He is on his 2nd deployment and had blacked out once before they were set to leave. He has had 2 episodes since he has been overseas.
3 months before his deployment date He changed dramatically, I had noticed these changes because some days he was a stranger, and others he just wanted to be left alone. I have tried to tell him about the changes I have noticed and every time I did he would say ''work is stressing me out", which I understood.
Some days he seemed really distant and took no interest in anything, then he would be completely happy which is the mad I married. I would really want to know what could be the cause of these black outs, I know he is not the only one who has experienced this. I really want to know what I can do to help him. At this moment I cannot do much but I would certainly appreciate the advice. Thank you.
I am in the military and after reading this I hope he was able to see some professional help regarding PTSD. Most of the men/women in this section or response seem to be Bipolar but I wonder with the symptoms and onset if your husband's behavior if it is PTSD or TBI. I know this is a late response but since I am reading this now I had to respond. Thank you and God Bless
It is so scary how similar all of these stories are. I too have the same concern about my husband. I too have a young baby. Does the change have something to do with the new babies? Are the guys suddenly stressing over the responsibility or the life change with the new babies? Its too bad that none of us actually have an answer. I wish there was a definite and solid answer as to how to handle this situation. Like some other said, my husband also think I am the one that has issues. I told him, I may and I am willing to see someone if he saw someone as well. I know I am not the one who is unstable but if he thinks I am and wants me to see somebody, I have not problem doing it if it will get him to a doctor. I don't know ladies and gent. I just know its hard. Nobody wants to lose their marriage to foolishness. All I am gonna do is pray about the situation. I wish all of you the best of luck with your situations.
I am in utter shock as I am reading this. I too am going through the same things all of you are, except with no children. I dated my husband for 3 and a half years before we got married, and now we have been married almost 3 years in August. I always noticed something different about my husband when were dating, the way he would treat his family and others, some days he was perfect, going above and beyond, other days he was leaving his dads house moving out telling him and everyone to go to hell. Yet I put all that aside and married him anyways. We determined when his father was younger he had bipolar tendencies, but he claims he never needed medicine, his father worked all the time to stay away from the home. We discovered my husband was bipolar a few months after we were married, he always would get a horrible temper, fits of rage, spend all the money, and if he was down, he'd sleep all the time and wouldn't do anything, not even take care of himself. For some reason I kept staying with him because he would always come back crawling, apologizing for his actions, saying how he deeply loved me.
Now he decided that after his knee injury, and starting two new jobs, that he no longer needs me or loves me. Hes found all these new friends he's going to live with, and its been cycling like this for weeks. I am part time floater teacher at a childrens clinic, trying to find a full time job to support myself just in case the worst happens and he actually leaves me, but I'm sure I sound pretty stupid in hoping he comes back and tells me all of this is a dream. I have no way to support myself in my current salary so I'm busting my tail to find extra income, and fill out as many job applications as I can. I"m not sure who to lean on because my friends and family see the fake persona my husband puts on everytime he sees them, they think hes amazing and wonderful, I try to complain about him, and all I hear is oh hes just going through a rough time/stressed out...I'm just not sure what to do anymore...day to day gets more stressful and I am scared of my future mostly because I am so dependent on him.
GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN.. HAVING CHILDREN IT WILL ONLY HURT THEM. LIVING WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS BIPOLAR IS A LIFE OF MISERY. TRUST ME AND LISTEN TO ALL OF THESE PEOPLE.
My husband is also bi-polar. He refuses to get medical help. His late mom told me that he had these tendencies earlier in life. I wish that she would have told me and I would still be single. Everyday he goes in and out of manic and depression. He can't see his problems and has lost every job that he has ever had. Holidays are the worst. He has ruined them all. He has no friends, and doesn't want me to have any either. Both of our children hate to be around him.
I've experienced physical abuse, , but he afraid of the police so he stopped that.
Women out there, you must get your local police involved. These guys are cowards and prey on women and children. He asked for a divorce, and I said great,so now he will not discuss it. His father had two wives so crazy that they died to get out of the abuse, so this is either familial or environmental.
There is no solution to this problem. If you leave they will kill you. If you stay you will be worried to death. Prayer has helped and also meditation.
Stay calm dear fellow sufferer, don't include your husband in any of your plans. Keep the faith.
Rose
Over and over again, I keep reading my story through your words. I have been with my husband only a year and a half and before he was diagnosed Bipolar, OCD and Anxiety, I just thought he had a bad temper at times!! Then, it all really started to fall apart. He went through a melt-down early last summer right before we were supposed to get married. He ended up "quickly" moving myself and my two children into another house (while his enabling family gathered around him and helped 'clean up the mess'). Then, once he realized that I was gone, he started making changes. He slowly came back and was the beautiful man I fell in love with in the beginning. We ended up getting married and having our honeymoon in the Virgin Islands. Came home..and bam!!! I get a call from him while I was at work one morning that "something was wrong with him" and that he was pulled over on the interstate and he couldn't breathe, he had tunnel vision and his extremities were tingling. I was an hour and a half away from him and I felt helpless. I thought my husband was having a heart-attack. When I arrived at the hospital, the nurses had already given him something for anxiety. That's what it was...a horrible panic attack! Moving forward, his doctor diagnosed him with Bipolar disease, OCD, etc., etc. He was given Lexapro and mood stabilizers. Well, that only lasted a short time because the mood stabilizers were interfering with his drinking. So, as we continue to go up and down the rollercoaster, his anger and rage became worse and worse everyday. It bordered on physical but not so much...more verbal.
Then, one morning a week before this Christmas we woke up around 4:30 a.m. and he went to make coffee. When he returned I asked him if he used 4 scoops in the coffee and he freaked and started screaming at me "Why the F*** can't you just say "Thank you!" and he picked me up out of our bed and through me onto the floor very hard. After moving forward that morning and getting ready for work, I came out of our room into the kitchen, sat down to put my boots on and told him he was an abuser. I guess I did that wrong too because then he started screaming and through an entire glass of water in my face. Okay...that is unacceptable and I called the police. When they got there they talked with me for a little while and then went inside and arrested him. I didn't press charges, they did. Now, his family all turned their backs on me and certain ones keep telling him to get a divorce! What the hell is wrong with people. If I knew my son hurt his wife, I would make sure he knew that was unacceptable in any way whatsoever! I would never ta-ta him and pat him on the back. DENIAL is a horrible place to see a family in. And what am I to do? Leave? Okay, with what? When we got married most of my stuff was sold or given away. We got married!
I am going to see a counselor today at 3:00 and he refuses to come, although the appointment has been made for over a week.
I just thank God everyday for my health and my children.
Hello Kristen,
I am in the same boat you are in. I feel your pain and as i am reading this online at work i want to cry. My husband is the same way and denies that there is anything wrong with him and willnot go get help. He has a family history of bi-polar and his family warned me that he could possibly be. My husband has also started to say he wants a divorce and doesnt love me anymore and i am to the point where i am ready to give him up.
All i can say is just pray for YOUR strength.
Read Proverbs 3 and allow God to minister to your Spirit. In a situation similar, but I've found out that all I need is a Word from the Lord.
OMG, I feel your pain, deeply.....my husbands family 8 brothers & sisters are ALL bi-polar, My husband is the Love of my life, it took us ALMOST getting a divorce just to get him seek a Dr.
's help, Well he did like 3 years ago, all the questionaire page all his answers were 100% BI-POLAR, so the Dr started him on Cymbalta, slowly the man i married started coming back in,,,mind you I am wife # 5 didnt know it was 5 till we were already married, I knew 2, WHICH WAS ENOUGH, to make you squimish anyways, but I was already deeply in love with him, & not to be consedid.., but I am 12 1/2 years younger, & not UGLY @ all, i love to have my make up on, i'm a Texas girl, i can be a tough girl but i am also very girly, fashionable,....Well, 1 year ago our insurance stoped paying for ALL anti-depressants, so he said we cant afford them, BUT, if you get your Dr to call the insurance & say its medically nessasary 100% chance they will pay & if not, companies offer to patients that cant afford it, free or a huge discount, But he wont listen,....These past 2 years have been horrible, Im losing my mind, stressed to the maxium limit, he goes into rages, dont talk @ all hollers, & anything & everything is MY FAULT,, NO matter what.....he does the same , the economy is bad & he will let our bank account go into overdraft, like bad, behind on ALL our bills 80% of the time, this is NOT THE MAN I MARRIED,...when he was on his meds, life was wonderful, also bank in overdraft, BUT he too goes on spending sprees when we are trying to budget, since hes taken a pay CUT in the last 3 years,..but has a brand new dodge ram hemi quad cab, boat, just drove home with the boat one day,.....NOW its way beyond out of control, i LOVE THIS MAN MORE THAN LIFE ITS SELF, we have been married for 10 years, together for 12, LAST NIGHT WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK- i had an appointment to get my hair done, which i let go so long unyil my roots are soooooo bad, cause thats not cheap, then i went grocery shopping, he knew all of this the day before, cause i walk on pins n needles, told him id probally be home after 5pm, well my appointment got bumped to 3 pm so, i was an hour later than what i said id be, but i tried calling,.....he would NOT answer, anyways when I got home all hell broke loose, didnt stop for a solid 3 hrs
, usually i would cry, fight, etc, I was just looking @ him , like you are literally crazzzzzy., I dont deserve this, not after being in a very physical abusive marriage only 1, before him....,I didnt sleep @ all last night, i did tell him somethings gotta give, I would die for him, lay down my own life for him, thats how much i love him,....BUT i dont feel the same from him @ all, oh its gotten so bad i have packed & was gonna just leave go to a friends for 2 weeks to let him see if thats what he wanted more than one time,....ALWAYS CALLS OR COMES HOME CRYING, he loves me, treats me like shit & i dont deserve it, and dont do it to him the i promises,......& KA BOOM it will happen again, all last night i prayed, and and gave it all to god, he says cast all your cares on me, for i love you and will not forsake you, & i know this, he has worked on me the past year, & i am a totally different woman for the better, am i 100% where i should be , no, but i will be one day without any doubts, also asked him to come into his heart, for i wonder these days if he even has one esp twords me.....& i dont want to be divorced, so please come into our marriage, many prayers........AND A VERY LONG STORY SHORT, THATS ALL I KNOW TO DO ANYMORE, i have wrote letters, cryed all night, so stressed i get sick, I cant do that anymore, it will kill me, & gods already given me a second chance @ life in 2006 i was in a coma, if my husband wouldnt of come home early i would of been gone, i arrived DOA @ the ER, had 107 fever for over a week, in ICU, i remember nothing,....thankful,.....but just wanted you to know you are NOT ALONE,....he hasnt cheated yet, well that I KNOW OF, CAUSE HE IS MIA ALOT & DONT ANSWER HIS PHONE, but let me do that.....omgosh......so God Bless sweetheart im 46 hes 58, ashame im alot more mature than him, & still love him like i do, cause he has said some very hurtful words that very much leave scars in my heart, & STILL I FORGIVE, i suppose outta love, I am very easy going, & so is the real him, God Bless, Angie -Texas
OMG, I feel your pain, deeply.....my husbands family 8 brothers & sisters are ALL bi-polar, My husband is the Love of my life, it took us ALMOST getting a divorce just to get him seek a Dr.
's help, Well he did like 3 years ago, all the questionaire page all his answers were 100% BI-POLAR, so the Dr started him on Cymbalta, slowly the man i married started coming back in,,,mind you I am wife # 5 didnt know it was 5 till we were already married, I knew 2, WHICH WAS ENOUGH, to make you squimish anyways, but I was already deeply in love with him, & not to be consedid.., but I am 12 1/2 years younger, & not UGLY @ all, i love to have my make up on, i'm a Texas girl, i can be a tough girl but i am also very girly, fashionable,....Well, 1 year ago our insurance stoped paying for ALL anti-depressants, so he said we cant afford them, BUT, if you get your Dr to call the insurance & say its medically nessasary 100% chance they will pay & if not, companies offer to patients that cant afford it, free or a huge discount, But he wont listen,....These past 2 years have been horrible, Im losing my mind, stressed to the maxium limit, he goes into rages, dont talk @ all hollers, & anything & everything is MY FAULT,, NO matter what.....he does the same , the economy is bad & he will let our bank account go into overdraft, like bad, behind on ALL our bills 80% of the time, this is NOT THE MAN I MARRIED,...when he was on his meds, life was wonderful, also bank in overdraft, BUT he too goes on spending sprees when we are trying to budget, since hes taken a pay CUT in the last 3 years,..but has a brand new dodge ram hemi quad cab, boat, just drove home with the boat one day,.....NOW its way beyond out of control, i LOVE THIS MAN MORE THAN LIFE ITS SELF, we have been married for 10 years, together for 12, LAST NIGHT WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK- i had an appointment to get my hair done, which i let go so long unyil my roots are soooooo bad, cause thats not cheap, then i went grocery shopping, he knew all of this the day before, cause i walk on pins n needles, told him id probally be home after 5pm, well my appointment got bumped to 3 pm so, i was an hour later than what i said id be, but i tried calling,.....he would NOT answer, anyways when I got home all hell broke loose, didnt stop for a solid 3 hrs, usually i would cry, fight, etc, I was just looking @ him , like you are literally crazzzzzy., I dont deserve this, not after being in a very physical abusive marriage only 1, before him....,I didnt sleep @ all last night, i did tell him somethings gotta give, I would die for him, lay down my own life for him, thats how much i love him,....BUT i dont feel the same from him @ all, oh its gotten so bad i have packed & was gonna just leave go to a friends for 2 weeks to let him see if thats what he wanted more than one time,....ALWAYS CALLS OR COMES HOME CRYING, he loves me, treats me like shit & i dont deserve it, and dont do it to him the i promises,......& KA BOOM it will happen again, all last night i prayed, and and gave it all to god, he says cast all your cares on me, for i love you and will not forsake you, & i know this, he has worked on me the past year, & i am a totally different woman for the better, am i 100% where i should be , no, but i will be one day without any doubts, also asked him to come into his heart, for i wonder these days if he even has one esp twords me.....& i dont want to be divorced, so please come into our marriage, many prayers........AND A VERY LONG STORY SHORT, THATS ALL I KNOW TO DO ANYMORE, i have wrote letters, cryed all night, so stressed i get sick, I cant do that anymore, it will kill me, & gods already given me a second chance @ life in 2006 i was in a coma, if my husband wouldnt of come home early i would of been gone, i arrived DOA @ the ER, had 107 fever for over a week, in ICU, i remember nothing,....thankful,.....but just wanted you to know you are NOT ALONE,....he hasnt cheated yet, well that I KNOW OF, CAUSE HE IS MIA ALOT & DONT ANSWER HIS PHONE, but let me do that.....omgosh......so God Bless sweetheart im 46 hes 58, ashame im alot more mature than him, & still love him like i do, cause he has said some very hurtful words that very much leave scars in my heart, & STILL I FORGIVE, i suppose outta love, I am very easy going, & so is the real him, God Bless, Angie -Texas
OMG, I feel your pain, deeply.....my husbands family 8 brothers & sisters are ALL bi-polar, My husband is the Love of my life, it took us ALMOST getting a divorce just to get him seek a Dr.
's help, Well he did like 3 years ago, all the questionaire page all his answers were 100% BI-POLAR, so the Dr started him on Cymbalta, slowly the man i married started coming back in,,,mind you I am wife # 5 didnt know it was 5 till we were already married, I knew 2, WHICH WAS ENOUGH, to make you squimish anyways, but I was already deeply in love with him, & not to be consedid.., but I am 12 1/2 years younger, & not UGLY @ all, i love to have my make up on, i'm a Texas girl, i can be a tough girl but i am also very girly, fashionable,....Well, 1 year ago our insurance stoped paying for ALL anti-depressants, so he said we cant afford them, BUT, if you get your Dr to call the insurance & say its medically nessasary 100% chance they will pay & if not, companies offer to patients that cant afford it, free or a huge discount, But he wont listen,....These past 2 years have been horrible, Im losing my mind, stressed to the maxium limit, he goes into rages, dont talk @ all hollers, & anything & everything is MY FAULT,, NO matter what.....he does the same , the economy is bad & he will let our bank account go into overdraft, like bad, behind on ALL our bills 80% of the time, this is NOT THE MAN I MARRIED,...when he was on his meds, life was wonderful, also bank in overdraft, BUT he too goes on spending sprees when we are trying to budget, since hes taken a pay CUT in the last 3 years,..but has a brand new dodge ram hemi quad cab, boat, just drove home with the boat one day,.....NOW its way beyond out of control, i LOVE THIS MAN MORE THAN LIFE ITS SELF, we have been married for 10 years, together for 12, LAST NIGHT WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK- i had an appointment to get my hair done, which i let go so long unyil my roots are soooooo bad, cause thats not cheap, then i went grocery shopping, he knew all of this the day before, cause i walk on pins n needles, told him id probally be home after 5pm, well my appointment got bumped to 3 pm so, i was an hour later than what i said id be, but i tried calling,.....he would NOT answer, anyways when I got home all hell broke loose, didnt stop for a solid 3 hrs, usually i would cry, fight, etc, I was just looking @ him , like you are literally crazzzzzy., I dont deserve this, not after being in a very physical abusive marriage only 1, before him....,I didnt sleep @ all last night, i did tell him somethings gotta give, I would die for him, lay down my own life for him, thats how much i love him,....BUT i dont feel the same from him @ all, oh its gotten so bad i have packed & was gonna just leave go to a friends for 2 weeks to let him see if thats what he wanted more than one time,....ALWAYS CALLS OR COMES HOME CRYING, he loves me, treats me like shit & i dont deserve it, and dont do it to him the i promises,......& KA BOOM it will happen again, all last night i prayed, and and gave it all to god, he says cast all your cares on me, for i love you and will not forsake you, & i know this, he has worked on me the past year, & i am a totally different woman for the better, am i 100% where i should be , no, but i will be one day without any doubts, also asked him to come into his heart, for i wonder these days if he even has one esp twords me.....& i dont want to be divorced, so please come into our marriage, many prayers........AND A VERY LONG STORY SHORT, THATS ALL I KNOW TO DO ANYMORE, i have wrote letters, cryed all night, so stressed i get sick, I cant do that anymore, it will kill me, & gods already given me a second chance @ life in 2006 i was in a coma, if my husband wouldnt of come home early i would of been gone, i arrived DOA @ the ER, had 107 fever for over a week, in ICU, i remember nothing,....thankful,.....but just wanted you to know you are NOT ALONE,....he hasnt cheated yet, well that I KNOW OF, CAUSE HE IS MIA ALOT & DONT ANSWER HIS PHONE, but let me do that.....omgosh......so God Bless sweetheart im 46 hes 58, ashame im alot more mature than him, & still love him like i do, cause he has said some very hurtful words that very much leave scars in my heart, & STILL I FORGIVE, i suppose outta love, I am very easy going, & so is the real him, God Bless, Angie -Texas
I want to give my testimony about my situation with jk. When I asked divine.lovespell for help getting him to forgive me and love me again, I really thought things were hopless. You were my last resort, and honestly, I had my doubts that this would even work. But things have changed so dramatically in the last month that I am beyond astonished! He came to me on his own, and told me he wanted to talk. After a long, very good talk, we decided we would give things another try. I am so excited, he loves me again! Things are going so wonderfully. I dont know how to thank divine.lovespell@aol.com
I am glad I found this site.
Is anyone out there right now?
My husband brought me flowers less than a week ago, and he has movers coming in a few hours. He got an apartment yesterday and won't speak to me.
We've only been married over 2 years, but everything has been my fault.
I am so confused.
He won't get help for this.
I want to stop him from leaving, but he is ignoring me.
hello, my story is pretty much the same as therest of you, but the only problem i have is my husband doesnt abuse drugs or drink that often. But he goes to work, n then turns around n tells me hes depressed to come home, n i cant understand y hes depressed. we have been married 4yrs, been together for almost 6, and i love him to death, but he brings up a divorce, sits n plays world of warcraft all day long, wont come to bed with me, but still gives me hugs, n im confused on do i let him go and move on with my life. or do i keep trying to see if he will snap out of it and get help? he has lost all interest in hobbies, n all the fun things we used to do in our life.
I typed in about my wife being bipolar but she sounds just like all your husbands. Things are OK and then for no reason she starts yelling and screaming, sometimes at me and my daughter but just as often to people who aren't even there. Today while I was at work my daughter called me crying, her mom was yelling and when she asked her to stop yelling, they argued and now my daughter has a bruised face and a chipped tooth. I am trying to make peace but I know if I lift a hand to protect my daughter I will be arrested immediately. This is the second time my wife has become violent (aside from smashing glasses and dishes) and striking and hurting my daughter is enough. She won't see a doctor or listen to reason, now I finally need to do something. I can't rationalize it any long saying it is female hormones or other excuses. She is now dangerous and if I understand what the women here are saying about their husbands it will only get worse. It has to stop.
Happy evening to every one, My girlfriend of 2 years and I got back together last night. We broke up 6 weeks ago but continued hanging out together because we really enjoy each others company and we are best friends. We were friends before we became lovers and I NEVER thought she would dump me. She frequently told me that I was "the one" and that we would always be together. But she dumped me!!.At this point, I just realized all hope was lost and started working on moving on. That's when i saw this online spell caster who helped me in casting the spell. Last night she stayed at my place and we sat from around midnight to morning talking about “us”. We just kissed and held hands. She was surprised that her toothbrush was still in the holder on the sink. She told me she wants to get back together and to forgive her for what happened.I recommend this spell caster to anyone who is currently contemplating giving up the hopes of getting their ex back, The email of the spell caster is templeofancientancestors@gmail.com, He is very relaible and trust worhty i am a leaving testimony to his spell..... My name is Keneth.
Happy evening to every one, My girlfriend of 2 years and I got back together last night. We broke up 6 weeks ago but continued hanging out together because we really enjoy each others company and we are best friends. We were friends before we became lovers and I NEVER thought she would dump me. She frequently told me that I was "the one" and that we would always be together. But she dumped me!!.At this point, I just realized all hope was lost and started working on moving on. That's when i saw this online spell caster who helped me in casting the spell. Last night she stayed at my place and we sat from around midnight to morning talking about “us”. We just kissed and held hands. She was surprised that her toothbrush was still in the holder on the sink. She told me she wants to get back together and to forgive her for what happened.I recommend this spell caster to anyone who is currently contemplating giving up the hopes of getting their ex back, The email of the spell caster is templeofancientancestors@gmail.com, He is very relaible and trust worhty i am a leaving testimony to his spell..... My name is Keneth.
Am Sonia, i base in USA. i had problem with my ex boy friend some months ago. And he was cheating on me which hurt me badly,and he was also avoiding me,He no longer pick my calls.I was totally confused cos i don't know what to do.There was a day i was surfing the internet i came in contact with this spell caster who have helped so many people in their relationship.So i contacted him and explain everything to him.And he told me to do some things,I did the correctly.To cut it short.My ex boy friend gave me a call and said to me that we should have a date,i agreed.On the date,He was begging me to have him back and i agreed we are now together as one again,Planing our wedding. Thank you oracletemplesolution@live.com for rescuing my relationship.....continue your good work oracletemplesolution@live.com....
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I too am POSITIVE my husband is bi-polar, but when I earnestly try to talk to him in a rare 'calm' moment, he says I am 'bashing' him and putting him down. I can't say a word in my house, I walk on egg shells 24/7. I have to make sure my tone of voice is just right when I say 'good morning' or it could trigger a fight??? One minute he is totally 'normal', then out of the blue, BAM! He is raving psychotic about anything he can twist into a fight! I keep my mouth shut 90% of the time and don't fight back, it use to escalade into him hittin me. We have two small children in the house, so I am typically in 'peace at any price' mode. But I am only human, and can only take so much for so long. He is a truck driver and over the past 2 years, I have found several emails, etc from girls (and actually 1 guy!) He has tried to hook up with! My 4 & 5 year olds ask me to fine a 'new daddy', our 5 yo. daughter is conflicted over wanting his attention and his tantrums in which he tells our children he is leaving and never coming back. Our 4 yo son tells him to his face he is a 'mean, bad daddy and shouldn't come here any more'. I have done my best to sheild my children from him, he was only in town a few days a month, but since recently starting his own business, he is home, at least briefly, a couple of days a week. One night he is taking us out to dinner, then on the way home he will just SNAP over nothing??? I do my best to shield my children from his moods and out bursts, my fear is the psychological damage all of this could be doing to my children...it's harder now that he is around more. He hasn't hit me in 1 year, the longest he has ever gone is 18 mo. He SNAPPED one morning because he thought my sister, who lives 3,000 miles away in which I was talking to on the phone - he thought we were talking about him??? We were discussing chucky cheese birthday parties for te kids?!?
If I could decently support myself and children and/or had family or friends I could move in with for a while til I got on my feet...I would have left years ago. But I am financially dependent on him. And now that he is self-employed...getting child support and alimony would be on his integrity and good faith, which is subject to his moment-by-moment mood swings...I can't count on it. So here I stay. I die a little bit each day I suffer through this. It may very well be a mental disorder, but if he doesn't seek help, and doesn't see the is doing to his family...at what point does the empathetic, loyal wife walk? He cheats, lies to me constantly, he is verbally abusive...holidays seem to set him off the most. He seems to literally go out of his way to ruin them. Xmas eve day he began driving irratically on the way home from taking us out to breakfast, with the kids in the car, screaming he was going to kill us! It is the first time I ever feared for my life and the life of my children. I tightened their seat belts, and mine, I was turned in my seat, holding their hands.They were terrifird...this went on for about 20 minutes! He was endangering his own business...if he woukd have gotten a ticket for reckless driving, he would have lost his business he had worked so hard to start. I was begging him to please stop....he was shouting "YOU DID THIS! YOU DID THIS! YOU DID THIS! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" All because towards the end of breakfast I asked when we would start looking into private health insurance (which we had discussed many times before when we knew he would be self employed)...and it just set him off. He took off for a while after dropping us off and peeling out of the driveway. He came home hours later. The rest of Xmas eve he was mostly silent, and I always seem to put on an extra happy face for the kids after his episodes. Xmas eve day, he was "normal", but for me I was still shaken. I truly tought he was going to kill us out of blind insanity, or his simple recklessness. I do all I can to avoid getting in a car with him driving anymore. And if we do...I dont say much out of fear he will "snap". The day before Easter this month, he also freaked out over taking the kids to the easter egg hunt, which I had told him about, where, and what time, over the course of the week. He almost packed up his stuff (laptop, and bag and take off in his semi and hang out at the truck yard until it was time to go back driving)...earlier,,,he was just looking for reasons to fight and have an excuse to walk out. I can't even remember nowwhat set him off. But he left the day before easter, missed easter with his own children, ruining yet another holiday, and blaming it on me??? I sware, I am so careful with everything I say and do when he is home. I dont ever, ever ask him to do anything around the house, with the kids, nothing. He comes home, watches TV or plays on the computer. I say nothing. He makes huge messes, I clean up with out a word. I cook for him, and go out of my way to wait on him hand and foot, making sute he is comfortable and happy. It kills me to kiss the ass of a man that treats me so badly...but I want to keep peace in my house for the sake of my kids. He often makes nasty, snippy, under handed comments to me, some days CONSTANTLY...if I say ANYTHING in reply, it will set him off. So I say nothing. The cheating, deception (about a lot of things money, work, etc), tantrums and crappy fathering, the cruelty and mistreatment of me...I understand he obviously has a mental illness. But I dont think myself and my children should have to endure this if he doesn't think he has a problem. Funny, he loses most of the friends he makes. He always blames it on them. Just like our problems...I'm the crazy one, I'm the psycho...his own mother has nothing to do with him. Everthing that has ever gone wrong in his life, even things that have blatently been his own actions...it is ALWAYS some one else's fault.
I just dont know how much I can take. My sister's husband is becoming really bad too? he has even threatened suicide recently...it makes me wonder...is this all really bi-polar disorder? Or just men?