My bi-polar husband abandoned me , his cat, my two children a month ago.  I asked him to leave-but it was more fictitiously as I was having too many problems with him. i loved him but he was causing me pain constantly.  He yelled at me, called me swear words which I've never had done before, speeded 90mph-scared me to death several dangerous driving episodes, slammed my arm in the door, squeezed my arms hard, hit his other wife, kicked the cat, made tons promises he never kept, never was dependable for anything, always late, broke ton things on my property, never accomplished anything in marriage-just took from me.  I felt I was loosing my life-he wanted to dissappear all of it.  He treated my kids like visitors which he didn't have a minute for.  He put down everything about me-and usually people like all I do.  He undermined my parental authority disrespectfully.  He was always looking at other women and describing how he liked them in front of me.    He key-locked the finances away from me-$600,000 of our money.  He would never let me have anymoney in the marriage-I'd be running out of gas-and he'd only "loan me money if he said I had to pay him back."  I had no savings-and we had no prenuptial of "his money" "My money' but he didn't want to do a thing for me in the marriage.  I finally realized and told him "it was all about him and his roller coaster/depression problems," or "his ego=Godlike."  Everything was about him and he always got his way.  If he didn't he wouldn't talk to me for days until I apologized for teling him he did something wrong.  He yelled at me and the cat-as he threw the cat,  "he couldn't stand to be proven wrong."  Why do I love him-he was charismatic-the center of attention.  Very demanding of attention.  He talked and we all listened.  He was great at affection-too-very motivated almost every day of marriage for 8 months.  Never met anyone who wanted it more.  Another signof bi-polar-over sexed.  Anyway, the biggest problem is he abandoned me, my kids, his cat and I can't find him to serve him the divorce papers.  He said "I could file the divorce," but then has refused service so far.  I'm guessing we should post service in the newspaper over awhile if we can't serve him in person, which we can't.  Then will he ever come to the trial?  HE threatened that if I went to trial he "wouldn't owe me anything morally or legally."  He told me "I'd be his enemy."  He since has emailed me that "He loves me."  But it's love/hate every other day-the whole marriage and now divorce, too.  I have always loved and will continue to love as that's the right thing.  But I want to start and finish this divorce so me and my kids can have a life.  Anyway, what to do?  How do I divorce a bi-polar that abandon's me when you can't find him?  And will he continue to abandon us?  Or will he come back?  He didn't want to spend a penny on me or my kids-really!!  That's a reason he left.  He wanted me to support him and when I couldn't do it all-he left.  He wanted to keep the whole $600,000 and now doesn't even want to spend any of it on the divorce.  I think he thinks that if he's illusive he won't have to pay for a divorce either-just abandon and then he'd have to stay married but be away somewhere.  Anyway, it's irraitional, but he may think it works.  Do bipolar's do that sort of thing?  Or will he come back and try to finish the divorce.  So far he's refused service.  If he didn't show up at the trial-then I would receive all our money accounts.  He wants his possessions he left at my home/but doesn't want to negotiate to get anything back.  He said he'd get them in March.  Now he said to a friend-who doesn't know where he is either-that he's "maybe" going to try to get his things in April.  I've seen him ignore obligations before and do nothing where he lost out.  I wonder if he will ignore his marital /divorce obligations enough to think that "he just never will do a thing about it/abandonment.  What should I do to come out ok?  Me and my kids need money.  He took it all.  Only at the trial can I get any of the marital money I need to keep our home.  Presently, there's no support money for me/kids or his cat.  Help????????