I am having difficulty tolerating meds to treat Bipolar II and wondered if others have similar issues.  I can't seem to find any other posts anywhere addressing this.  I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II.  I'd never heard of it and the whole Bipolar label kind of freaked me out.  But then I did a little research, and man, it fits me to a t.  Now I honestly just feel relieved to get a diagnosis that might actually be successfully treated.  I have been treated for depression for years, but have just never gotten a handle on it.

Here is my problem.  My doctor started me on Lamitctal and it was absolutely amazing how much it leveled me out.  I was just ecstatic.  But then about 6 weeks in, I developed the lovely Lamictal rash, so although it appears to be the perfect med for me, I cannot take it.  Next I tried Abilify, and before I even ramped up to a minimum dose I was awake 24 hours a day and just felt jumpy all the time.  I stuck it out for several weeks to see if it got better but it didn't.  I had trouble sitting down to read and literally could not sleep without a sleeping pill.

So then we moved on to Geodon, which was the worst thing I've ever been through EVER.  It was a horrific first day - I was completely non functional and sick.  My doctor said to try to give it a week or two and it would probably get better as I adapted.  But it just stayed that bad.  By day 7 I was considering whether or not to go to the ER because I couldn't breathe or sleep, I was jumping out of my skin.  My heart was pounding so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack.  So that was it for Geodon.  Even if you told me that on day 10 it would be the best thing ever, you could not make me go through another day of that again.

I understand that not everyone has such severe reactions and that it takes a few tries to find the right fit with meds, but I was so thoroughly traumatized this last bout that I cannot make myself try anything else.  The Geodon incident made me want to die.  I physically could not bear the side effects.  I have school age children and I simply can't be incapacitated that way.  I really would love to be able to manage/prevent the depressive episodes better, but the extreme side effects on a daily basis seem worse than dealing with the periodic symptoms of my illness.

My twin sister recently got the same diagnosis and she is having similar reactions to trying mood stablizers, etc... We both really are open to taking something, but we can't seem to tolerate anything.  (She also got the rash from Lamictal.)  And from the research I've done, it sounds like most of the meds, aside from possibly Lamictal, have even worse side effects.  It has been very depressing to finally find out what's wrong and then find that we can do nothing about it.

I've been taking anti-depressants for years.  (First Paxil, then Celexa, then Zoloft, now Wellbutrin.)  When I've tried to get off, I seem somewhat worse, so I think it is helping some.  But it doesn't help much.  And now I'm reading that anti-depressants sometimes actually make Bipolar II symptoms worse.  So should I just take nothing?

I am so frustrated and feel so hopeless.  Does anyone have similar issues, or advice?