My Journey with My husband has been 17 years. Within days of getting married I new something was wrong.  It started with depression and yet there were days we could lasso the moon.  He was very verbally abusive and very good at missplacing everything that he does on me.  Yet, I could see that good man in there.  he threatened to leave many times the first few years. In 2001 he was offically diagnosied with Bipolar disorder with Alcholic dependency.  I have refianced homes to consoildate debt. Sold homes to get out of debt..only to turn around anf find more debt. This Past March..I was to tired to worn out. And started going to the Alanon program. My husband who swore he would never stop drinking jumped on the AA wagon. Much to my surprize. BUT, the soberiety made him manic.  He has worked out of town for many years now and that saved the kids from seeing to much.  But he came home for a visit.  and the Grandiosity in him was something. God, was showing him things, god was telling him things. Found out later he had a key logger on my computer and a GPS unit in my car.  I desperatley needed a break from the world of bipolar and since he could never put me first. wanted to concentrate on me.  But, he was convinced I was having an affair. he went as far as the aboe things and then also went to a place in the woods were I write music..there he saw tire tracks and investigated the spot and swore I had sex there with someone.  Days later all hell broke loose.. the verbal ugly was something. he accused me of being unfaithfull with many men. Something that is completley false.  He shut down all the money and I had no choice but to move out of our home and into a rental. Finally I had no option left but to file for divorce.  During this process I have learend my husband made more money then I new.  I have struggled for years to make ends meet...after bills I had approx $150 left for groceries and all else every month.  My husband spent $2000-3,000 on just groceries and restuarants and yes bars in the past few years.  he is still lost.  he believe God has a different purpose for him. That he lvoed his family but God called him somewhere else. he had a Girlfriend 7 weeks after he shut down the money. Nothing has been resolved yet divorce wise and no maitence money. He believes I deserve nothing for I have done all this to him. The truth is, everything he is accusing me off..is everything he has done.  I know in some ways by not facing himself..he can missplace the blame on me and stay in thaty hypomanic, manic state.  If he faces himself and realizes what he has done...it will bring him down like no tommorow.  I have always been kind, respectfull and compassionate towards him. No matter what he did.  How do I get a safety net in place.  he cant be in denial forever. he was on medication in 2003 and 2004 for approx 8 months. But it was just a reg MD and it was effexor. he went manic and was also drinking with the meds. I had to get the kids and I away from him. Then he was put on a anitsychotic med that turned him into a walking zoombie. he was just going to a MD. that last 6 months and then NOTHING. he refuses to face this. I tried to get thru to him that being sober had made him manic. Of course he laughed.  Now we are getting divorced and he left me with all his debt. he just walked away. But my concern is for his safety when reality once more HITS him.  I have been a loving partner and care-giver all these years. What happens when that sinks in! how do I get a safety net in place?