I am a 47 female. Divorced 15 months, emptynester, and perimenopausal. Attempted suicide 10/11/09. Had my first major manic episode during summer 09. Sister is bipolar.
Since starting new meds- wellbutron, depakote- physically and mentally feeling way below par. Several anxiey attacks out in public by myself, crying, crying, crying.... angry, irritable, stressed. Returning to work as a HS teacher on Monday. Scared shitless!
Hi, Of-Two-Minds. These meds side effects are unacceptable. You need to pick up the phone and let your pdoc know right now. Seldom is one lucky enough to get on the meds that are right for you the first time. A lot of trial and error is par for the course.
Often, the meds will make you feel worse before they make you feel better, and the usual counsel is to give your meds a chance to work. Side effects tend to be felt immediately, then tend to recede as the body adjusts. The beneficial effects, on the other hand, tend to take weeks to kick in.
But what you are describing is not acceptable.
As for going back to school Monday in this condition, I would strongly urge against it. You are simply not ready for the demands of facing students in this condition. The last thing you need is some kind of incident that will jeopardize your career. It's far less risky to take the needed time off and put up with grumblings about you being a slacker. You need to be 1) stable and 2) able to handle the stress. Right now, it is clear you miss on both criteria.
You wouldn't go to work with 17 broken bones and two squished organs. Wait till you are in decent shape. The meds need to be working for you, and you need to feel in a state of healing. In the meantime, I admire your spunk, which is a very healthy sign. Be encouraged, but be realistic, and be careful.
I would talk to your psychiatrist about the medication regimine. I am bipolar and I take wellbutrin, cymbalta, seroquel and clonazepam every once in a while when I have a lot of anxiety. I feel pretty good on this regimine, it's not perfect, but I am better than before taking meds. Not every day will be good even on meds, but the right combo will help. There are lots of great anti-anxiety meds than the ones you are taking. I've never attempted suicide, but I've come really close to doing it and used to have daily thoughts about it. I would also find a good counselor/therapist to talk to. They really do help. I would also thinkg about finding a good support group in your area-you might find people there that you become friends with so that you don't feel so lonely. I am currently looking for such a support group here for myself. How many children do you have and how close do they live to you? If they live close, do they like to do things with you, go out, offer support, etc.? I hope some of this is a little bit of help to you. And if you can't get to a place where you feel better with your current doc, find a new psychiatrist!
Seriously, try FISH OIL. Ever since summer I have been feeling sick, I went to the Doctors, the they prescribed me Praxine (They thought I had anixety). Because I had a few panic attacks and thought I was going to die everyday. I could not think straight, I felt physically and mentally below par as well and always just wanted to lay down. I looked up Fish Oil, and I went to GNC and bought the Triple Strength kind. Since the first time I took it, I am more relaxed, my mind isnt, and my panics are gone (cross my fingers) and I do not feel as fatigued. My sickness has not gone away yet, I am still going to the DOCS for that, but as far as the mental and some physical has dramatically improved. Give it a shot!
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By the Way, I did not have to take Praxine since Fish Oil did the work! Those meds DOCs provide are seriously bad for you! They dont help in the long run!