Friday, April 17, 2009 BalanceBaby asks

Q: BP Daughter goes from FINE to FURIOUS in 15 seconds---how to manage?

My 7 y.o. daughter's anger cycle ramps up SO QUICKLY! She's a rapid cycler, experiences one to two scream-fests per day (and yes, that is WITH medicine) They don't last any more than 20 minutes, but she is SO HURTFUL, SO LOUD, and occasionally hits at/bites at me.

She's a JOY, she really is. We love her so much, but we want to help her to recognize WHEN she feels a storm is coming on, so that she can prevent it.

She is taking medicine, and we have worked with the counselor (we're about 6 months into this BP diagnosis, and only 3 counseling sessions strong so far) on ways she can try to see a storm coming on. She has a great plan for how to cool down. She made it up herself (with counselor's help) and it WOULD be great.....

The only problem is that when you go from Fine to Furious in 10 to 30 seconds, it's hard to be able to retrieve the cool down plan. That's not even enough time for us to ask her if she thinks a storm is coming and if she might want to start on her cool down plan.

Do you have advice???? We're still too new at this. Knowing why she is this way has helped a lot, and having a plan in place makes her feel BETTER----but it's not a good plan if she can never actually get control enough to implement it.

Thanks.

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Answers (3)

John McManamy, Health Guide

4/24/09 2:12am

Hi, BalanceBaby. I have no direct experience with this, but I have talked to the leading child bipolar experts and hundreds of bipolar parents, and what you describe is very typical. Believe me, for someone with no direct experience I know exactly what you are going through. I'm sure you have tried everything, but let's go through the drill and see if we left anything out:

1. Bad reaction to limit-setting behavior. You say no and she goes ballistic.

2. Trigger from stress. Kids these days are under a lot of stress.

3. Rocket thrusters go off. Sometime in the afternoon, with no warning, pow!

4. Wound up at bed time.

As you know, you can't stop any of this. The best you can do is contain it. I'm sure you have implemented every trick in the book by now, but if you need more answers I suggest checking out the website of the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation:

http://www.bpkids.org. There you can communicate with other parents who undoubtedly have tricks to share with you.

I wish I could be of more help, but please accept the fact that I really appreciate what you go through, and that I wish the best for you and your daughter and the rest of your family.

knowthyself

4/17/09 5:19pm

BalanceBaby,

Your counselor will be the best person to help you work on this.

You probably remember a time or two in your life when you became furious. Were you really thinking at that point or were you simply reacting?

She has a plan but she can only access and implement that plan if she is thinking and not in the throws of emotion. She needs to learn to identify those situations (triggers) that result in an outburst. She also needs to learn to identify her own feelings, internal/bodily sensations and learn to identfy that particular feeling when it starts and before she has an outburst so that she knows when to take action to calm herself down.

There must be consequences to her outbursts and positive reinforcement for her use of a coping skill, even minimal use. You will have to work with her whenever you can.

If you have difficulty helping her to identify when to use a coping skill, ask the counselor to help or give you some resources that will.

Stacey

4/17/09 9:10pm

My son is 6 years old and in Kindergarten. We held him back a year so he could "mature" out of his tantrums (rages). They only got worse as his preschool year got further along. We finally started him in therapy and the phsychologist saw the bipolar traits in him. We finally took him to a phsychiatrist this past autumn. Most of his rages occur during transitions, so we pretty much know what will set him off. The problem is that they usually occur during school--when he has P.E., a performance, or clean-up time. I feel so helpless and sit on pins and needles when I go to pick him up from school. I wait for the day they tell me he shouldn't be in their school anymore. I hace so much anxiety over it all.

Q: BP Daughter goes from FINE to FURIOUS in 15 seconds---how to manage?

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