Misdiagnosis...my Docs say one thing then another....
Hi, I posted this as a share post but thought i'd put it to you all as a question as well...It's not short but then again the situation is not clear....
Would really appreciate any assistance you guys can give me. I live in a state of hypomania most of the time - over confident, start new things and never finish them, ideas all over the place, work so productively have manager calling me "amazing", scream and shout at my child when something in her homework is not quite right (she's only 10) and then spend the rest of the night apologising. Then, occasionally, down I go like a rocket - sometimes connected to events in my life, sometimes not connected to anything. Then I try to "work through it" until I get to the point where I don't want to leave the house, talk to people, don't want to see my hubby or child unless I get angry for no reason, hide under a rock. That's when I end up booking an emergency appointment with my GP or P-Doc, and the latest (after postnatal depression have been on anti-depressants for YEARS having incredible reaction from the jitters to psychosis but they just kept trying one after another) doctor says its just (Just!) borderline personality disorder and that it's all to do with situations of childhood neglect (adopted mum's an alcoholic who I still love dearly - great when she's straight) and that meds are just not going to work. I am a bit culpable as I tend to take a mood stabiliser for a week or 2 then the side effect of not being hypomanic (which i'm only now starting to understand) makes me come off them. So Docs sayno way no meds will help except a little seroquel at night which bombs me out. I know I am very sensitive to meds but I don't think that it's all to do with my childhood and although i'm totally open to CBT and MBCBT (done both and found helpful, specially in dealing with Mum) I can't control this sometimes - I just can't. I'm not being wilful or recalcitrant (that's how my doc made me feel this afternoon) I am really really down. I have lost confidence, I can't believe it when others say they have confidence in me, I fell like a bad wife and mother, I have no appetite, I can't sleep properly - seems to be pushing through the seroquel, I feel like a failure and an idiot cause I can't just pull myself together and get to work. I agree I may have some personality disorder but that does not explain these highs and lows. I feel lost. My P-doc and my GP don't want to know, it's hard to find another p-doc as they have all closed their books and I feel so down and everything is so bleak - even taking a shower is so much effort.
What is wrong with me - am I doing this to myself?? I just can't believe that. Last year they said Bipolar, now they say personality disorder, and i'm lost somewhere in the middle with no help.
NK
Hi, I know how you feel. I was diagnosed in 1990 as Bipolar but through changes in my HMO my fourth Pdoc said I am just clinically depressed with general anxiety disorder. I have been on Nortiptyline and Celexa for this diagnosis. Then I told my current Pdoc that I was asked for a couple of years if I would like to try Lithium. I was having my second child so no I did not take that. I recently found out that Cymbalta helps depression and diabetes. I asked my Pdoc to prescribe it and would I run the risk of a hypomanic episode. He said no since I am not Biplar. Welllll one day I got home from work and went into a hypomanic episode. My husband said I screamed at the top of my lungs and then started crying and crying and said I wanted to die. I then wrote a letter to my Pdoc & faxed it to him. The next day I got a message that my Pdoc had a prescription for Lamictal for Bipolar. I have just finished my triation to 100 mg once a day. I am much happier, I am sleeping better and I have not had another hypomanic or depressed episode since I've been on the new med. I found out about medication options for Bipolar from this website.
Hope this helps and wish you good luck in finding the correction medication or combination that works for you.
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I actually had to convince my doctors of what I believe is my correct diagnosis. I am fortunate to live in a university town, one that has a counseling clinic and everything so they have research and such available in the campus library. I checked several books out and came to my own decisions. I think I was diagnosed borderline personality disorder for quite a long time before I convinced them that yes, I indeed have bipolar disorder as well.
The two disorders seem very similar in their definitions to me. I don't know if this helps any, but here is a link to a website. At the very bottom of it it has links to what the author feels are good definitions of the two different disorders. Good luck! http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/
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Hi, Narelle. We all have personality issues. And with all of us, our personality issues get in the way of our treatment. Unfortunately, pdocs don't realize that by failing to treat what is getting in the way of our treatment, they are not treating us, if you get the drift. That means we have to figure out our own personality issues ourselves and figure out how to handle them.
Pdocs hate dealing with patients they suspect may have borderline personality disorder. Often, they will apply this label to patients they simply don't like, especially if the patient is assertive, then shun them.
On the other hand, pdocs often have to deal with patients who take no responsibility, who blame others, and show no good faith in sticking to a treatment plan.
You sound like you are at wit's end. For the time being, you might want to get back on your meds - even if you feel they are robbing you of your natural personality - just to settle your brain down so you can take stock. Once you start to take stock, I am sure more options will present themselves. Then you can come back here and discuss them with us.
I'm not sure if this helps, but please feelfree toget back to us -
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