I have a fiance that has an ex-wife that is bipolar and they both have a son that is 9yrs old. We have been together for five yrs, and we have a two year old son. She has been torturing us, she gave us their son for week days and she takes him on weekends because she cant keep a job and got into dept, big time. Now she cant afford her own apartment and her son. But she has been doing these crazy things that makes me want to walk out of this relationship because my fiance does nothing about this.She gets very intrusive. she would walk in our home without us being in thier, or she would walk in without knocking first. Their son gets very disrespectful. he is on vyvanse for ADHD. his ex is on lithium. they both stress me out so much that i cant take it sometimes. But i know my fiance needs me here. But this starting to make me feel unhealthy. The question is should i stay and deal with this. Well this all happend to fast for me. i feel like she just got rid of her son and dumped him on me. she pays for nothing for him, and does not see him during the week. So now i have to stay at home to take care of him. All she can do is sit back and tell my fiance we are not doing the job right. omg! i need help! I dont want to separate from my fiance because of his baggage. And i dont want to be the bad person with my step-son. Im pushin the issue to go to court now. Things are getting worst with his ex. But i feel like its takeing a over me because I've been dealing with this for 5yrs, and my fiance does nothing legally because he is afraid that its hurting their son. But i think she has done all of that already. My foot is out the door already, Can somebody please help ASAP! Thanks.
It really sounds like you need to have a long talk with you husband, and then figure out what is best for you, and your son. Does your husband know what bi-polar is, has he looked at the literature? If is ex is going this wild and intrusive, it could be that her meds need adjusting, or that she has other issues. This is your husbands problem (yes I know, helping each other is important, but hear me out) and he needs to stand up to her and face his problems. It sounds like because he is not wanting to hurt his ex, he is hurting you, your son, and his son. So which is more important to him, his ex or his family? He should be putting your family's needs first. Plus, he is basically telling his ex that her behavior is ok by letting her continue to do it. By putting his foot down and putting his family before his ex, maybe he will help to open his eyes to the damage she is doing.
That's just my opinion, from friends handling the same thing. Take what is helpful and leave the rest, I wish you the best of luck!