Why do they usually turn against their loved one first!

I have bipolar disorder and I take an antipsychotic med too but I do all I can to separate my illness from those I really love. Sometimes we feel helpless and overwhelmed with our brutal explosion of mixed emotions and psychotic thoughts and it's not easy to avoid hurting those who are closest to us specially those who know about our disorder.

I think he did the right thing by leaving or I'm sure he would hurt you in many ways if he stayed. Having an unbalanced brain and so much emotional pain makes us go off because we we can't take it for too long it takes titanic strength and most of the times we fall and break inside. I'm sure he is hurting and probably confused but he is protecting you and your sun from himself and his ability to coupe with everything, one way or another.

It's quite possible that he needs a bigger dose of the antipsychotic but that's for his pdoc to say how much higher.

I'm truly sorry you are in this situation as your baby too. But speaking for myself, I had to leave my relationship of 5 years before we moved in together because I had no strength left to coupe with so much, never the less was I ever hurtful to him and he is still my best and only friend.

Best of luck to you and your sun.

Alex

Hi Vanessa.

From what I've seen and from my treatment, the meds have to be readjust from time to time because the body does adapt and at some point it may start losing it's effect. But it's doable; people can live a productive life and be in balance as they should if they cooperate with their Pdoc.

What worries me is that we deal with so much internally that we end up not having the energy nor the space in our mind for what is expected of us on the outside; Family, friends, work...

I wish I could help you more and even have a magic wand to bring him back to you and to your baby but... The other thing that you have to wait and see is if he still wants or can go back to you. It is a very hard process to get back on his feet and start a normal life with the proper treatment, you really have to be patient and take care of yourself. Don't put any pressure on him to come back because that will push him away, he doesn't need any sort of stress or pressure, it's a big no no to us all.

 He will need time to find his space in your relationship whatever it may be because you have a child to take care of but he is what he is now, not the husband you had for all those years I suggest you look and this version of himself instead of asking him to go back and be the one you had fall in love with, or it would be like denying what he is going through.

Be gentle and caring to him he needs a friend, someone he can come to for emotional help, in resume something light. Maybe you could have some therapy alone and get more help in how to deal with him but preserving yourself.

My dear Vanessa, I do have a great respect for those who have to deal with our illness and still don't give up on us because it's the hardest thing to do and it's very complex to explain what we are going through and what we need, when sometimes we don't even know how to explain it.

Take care Vanessa. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here for you this is the best site ever to get support and it's full of beautiful and caring people. You are not alone.

I pray you both find the best way to get your lives back together and be as happy or even more as you used to be.

Best of luck.

Alex

Hi, Vanessa. This is a terrible time for you. Some guidelines: When a person is experiencing psychosis (or for that matter just about all severe mental illness states) rationality is a nonstarter. Thoughts are disordered, feelings rage out of control. In this state, his behavior toward you is going to be completely out of character and without rhyme or reason. If he were half-way rational, he would be treating you with a lot more consideration.

So - this is a stage of his illness talking and not him. You need to believe that.

As for the drugs having no effect on his psychosis for at least a month - this is highly unusual. At the very least, a meds overkill can induce a state of sedated zombie-hood fairly quickly. Then, of course, a lot more time and effort is required to calibrate the right dose.

One possibility is that your husband may not be taking his meds and lying about it. Patients have been known to lie, which is an understatement. But I would be very careful about confronting him on this. The last thing you want to do is anger an individual who is already behaving in an irrational and abusive fashion. It would be best to consult his doctor on this - please do not hesitate to pick up the phone.

Again, I know this is a terrible time for you. Please do what you can to look after yourself, and don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family. Hope this helps -