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Saturday, June 06, 2009 idontknowwhattodoanymore, Community Member, asks

Q: what do you do if you living with an angry bipolar/suicidal bipolar and threatening?

what do you do if you are not bipolar but dealing with an angry, unemployed, suicidal bipolar that lives with you and threatening you now?


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Answers (3)
John McManamy, Health Guide
6/ 9/09 3:24am

Hi, Idon'tknow. The advice above that your first priority is to protect yourself is spot on. Unless you are able to calm this person down, you are in no position to help. You may be able to call 911 and get the police to take him to the hospital on the pretext that he is a threat to himself or to you, but chances are he will present a totally different face to the police when they arrive. And then you will have to contend with his resentment after they leave.


If you can calm him down, you might be in a position to offer to drive him to the emergency room, but it is advisable to enlist a friend or family member in the effort.


This must be extremely distressing for you. But do keep in mind - you need to look after yourself first. Hope this helps -

idontknowwhattodoanymore, Community Member
6/19/09 11:36pm

It helps.  Some, but part of the problem is his family/friends.  I call his family to say hey you guys need to call more.  they call pretty seldom.   I call them and ask for help and they say...  I dont know what to do and pretty much dont want to bother.  It is my belief that they are actually a large part of where his issues all started.   We arent married.   He does take his meds.   Sometimes I wonder if he needs more or a different combo since he seems to be more of a rapid cycler. He is very smart.  He likes his anger, before the meds he said it gave him incredible power.   You are right about him giving people a different face where there are issues and then resenting me when facing others.  Sometimes he trys to say it is my fault.  Recently there have been a few situations where he cant blame them on me, but didnt take them out on me, luckily.  Sometimes i can calm him down, just by leaving him alone.  I ask why he would want to threaten and take stuff out on me when i have been there and helped him out he says he doesnt know... something is wrong with his head... so there are clearly times where he does know.   It is very distressing!  I know this is a free country, but sure wish there was a way to get people help when they need it, before it is too late.   Then again it isnt like you can give him a blood test or any other test and bing know what it is and how to treat it either.  Just sux.

pxm3965, Community Member
6/22/09 1:46am

Wow, he sounds like my fiancee.  However, my fiancee will NOT take meds total ndenial.  He is very  scary when manic, attempted suicide multiple times, institutionalized 2 times that i know of.  One time they surrounded our house mand took him away for the weekend.  He was diagnosed Hypomania in 04, then when they took him this past summer while threatening to blow his head off with a gun, "HE" told me they said he was just having a bad day and nothing was wrong with him.  But as you know they lie, they are award winning manipulators.  I have to stay  one step ahead of him.  I even left MY own house and moved to another Hawaii to work and so did my kids to get away from him.  Now I have to go bacfk because it is MY house and responsibilitys.  I have caught him in so many lies, but then there is the side I love of course.  Sometimes I think I am the one with the illness.  He has been married 3 times, lost everything including the love of his children cares about only himself and talks to me like crap 80% of the time, everything is my fault i and he says I am the selfish one.  I have put  a business in my name for him, he is living in my house, I traded in my vehicle for the hummer he had to have, he has not paid taxes in 10 years and does not even collect a paycheck from the company he just withdrawls cash as needed.  I used the company debit card ONE time here in HI for gas and he called it in as lost or stolen just to be an ahole when he  knew I used it.  It is all about control for him he makes "his" money but the business is in my name.  I cannot write a check without asking him, I cannot even answer the company phone.  It is completelythe definition of insaniy I do not even know why I stay even his family wants me to leave him, everyone does but I love the good him.  I have to take xanex and wellbutrin just to be with him but I wish I had the courage to just leave him but I do not

NewBride, Community Member
7/ 6/09 9:25pm

Wow.  Look, I used to believe that love conquers all, but is this how you imagined living your life like?  I went thru it with my BP ex, and i'm telling you first hand, getting married won't solve it!  I am 100% happier without my ex - without him taking his mind trips out on me, without his lies and denial, without his yelling, me walking on eggshells ALL the time, the emotional abuse and sometimes physical, the spending.... and by the way you described your relationship, take it from me that you might want to revaluate it before you take the plunge. 


Why don't you have the courage?  You said it RIGHT HERE that you want to leave yet you take drugs in order to stand the pain you are in?  YOU ARE NOT TRAPPED.  I got out.  Please get some support and strength from your familly.  They are obviously worried about you as well!  If you don't want this anymore you CAN GET OUT!!!!!!!


cheesecakechick, Community Member
7/ 7/09 10:36am

that is very confusing!!!

I mean, i threat my boyfriend a lilte and it is good  if he just leaves me alone for a while.

You know, being bipolar doesnt cover all our atitudes, i do wrong things that are not symptoms of nothing, its just me...

we not that bad!!!

redmama08, Community Member
4/26/11 5:17pm

actually what u r doing is wrong, u r abusing ur boyfrien, and yes it is the way u are and u like that, thats fine, but hurting someone else is not ur rite and u do have a disease that can be treated if u wanted, just some advise

nonethewiser, Community Member
6/ 7/09 1:33am

The first thing you need to do is protect yourself.  This is the the time to walk away.  Especially if they are not willing to get help for themselves.  There isn't anything you can do for this person.  The number one rule is to take care of yourself first.  Don't take the chance of something happening to you.  No relationship is worth the cost of your life.

idontknowwhattodoanymore, Community Member
6/ 7/09 2:05pm

so......... are there things the bipolar can do to get help?   with/without having $$$?

nonethewiser, Community Member
6/ 7/09 4:30pm

Contact your local mental health services.  Look in your phone book under the yellow pages.  If you choose to get help at your local hospital, they can not turn you away because you can't pay.  It's important to be on med's.  Good luck to both of you.  But don't risk your life.

dark angel, Community Member
6/17/09 12:31pm

i know this will sound demeaning but try reading kay redfield jamison's book--"when night falls fast"--understanding suicide.  it will help

and most of all the bipolar need a hosptal or crisis center

so read while she/he is in the hospital

peace be with you


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By idontknowwhattodoanymore, Community Member— Last Modified: 10/26/11, First Published: 06/06/09