I keep doing research and i know that i'm supposed to be keeping track of the patterns and symptoms but it just isnt that easy. I thikn that this was triggered by a small fight we had. nothing big or especially devastating, but i know the status of that doesnt really matter. the point is that it's here and its coming. i know it started with depression, that's obvious. but now he's being reclusive, shutting me out completely, saying things like that seem like warnings of whats going on but then wont elaborate or talk back when im trying to inquire about it. he keeps saying things like, "i dont know what im talking about" "i dont want to talk about it" and such. he's already mentioned wanting to hurt himself. ive beenreading, researching, talking to people, everything i can. but this takes time. which leads me back to my inital problem.
Q: My bp bf is in the beginning stages of an episode and i dont know how to label the stages. URGENT
Hi, always there. Knowthyself has excellent advice. One thing to add:
A mental illness episode may be preceded by stress, just as a cold may be preceded by a scratchy throat. Early detection and intervention can help, but a partner who puts up a brave front can frustrate this. Trust me, you will get quite adept at developing radar.
Then you will see signs of your partner acting strange, but which are often quite rational coping responses, such as shutting himself off in his room. Hopefully, he will snap out of it. If not, then come the irrational coping responses, such as shutting himself in his room for days.
By then an unavoidable episode is about to come crashing down. If you fail to pick up the early warning signs, the episode appears to have come out of the blue. Rarely is this the case. You can usually detect things going on much earlier. This doesn't mean early intervention will necessarily always work, but it can dramatically improve your chances, or at least soften the impact.
Hope this helps.
alwaysthere,
There are no stages, only symptoms of depression, hypomainia, and mania. The episodes take their name from the mood state occurring at that time.
One little fight or argument is not going to trigger and episode. If you are feeling responsible, stop. It is also not your responsibilty to remedy the situation or take care of him and his illness. Obviously you care and feel like you are always there for him but you must ask, when is he going to take care of himself, if you are always there to take care of him.
He is the one that is in a positioin to be most aware of symptoms and take action to get the appropriate treatment. If he does not learn to identify his symptoms and act quickly then he will continue to go through episodes of longer duration because of his inaction. You cannot do all of this for him. If he does not mind the episodes or what results from them, then he can continue to do nothing. If he does not like the instability, then he must do something to change the situation.
You can research, you can learn, you can even seek counseling to help you cope with issues related to him and his disorder but none of this is going to help him if he is unwilling to help himself or listen to you.
If he is on medications and continues to have episodes, then he needs to see his psychiatrist and have him evaluate his treatment and make the appropriate changes or adjustments to his medication. He needs to identify when their may be an issue with his medication. He needs to make the choice to seek or to go into his therapist if their are issues that are challenging him. You may be able to help him but he is the one closest to the action and in a position to recognize and react appropriatly.
You can do only so much and must accept your limitations. You can help him save himself but you are not and cannot be his savior. Do not feel bad or frustrated when your efforts are not successful. You are doing your best and must recognize and accept it as good enough.
If he suicidal ideation increases to planning or putting the plan together and there is a sign of serious intent, contact the authorities immediatly, so he can be evaluated and possibly treated. If he is not willing to help himself and will not listen to you, then he will have to listen to them.
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