Hi, Rachel. I am guessing that if your husband feels that he is beyond help that he is undergoing a major depression. One of the hallmarks of depression is that our brains tend to filter out all positive information and give undue weight to all the negative stuff. So anything sunnyside up from you may as well be in Chinese.

For the time being, it may be best to acknowledge his misery, and that it is perfectly normal for him to think and feel the way he is - after all were he to react positively he wouldn't have a depression.

Let him know you and the family are in his corner. Trust me, this is an enormous benefit to him, even if he doesn't show it. Let him know it's one day at a time right now, that his only job right now is remembering to breathe. When his depression lifts a bit, you will have more to work with. But when your husband feels "beyond help." as you describe it, literally that is how he feels and there is no way you can talk him out of it.

I know this is extremely tough for you and your family, and the stress can have a very bad impact on all of you, so please do whatever you can to take care of yourself and your family and feel free to reach out to those close to you. Hope this helps -