we can be fine for days at a time but then he gets upset over the smallest things. He always accuses me of flirting with other people that im friends with. i feel like i can't even talk to them anymore, because he will be mad. he is also very sensitive when it comes to people touching my belly, even though they are girls. i don't know how to deal with this right now. its hard enough to balance my own emotions. i'm trying to help the best i can but i feel so alone even when hes here.
Hi, Ashley. I second Babalu, with this to add: If your husband THINKS he has bipolar, two things can be happening: 1) He is taking responsibility for his behavior, in which case he better be seeking clinical attention right now or he has no credibility with you; 2) He is blaming a convenient illness for his behavior, which means he is denying responsibility and has no intention of changing.
You need to find out one or the other right now.
There are many here vastly more knowledgeable about this illness and how to spot it, but I am troubled some what when I read that your husband 'thinks he is bipolar'. I wouldn't even trust someone who has been bipolar longer than I've been alive to diagnose me, that is simply for a professional to do. I had a brief foray into psychology at school, and one thing I've learned that it's natural for many people who begin studying it to diagnose themselves early on with any illness or disorder they read about that might hit home just a little. It's like being a hypochondriac, but with mental illness and disorders we all tend to possess this quality. I'm still in the process of working out exactly how my condition effects my life, all the while figuring out my meds with my doctors. What you can't do though is feel sorry for yourself, read up on bipolar and convince yourself you are. You begin a self-fulfilling prophecy that leads to much frustration.
If he has been seeking help and bipolar disorder has been mentioned among his doctors then it is much more complicated, and I can only the two of you seeking counseling together. I'm no counselor myself and I don't know all the details so I don't want to be assuming and judgemental, but even if there's a possiblity of bipolar, talking to him about his personal responsibility to seek help for not only himself but the both of you so you are capable of handling the future is crucial. Mulling in self pity when you could be doing something to get better can not be, especially with parenthood approaching. The worst you can do is not vocalize this and carry one as usual.
Hi Ashley,
I am not a doctor or psychologist, but work as a support worker for many people who suffer from bi-polar and like conditions and social disadvantage. The advise I am about to offer is drawn from my expereince and personal research, but is only a suggestion and you should seek professional advice. I support the other 2 points of view you have been offered here and would also like to draw your attention to the correllation between the behaviours you describe in your husband and the typical behaviours of a controlling male partner. These behaviours are common among men who emotionally/and or physically abuse their partners, and they will often blame their partner, other people or factors outside of their control to avoid taking responsibility for such behaviour. This may not be relevant in your situation, however if it is, please seek help. He may well have bipolar which could negate the level of control he has over his emotions, but it does not negate his responsibility to seek clinical help to address the problem.
Good luck - L
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