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Oh, that's EXACTLY how I feel!  How do I know what's real? How do I get back into his life? Do I give up or keep hoping? I've decided that nothing can happen without treatment.  It's impossible after all without that.     I'm not an expert whatsoever, but I've read a lot about this recently.  From what I've read, in your situation, you should NOT give him space.  You should go visit and just hang out, but not talk.  When he "needs his space" it means he can't cope with a relationship or anything.  But if you are not around, he may forget about you (That was the worst thing that I read). The recommendation was to hang out, bring a book or something quiet to work on, and just be there.  His mind might be doing the rapid cycling thing, plus the depression and pessimism.  So he can't really think clearly and is very frustrated.  As far as the breakup, it may or may not be what he really wants. You should calmly, simply state that you are not giving up on him, and that if he really does want to break up, you need him to wait till he's in a better mood, making more rational decisions and truly able to realize what he's giving up.  that would justify you still being in his life or being his friend until he feels better. He probably has high anxiety and cannot even talk on the phone. A good excuse to visit is to bring over a simple amount of food, and don't expect much.  Give him a quick hug, hang out for a bit, and that's it.  Don't expect affection or explanation when he's feeling bad.  You have to take the risk, the long drive, and just show up.  Otherwise he'll tell you, no, don't come over.  You have to be persistent.  But then again, you don't want to cross the line into "stalker."  It's weird because this is a different type of psychology we're dealing with.  It's frustrating, the fine line between the two.  But I say try it! don't give up yet.  Take risks.  See what happens.   In my situation it's different because i live in another country. Or else I would have done all those things.  I went to visit twice, as we had talked about when we were "happy" together.  But he didn't even want to see me.  I travelled all that way for nothing.  I just have to hope that he gets help and one day contacts me again.  But that's a long shot.   Also contact his family or friends to check on him, and for support.  I could not do that because of the distance and the language barriers.