I am a 54 year old woman writing about my brother who I suspect may be bipolar. He is 51 years old, a large man, large frame and VERY intimidating. As a kid he never stopped, he was ALWAYS doing or into something! My parents, who are now in their 70's had no idea what to do with him years ago, there was no ridalin then. Mom used to say, "That kid can scale a glass wall!" My brother has been in trouble most of his adult life, not for burglaries or anything to hurt people, (Other than feelings) But driving without a drivers license, no insurance, dabbling in drugs, wanting to end his life. He doesn't participate in any family function, nor has he been to any family furnerals. No matter who it is. He has 3 children, who are now adults, but he is divorced from their mother because she couldn't take the fact he wanted total control over her. He moved back into my parents home with intentions of taking care of them. Mom just had a mastectomy, and Dad has a rare form of Leukemia. The problem now is, he does not get along with any of the syblings and intimidates them when they are there by slaming things around and giving dirty looks. He tells stories he remembers from our childhood that I know did not happen. Now my brothers and sisters do not want to visit my parents and give my parents an ultimatum. "Send him on his way or we won't be back!" This is causing serious problems and complete chaos. Any suggestions? I truly believe he is bi polar, or has some other mental issue. HELP if you can!!
Q: Family Dynamics Shot, Six Syblings against one. Sad!
What do your parents think about this? If he is so intimidating and not wanting anyone around... are you sure he is treating your parents well? Could he be bullying them to change a will, or pay his bills? Perhaps you could take your Mom out to eat and talk to her away from your brother? Or would it be possible to have kind of an 'intervention' to let him know you are all worried about him and think he needs help? Or would he take that to badly?
Please don't get offended if you don't think any of that is possible, just my humble ramblings :P Best of luck to you.
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Thank you for posting a response, but just to let you know, I have spoken to my parents about the situation. They confirmed that they ARE NOT afraid of my brother, and they ARE paying his bills. Their reasoning is that everyone needs help now and then and he is their son with no where to go other than come home. Mom assured me he will never live under a bridge somewhere. Brother was supported for 2 years a few years back while he was doing crack cocaine, and living in one of my parents rental homes, taking advantage of free rent, electricity, water and even free meals when there wasn't anything to eat. Today he isn't on drugs and got away from the crowd he did them with when he came back home to my parents. I will need to find the most gentle way possible to talk to him about this problem and I know it will be me that talks to him as none of the other syblings speak to him, nor would he speak to them. Keep your fingers crossed for me as I attempt a hair raising adventure for sure, I am now in the process of finding a support group in my area that might have some answers as well. Thank you VERY VERY much for your input!