We are newly weds, been married about 5 months. I had no idea that he was bi-polar before we got married. A week into our marriage he had an episode where he was totally depressed. He talked about wanting to kill himself. The past 5 months have been like a roller coaster from hell. We've had our great moments, but for the most part in the back of my mind was "When will the explosion come again?". I also found out that he was abusing narcotics, I believe he was self medicating. He has been mixing narcotics with alcohol and xanax...a recipe for respitory depression. The narcotics only make him even more paranoid and his moods more volatile. He did go see a psychiatrist..but he wasn't honest. The doctor made no difference because he hasn't been able to get him on the right medications. I have been walking on eggshells, afraid that something I say or do might trigger him. I've been going insane. I have a 5 year old son..his step son. He has always treated him extremely well. He has been an awesome stepfather. But on sunday, something completely triggered him to go into a manic state. He believes I was chatting it up with a guy and cheating on him. When in reality my friend was giving me some websites that might help my situation (like this one). I got scared and deleted the conversation, afraid of how he might react to me talking to another man about his condition. He has been in a manic state ever since sunday. He started using my son passively to get back at me, it breaks my heart to say. Yesterday, my husband threw out all of my sons lunch food for school in the trash can and put an empty lunchbox in his backpack. He refused to give him breakfast and send him to school to be hungry all day until I pick him up at 6pm (I leave for work before they wake up--but I leave theyre breakfast and lunches ready). It broke my heart. But I realize that he must be in a total manic state because his actions are erractical. He left last night after I confronted him about my son's lunch. At first he looked puzzled and looked me straight in the eyes..and told me he would never do something like that. So I got him to admit that he didn't remember. I left for about 15mins with my son, only to come back to an empty home. He left. I got a message from him saying that he remembers doing it..and he did it because my son is a brat (which he's really not) and im a cheater. Both those statements are insane. Anyway, he left last night..said he was done and that this wasnt his life. I haven't heard from him since then. I spoke with his father..which told me that he was afraid that he would have another episode like this. He told me that he has been trying to get him to get help since he was a teenager but my husband has always refused. His father also told me that he thought my son and I were in danger and needed to get out. I'm terrified. I think I'm going to get deadbolts for the doors..But I'm terrified for my husband. I know that he is sick and I can't just abandon him. I'm afraid that he is going to try to self medicate and go into a respitory depression..or his heart is going to give out. What can I do? I did call his psychaitrist this morning because I believe he has to know what is going on. His psychiatrist told me that if I believed he was in danger of hurting himself or others I should call a mental health facility. They would come and have him evaluated. I'm scared to do that. He will go crazy..he is denying that he has bi-polar. Could calling the mental health facility makes things worse (if thats possible) if my husband is in denial and does not want help?