Thanks for your reply. I seem to be able to find jobs quite easily and to a degree hold them. The only job I've really stuck at was for just over a year as an estate agent. The obsessions are giving me trust issues with everyone, I feel like everyone is going to leave me all the time, whether its a friend, boyfriend or family member. The downs make me suicidal, but I seem to cope with the highs. I lose interest in things easily if I haven't got an obsession with them. I seem to have no constants. I seem to be ok a good 80% of the time and I want to fix myself, which I think is the most important thing. It's the 20% I can't cope with. My lows are so extreme that I can't listen to anyone or anything. I'm completely unreasonable. It's like doing a sum of 1 + 1 but in my head I get 5!! I panic desperately and get completely tensed up. It's almost as if there is a person in side of me dying to get out. In contrast though I can have solemn lows where I just cannot be bothered with anything, I don't sleep, I don't eat, I don't even go out of the house sometimes. I went to the Drs today and she gave me 2 website links to help me. That was it. There's an in house counsellor I can see once every 3 months and I don't like seeing her. Other than that I can go back onto anti-depressants. I know I will get better if I can stay in this state. I'm scared that sooner or later I am going to hit another low and I'm going to do something stupid.