Hi, Dark Angel. Welcome to a lifelong quest for self-knowledge. The experts attempt to make a distinction between "state" and "trait." A state equates to an illness episode whereas a trait is part of your personality.

For instance: Say you are used to periods of exuberance. Not all the time, perhaps. But regularly enough. And that your exuberance enhances your life rather than is a cause for concern. That is a part of your personality. You're up, you're rational, and YOU are in charge.

Let's ramp it up a bit. Say you experience hypomania. For our purposes, let's define hypomania as over-exuberance. So there is probably downside to this as well as upside. I would contend that for many of us hypomania is a normal part of our personality, but we have to watch ourselves. For others, hypomania is extremely frightening.

The DSM advises it is hypomania when there is "unequivocal change in functioning that is uncharacteristic of the person." In other words, You're up, but you're not necessarily rational, and YOU are not in charge.

Two inviduals who are "up" could be behaving exactly the same. But one is exuberantly rational and in character while the other could be hypomanically irrational and out of character.

Clinicians may have all the expertise, but in the end you are the true judge of yourself. Only you will know who the real you is and who the impostor is. It comes from responsible self-enquiry.

Also keep in mind that there is a thing called a depressive temperament. Again, you need to tease out state vs trait. This also applies to anxiety and other conditions.

For many people, certain parts of our illness form part of what goes into our personality. I feel this way. But for others, bipolar is an interloper that takes over our brains.

Knowing where you stand will help you enormously in your recovery. Many thanks for asking the question.