Dear John,

     It was so nice to see your response.  I value your opinion immensely! I am currently on Celexa, Neurontin, Nortriptylin and Trazadone.  I have been taking everything religiously except for the Nortriptylin.  Something has caused me to have bad panick attacks, heart palpitations, pounding in my ears and a great desire for sweets...not too worried about the sweets.  I am a very nervous person by nature and a huge worrier....I have been feeling more nervous since not taking Nortriptlin..I'm also weening off of Ativan..I'm recently divorced after being married 17 years.  NO grieving there, we have been apart for 3 years..(alcoholism, domestic violence, etc)  I now am a single parent with a daughter who is very smart and beautiful, but our relationship is Very Strained..She calls me Bipolar, brain dead, (in so many words) psycho, bitch, etc, etc...I have been negative for 2 years..memory loss, loss of identity, bad concentration, etc...How long will it take for me to change all of this...I don't want to lose a very special man who has been patient through my depression, just loving me and supporting me.(mentally)  Oh, John , I'm afraid I will never get through all this.  How do I start feeling good about me..I need to grow up and change my way of thinking...scared and feeling like a child.... Thanks, for listening..Theresa

Hi,

     It's been awhile since I've been on here.  Still suffering with anxiety.  I have convinced myself at times that I am not good at anything.  I have worn my family out.  I was doing ok...I recently went on Wellbutrin and it is making me very loopy...I am taking neurontin, buspar and ativan....I am addicted to the Ativan and I believe it has caused me to have memory problems....I am financially strained so it is hard for me to go and do things, although I prefer to stay home at times........I feel better of course when I'm out..I don't have any close friends, if it wasn't for my 73 year old mom and my stepfather who is 50something I would go crazy...I got a book by Dr. David Burns, When Panic Attacks. Is it possible that people can't take antidepressants?  Is it possible that people are misdiagnosed?  I know that it is possible to convince yourself that you are not worthy...Why does the mind do these things...I do fight it!  I don't want to die..I'm lonely, I have a 17 year old daughter that can't stand to look at me, really...I was a productive member of this world...nothing fantastic, but good enough..wife, mother, had a job, etc...good news is I'm starting College in January.  I am scared though.  I've been tested and did ok on the Compass Test.  Actually, she said I had some of the highest scores.  I took a Vocational Test the other day, the tester (is that what you call him?)  made me uncomfortable.  Anyway, I just needed someone to talk to.  Thanx for listening.  I pray I make it through this.  Take Care, Tedesa