I'm so lost that I'm finally here writing for some help. It's no small thing for me to question if my partner is bipolar. I'm clinically depressed and being treated for it, and I take the consideration of mental health problems very seriously. That being said, for years I have been unable to figure out a way to explain my partner's behavior that is ultimately destroying our relationship and me. Even if she is bipolar, but remains unwilling to get help, I know I have to leave for myself. If anything, it would help me walk away a little better, if I knew it was-in fact-a mental disorder and not something I could have done better.

I feel like her view of the world and our relationship is very distorted the majority of the time. She is beyond intelligent and articulate, but frequently expresses sentiments that someone is against her and has a self-righteous belief that she is perfectly fine. My pain, concerns, expressed needs, etc. are used as an attack against me most of the time, as she defends how wonderful she has been to me, instead of just having a healthy communication. She frequently shifts moods from normal conversation to extreme rage..sometimes I will see just her eyes change and I know it's coming. For a long time, I thought I was causing this reaction, but now I realize it comes regardless. She can yell for an hour, talking non-stop, not breaking for my tears or anything, and then when I address things she's said-she insists she didn't say those things. I could give numerous other examples, but you get the point.

I've considered if she's just abusive, a rage-a-holic, has borderline personality disorder, or is just not a good person. To have the fluctuations between her telling me how much she loves me to how horrible of a person I am, then back to she loves me, without ever addressing or validating why I'm so confused about her feelings for me, makes me feel like I'm the one who's crazy. Can anyone relate or help?