How do I deal with someone in Maina who has a tendancy to be mean-spirited and hurtful (verbally) to me?
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9/17/08 1:33pm
Hi, RandRod. I second BipolarBear's comments. First, there is no useful purpose in dealing with a manic person (or for that matter anyone in a bad mood). You need to leave the room. Second, when the person is rational, you need to inform the individual that their behavior is totally unacceptable. You need to establish firm boundaries. You also need to get across that the person needs to be responsible for his own behavior, and that mania doesn't cut it as an excuse - that's why we have meds and various recovery tools. Yes, you will be sympathetic - to a point. Third, you need to be aware of an escalating situation. If you spot his mood ramping up, there may be things you can do to settle him down before things reach a flashpoint. This means you need to be microscopically attuned to everything going on with him. You can often nip a potentially bad situation in the bud. If you can't - you need to clear the room fast.
9/15/08 6:04pm
Sometimes people in mania are not going to remember any of the odd stuff they said, so if this is the case, I would not engage in any long discussion or agument, I would disengage. Get cognitive or talk therapy or couples therapy if possible. I am a big advocate of not excusing my behavior with my disorder but there is a certain point where the mania can be so bad, one does do stuff that is out of character. You may want to go to a support group. The one I go to, lots of support people come. I have gotten a lot of perspective what my guy goes through and this helps me to stick to treatment. Best of luck to you.
1/29/09 11:59am
My college age son has been suffering from bi-polar for a few years. His most recent mania, for which he is now being hospitalized, is turning dark and mean-spirited in mood. He is angry with his father and I for having him hospitalized although his friends brought him back home b/c they couldn't listen to him stay up alll night talking. In addition, although we pay all his expenses he says he owes us nothing in terms of money or respect.
Because I have bi-polar (and have been hospitalized and treated successfully for many years) I see that he is one sick kid. I try not to respond to what he is saying. My husband and I are also not visiting him, as the doctors told us he is agitated and it will not help.
I love this kid. This is totally out of character. This is the lowest time I have yet to experience. I know that he will be free to leave and b/c he doesn't want to take meds he will be unbalanced enough to do risky and things. It makes me sad beyond words.
I came on this site to hear from anyone constructively dealing with the pain and discomfort of living with the disease or living with someone with the disease. I hope you take care of yourself and find good friends that support you. Best to you!
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By RandRod— Last Modified: 10/26/11, First Published: 09/13/08
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