Thank you and I know you are right but it is so hard. I am sitting here now crying he just wants me to leave him alone.  I feel so alone.  This is a crisis and I dont know if I can make it through this one.

{{{Hugs}}}  I know you feel alone but you aren't.  Do you have a friend you can talk this out with?  You are correct this is a crisis but you can make it through!!!  I promise, you can.  When I was suicidal, my first husband walked into the bathroom to find me sitting under the counter, rocking back and forth and banging my head against the wall.  He stood there, watching and proclaimed, "If you are thinking of killing yourself, you do know that it's your problem - not mine."  Good Lord!!!  The reason people say crap like that or leave all together is because they don't understand the illness.  Half the time we (the BP person) don't understand the illness.  Talk to your doctor, therapist, a friend, me....but don't give up.  Odds are your husband hasn't stopped loving you but doesn't know how to cope with the diagnosis or the chaos the illness creates.  You have done nothing wrong!  You can and will get through!  And, crying is ok...it's better than holding it in.

Keep in touch!!!

Deb

Hello, I'm in a similar situation...  I'm the bipolar and my wife has been with me for a very long time, but has shut me out.  Just a couple of weeks ago she admitted to having affairs with two different men over the last couple of months.  I've rationalized her stepping out on me, but getting past her lies and half-truths have what almost got me hospitalized this week.  I hope for the best for you, I understand the loneliness and emptiness but I found a new therapist who didn't pull any punches and has me starting a daytime hospitalization program, so I can hopefully salvage my life and family.

Work with your docs, they are there to help you, if your meds aren't working scream until they get you some.  That's what I'm planning on doing.

Good Luck to you and your family.  I have also found out that my husband has been having an affair.  I  understand why he is having the affair and I would take him back in a second.  He will not speak to me on the phone or through email.  He wants nothing to do with me, "I'm crazy".  I try to stay focused on my treatment plan that my counselor and I have set up and I take my medications, hoping the next day will be better than the last.  I  miss our conversations, I miss the safety I felt when we were together.    I can only hope that someday someone will accept me for me.  Take care of you.