OMG, I feel your pain, deeply.....my husbands family 8 brothers & sisters are ALL bi-polar, My husband is the Love of my life, it took us ALMOST getting a divorce just to get him seek a Dr. 's help, Well he did like 3 years ago, all the questionaire page all his answers were 100% BI-POLAR, so the Dr started him on Cymbalta, slowly the man i married started coming back in,,,mind you I am wife # 5 didnt know it was 5 till we were already married, I knew 2, WHICH WAS ENOUGH, to make you squimish anyways, but I was already deeply in love with him, & not to be consedid.., but I am 12 1/2 years younger, & not UGLY @ all, i love to have my make up on, i'm a Texas girl, i can be a tough girl but i am also very girly, fashionable,....Well, 1 year ago our insurance stoped paying for ALL anti-depressants, so he said we cant afford them, BUT, if you get your Dr to call the insurance & say its medically nessasary 100% chance they will pay & if not, companies offer to patients that cant afford it, free or a huge discount, But he wont listen,....These past 2 years have been horrible, Im losing my mind, stressed to the maxium limit, he goes into rages, dont talk @ all hollers, & anything & everything is MY FAULT,, NO matter what.....he does the same , the economy is bad & he will let our bank account go into overdraft, like bad, behind on ALL our bills 80% of the time, this is NOT THE MAN I MARRIED,...when he was on his meds, life was wonderful, also bank in overdraft, BUT he too goes on spending sprees when we are trying to budget, since hes taken a pay CUT in the last 3 years,..but has a brand new dodge ram hemi quad cab, boat, just drove home with the boat one day,.....NOW its way beyond out of control, i LOVE THIS MAN MORE THAN LIFE ITS SELF, we have been married for 10 years, together for 12, LAST NIGHT WAS THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMELS BACK- i had an appointment to get my hair done, which i let go so long unyil my roots are soooooo bad, cause thats not cheap, then i went grocery shopping, he knew all of this the day before, cause i walk on pins n needles, told him id probally be home after 5pm, well my appointment got bumped to 3 pm so, i was an hour later than what i said id be, but i tried calling,.....he would NOT answer, anyways when I got home all hell broke loose, didnt stop for a solid 3 hrs, usually i would cry, fight, etc, I was just looking @ him , like you are literally crazzzzzy., I dont deserve this, not after being in a very physical abusive marriage only 1, before him....,I didnt sleep @ all last night, i did tell him somethings gotta give, I would die for him, lay down my own life for him, thats how much i love him,....BUT i dont feel the same from him @ all, oh its gotten so bad i have packed & was gonna just leave go to a friends for 2 weeks to let him see if thats what he wanted more than one time,....ALWAYS CALLS OR COMES HOME CRYING, he loves me, treats me like shit & i dont deserve it, and dont do it to him the i promises,......& KA BOOM it will happen again, all last night i prayed, and and gave it all to god, he says cast all your cares on me, for i love you and will not forsake you, & i know this, he has worked on me the past year, & i am a totally different woman for the better, am i 100% where i should be , no, but i will be one day without any doubts, also asked him to come into his heart, for i wonder these days if he even has one esp twords me.....& i dont want to be divorced, so please come into our marriage, many prayers........AND A VERY LONG STORY SHORT, THATS ALL I KNOW TO DO ANYMORE, i have wrote letters, cryed all night, so stressed i get sick, I cant do that anymore, it will kill me, & gods already given me a second chance @ life in 2006 i was in a coma, if my husband wouldnt of come home early i would of been gone, i arrived DOA @ the ER, had 107 fever for over a week, in ICU, i remember nothing,....thankful,.....but just wanted you to know you are NOT ALONE,....he hasnt cheated yet, well that I KNOW OF, CAUSE HE IS MIA ALOT & DONT ANSWER HIS PHONE, but let me do that.....omgosh......so God Bless sweetheart im 46 hes 58, ashame im alot more mature than him, & still love him like i do, cause he has said some very hurtful words that very much leave scars in my heart, & STILL I FORGIVE, i suppose outta love, I am very easy going, & so is the real him, God Bless, Angie -Texas