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Thank you so much for sharing this!  It makes me feel like I have a sliver of hope; that just because he has "run away" doesn't mean his feelings have changed.  Though it is so hard to tell.  I finally reached him by phone last night (after three months of nothing). He said he didn't feel comfortable on the phone, it gave him anxiety.  He said he prefers to write to me, that he's been meaning to, but he still doesn't know what to say.  He doesn't know how to explain what's been happening.  It's overwhelming for him to even start the communication.  I tried to keep him on the phone, to gently communicate, but he wanted me to call back later.  Of course when I called back 5 hours later, he didn't answer.  It's SO difficult!     I think he is like you in the way that he doesn't want me to see his bad side.  But I do want to see it.  I want to know all about it.  I expect your partner does, too.