So basically part of my question is in my profile, if any one wants to read it.  (if you can call it a question).  Just wondering how to leave my BP wife of 30 years, knowing after trying the whole gambit of treatment options "out there".  My wife is on her 3rd appeal for Social Security Disabilty (for BPD) and even her lawyer has her doubts about it being awarded to her.   My wife has other terrible experiences from her past too, which she is currentlly going to counseling for again, to try to ease her pain a little.  We've spoken of seperation/divorce many times before and its always the same.  She rants and raves, says yes, says no, tells me to get out one day, then the next that she'll never leave me (you probably know the cycle I'm sure).  Trouble is I'm at the end of my rope, (tired of the constant tension and stress, what to say or not to say, what to do or not to do, the ever present negativity that saps my soul and spirit at times) and as I told my wife " we both would be happier living apart, but still seeing each other!  Also, of course I still care deeply about her and her welfare!  She has threatened suicide many times in the past, tried once and I don't want to "send her over the edge"!  Of course I would help her finacially , as much as I could, but she refuses to sell our house, even though we basically live on our credit cards, (which are all, almost at their limit now) after I pay our bills the first of the month). I try to explain to her, eventually its going to come to a head; its going to be either sell our house or lose it, (And I can't sell our house without her signature),  but she won't even discuss the subject anymore. Even my relatives and grown kids have told me to leave, but I can't seem to give myself, that final push to actually leave, not to mention the financial aspect (not being able to afford two different places, like I said we can't even afford our house we're in now and only having one vehicle).  I know, I've heard it man, many times before from other BP websites, support groups, even counselors:  "Commit or Leave", I've found out thats way easier said then done!  Is there anyone "out there"  going through similar experiences (which is a stupid question, as I know for sure there is) or has left your SO of so many years, and how did you finally do it?  Did it trigger your SO to "drastic actions" or did they finally get to accept it?  How do you get over the guilt?  Can you still see your Significant Other while being apart (or won't they even allow that) and remain close and friends?  I know these are hard questions to answer and everyone and every situation is diferent, but I wouldbeing extremely pleased with some positive input.   I know all too well, from being on numerous other " open" BP websites (that I'm sure I've probably offended, but hopefully not triggered) some BPD people on this site.  If I did I'm sorry, (God knows I offend my wife enough as it is).  I don't know if this site edits or deletes parts or all of certain posts, as others do , but if so, so be it.  Maybe the items, I feel most importent to get across, will survive "the chopping block".  But if not I'll understand, I'm used to it, I "censor myself at home" everyday (holding back or not saying something because I know it will only cause more strife!)  why would this site be any different, plus I know all too welll the moderators have to "keep the peace", thats their jobs!  Anyway after all that, I thank you for letting me vent (I feel better) and look forward to any feedback (but please not negative, I hear that everyday).  Thanks for your time!    EGG