get me to marry him. I did love him. We enjoyed doing a lot of things together but there would always be something wrong that he would focus in on and he bacame a totally different person. He'd be mean and angry. His mother is paranoid schitzophrenic. Could he be suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness as well? He left because he kept saying I didn't put him first. He based this on the 1 time I went to dinner with my sister and he didn't want me to go. He became very controlling. When I confronted him on his irrational behavior he left. 1 week later he wanted to come back but this was too crazy for me. When he left he took everything that belonged to him and got himself an apartment. He would never go for counseling or testing. I am going to file for divorce next week. I haven't heard from him in 4 months. I'm just wanting some feedback.
Q: my soon to be x-husband left me and my 2 kids after being married for 6 months. He went all out to
Hi, Maria. I think you answered your own question. It really doesn't matter if he has a mental illness - his behavior is irrational to you, which is the only thing that is important.
I've noticed a good many loved ones ask if their significant other has a mental illness. These tend to be wives who have suffered no end of abuse. I get the feeling that they hope someone answers yes.
If the answer is "yes" - I'm guessing on this - then to them a solution presents itself. Put the husband on meds, the abuse stops, and the good times return.
I'm reading a lot more realism into your question, though (keeping in mind that being unrealistic is perfectly normal). People simply do not change their behavior overnight. They haven't made a pill that will turn your insecure controlling husband into a secure loving one. At best, a pill will reign in some of his destructive impulses. So, instead of him flipping out on you, maybe he gives you the silent treatment, instead.
It appears that you have already decided you don't need this craziness in your life. Ending a relationship is always a tough decision, but obviously you have decided to do what is good for you and your two kids. Nevertheless, this is a vulnerable time emotionally for you, so please do not hesitate to reach out to family and friends for support.
My heart goes out to anyone dealing with the disease, but for the spouses who have to deal with their loved ones is even harder. Similar to your story I also love my husband. Through extentive research, I believe he is in fact bi-polar. I have learned only recently that his sister not only admits to the disease, she got help. I understand it runs in families. So, i guess with that said your husband could have something very serious (from his mother I believe you had noted). Your words are very familar to me (he is mean and angry). Those words were what I very first told my mother about my husband. I would ask "why" is he so angry and hateful. It is five years later and I am still asking the same thing. Someone once told me that knows of my situation, they said to me, "do you know the definition of insanity". It is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. With a loved one that has bipolar (untreated especially) you'll never win. I send you my best wishes for your future. My thought is no matter how much I love my husband, I cannot ruin my life if he doesn't at least want to "try" to get help. Again, my wishes for you.
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