OMG, I think I finally came across the right forum.  It sounds like cookie cutter incidents.  2 yrs ago my husband and I had our fights as he'd always been a little verbally/mentally abusive.  But over the past two years he's really taken a down turn.  He would start arguements over very very small things.  He decided to get randomly obsessed during his unemployment with buying antique toys, GiJoes.  He was still budget conscious but it was an obsession.  Perhaps bordem I thought.  He had been perscribed an antidepressant, he quit taking it, then he wrote sucide letter.  In recent months he's damaged our property, he has become physically abusive with me, then wasn't even apologetic.  Then tried hard to be good.  Over the past 2 years he's threated to be separated or divorced from me a dozen times.  With a recent episode of abuse I filed an order for protection.  I love him so much I sobbed the whole time, but I don't know what else to do.  I can't live like that anymore.  I've tried to continue communication with him but every other time we visit he does something stupid or really mean.  I almost shake when I see it's him who's calling again.  I told him I didn't want to see him the other day and he came to the house, called me 25x and rang my doorbell 50x.  He insisted on being able to see me.  He asked for a divorce.  He suggested he should move away because it would be a long time for him to get better and so he wouldn't hurt me.  I'm scared to be divorced but am beginning to think it's best for the kids and I.  My heart hurts with compassion that I would leave someone I love when they are down and hurting, during their deepest struggle in life but I don't know that I will survive if I don't.  The emotional toll is too great.