Isn't mania supposed to feel "great", like you're on top of the world? Not to me!

Sounds as if your MH people are having a problem.  I think that a person is a complex and constantly changing, growing being.  Naming sometimes just isn't possible.  Insurance companies need a disease name and medical protocol calls for a diagnosis but is the title necessary for you? 

More from Connie.  When I began taking lithium it took a couple of years to get the right dose but it worked for me for a long time.  The key was being sure to take it at the same times every day and to not miss a dose.  Even one dose missed could cause a mood swing.  A few years ago I started three new medicines to take the place of lithium and the new products are better since I feel much less "damped down". The new med combination is Lamictal, Seroquel and Lorazepam but I still have to be sure to follow the schedule. 

If a person can be consistent in his/her behavior, it's easier for the doctors to help you out of this "other world" of misunderstanding, aloneness, pain, sleeplessness, and frustration.  To be bi-polar is to be inconsistent; tough people to treat.  Keep trying, Scott.  I promise you'll feel better one of these days.

Hi, Scott. I don't know if this applies to you or not, but see how this resonates with you:

We think of mania as euphoric, but what they call "mixed states" are more common. It is possible to have depression in mania and mania in depression. Maybe a little bit, maybe a lot. You are literally up and down at the same time. These are your highly agitated "road rage" cases.

I know. I experience these states. These days, they are fairly minor, but 20 years ago they rendered me unemployable.

In my case, my euphoric high turned on me. I became "dysphoric." Not good. A mood stabilizer helps. So do recovery tools such as stress reduction. It's a constant battle, but one you can win.

True mania or mixed state do not feel great but hypo mania does feel excellent to me & has gotten me into a lot of trouble because I will stay in it for months & not tell my meds provider & sleep only 2-3 hours a night, have tons of energy, feel excited, have physical rushes of adrenaline, join every group & quickly rise to the top of the organization as I become so creative & expressive (I'm normally shy & rather withdrawn)...it is like being on a "feel good" drug & when you have spent as much time depressed & suicidal as I have it is hard to give up, but so far at the end of my 5-month hypo manias I've overdosed so I guess I just can't risk it.

I have to agree with Suzanne.  You fly high and then your too high.  As you say, any stimulus is too much.  When I got to that point, I would go into my bedroom, turn out all the lights, pull the curtains closed, crawl into bed and draw my blankets over my head.  Eventually, I would fall asleep.  When I woke up, I would be less "sensitive".

Hi Scott, From my experience, Highs like everything else is percipitated by mood, My partner has BiPolar and I've managed to learn some of this exact problem. Every time he goes into a high, I can tell because, even though he dosen't say what exactly is wrong, he will start yelling at me for everything, (which for some reason is either about one of 3 general subjects) And it is never "talking" it is always screaming, And it is either one moment God will damn me into the firery pits of hell followed by jokes and "hug alerts" 15-30 minutes later followed again by being compared to the likes of Adolf Hitler or Charles Mansion because I bought gas for the car with a credit card on October 28th 2005.(for example) Sorry for rambling like that, I do realize with anxiety comes highs and like everything else that has to do with the human body, each person is affected differently. From my observation of my partner, I see that this can be a very scary experience. This is where my problem comes in, I've had to deal with this for the last 8 & 1/2 years, and I'm coming to the end of my rope, so to speak, I digress,though this is about you and your issue. Mania is more about a period of high excitement and energy, and as I said before, each person handles it differently, If i were in your predicament, I would let my MH people know what is going on when these episodes occour and tell them everything involved. I know that this is coming from someone who is "outside-loking-in" but like with my partner, you may not realize all that can be going on around you at times,this is why chronicling your day is so important, which I DO realize cannot be helped sometimes. I hope this helps you my friend, I wish you comfort and peace Scott,- Randy.....

I always have two states of mania - the first one occurs before my period every month and I am irriated like you couldn't believe. I can't stand the sound of the birds outside my window (which I usually enjoy). I cant stand my kids (which I also, usually enjoy) and I feel like a psychopath. I have never actually hurt anyone except myself, and that's usually because I'm raging at some inanimate object, like a door that bounces back and hits me square on the head. Luckily for me, I have a very disturbing sense of humor, so usually once I get swatten upside the head by a door, or have a cupboard full of Tupperware fall down on me, I usually see the complete absurdity of the situation and start laughing. Either of these things scare my poor children, however. I think this is mostly a mixed state. Once that wears off (it lasts only a few days) then I have a terrible panic attack day, then about 1-2 wish-I-was-never-born days, then I usually am off my period and then I have the typical "hypomania" phase where I feel absolutely great.

I realize from talking to people on these blogs and seeing my shrink-ee-dink that I don't have the symptoms quite as bad as other's do, but try convincing me of that when I'm irritated and I might bite your head off and chew on it awhile. Anyway, after my third child was born and my body was first introduced to male-producing hormones, I went crazy. I know the Good Lord would never deliberately cause this kind of pain, so I think it's an effect of our sinful nature, but I do think the Lord wants to bless me and wants me to use my experiences to help someone else. I really haven't figured out a good way to that just yet, except share my experiences so more people out there know they are not alone. Hang in there! Ya never know what tomorrow might bring and what mood it will bring with it!