I will try to answer from my own personal experience. I don't think loving someone is as much a problem as much as listening to the person when they are speaking without interuppting or acting defensive to something they have said. That is what got me in trouble and I lost someone who I am still in love with, it hurts but I am moving on. I don't take medication (made me worse, zombie like, and so unproductive, not to mention addicted) I researched and found an excellent therapist, a female because I believed that we would relate better due to the fact that we are the same sex, in others words I would feel more validated and understood because we are females. I also attened AA program, and no I am not an alcoholic and yes, addicted to phsyc meds did not abuse them, you see for me part of the bipolar was living with an alcoholic parent, being sexual abused by an alcoholic, and living with an enabler so, for me personally I had to sit there listen, understand the disease, to see people recover, and many of them claim to have bipolar and alcohlism. I also read melody beatties books on codependent and a few others. I finally realized that my bipolar II was in a nutshell emotional sickeness, ptsd. For the last 3 years I have worked on my feelings and behaviors. Most of what I learned about myself was that I had low self-esteem, shame, fear, anger, self-less, self-centered, no self-worth.
I was a scared, abused little girl hiding in an angry woman's body. I thought something or someone was going to fill that void in my gut, I found out I was wrong, I was responsible for my own happiness, my life and no one else.
I decided that labeling myself was an excuse not to deal with the painful core issues, the pills numb it somewhat, I didn't have to be responsible and when I really let myself spiral off into an emotional nut I would take a vacation in the physch ward.
We all suffer from some past family dysfunction, some more than others. The entire american population is on pills because we all have learn that a quick fix is much better than doing the work and getting honest with ourselves.
Don't get me wrong there are I feel a few exception(s) that should be on medication.
You know they arrest people for possessing drugs, the consequences are fines, jail and a permanent record. And America can push drugs on TV adds and through doctors and legally get us hooked.
I ask myself the question "Is American really hurting by giving so many young Americans social security disability for mental health illnesses or do they benefit financially by way of the pharmacutical companies?
Anyway if you want to love, you got to grow up and do the work of emotional recovery.
I am a work in progress. I had to go through to get to the other side.
Today I am in recovery from bipolar, I see a therapist, support group and I have worked on my communication skills and attitude. The most important thing that I have done however, is build a idenity of my own. I have taken on hobbies, new friends and interest that I mostly isolated from before.
No I didn't get my X back and I am still in love with him deeply but I don't spend my days by the phone, or kidding myself that he will get over my unsavory behavior. The truth is he thought it was too much work and he wasn't willing to do the work or put up with a woman who he thought he didn't have time to wait and see if I ever changed my behavior.
And yes he know that I have been working on myself but he like all of has his own fears. I have accpeted that we will never be and responsibility of the fact that I had no business being in a relationship, especially when I was even in a healthy relationship with myself.
You have to work on yourself and love you before you can love anyone else in full.
Good luck and if you really want to find the answer to your question look in the mirror and ask yourself Why you feel mute when it comes to love.
I was dx with bipolar and I can give love, feel love, I just could never handle all that came with love like a mature adult.
We only have two emotions "Love and Fear" we can chose which one we want to manifest. I decided to love and since then I have been medication free for almost two and half years. Today I can honestly say that I love myself. My relationships are better. Getting here was not easy but as time when on it got better...the confusion truned into clarity.
Good luck..........do the work if you want love!