Its kind of an answer.

Ive seen demons, have had horrible nightmares and have been known to converse with the things I see. This has gone on my whole life.

One of my first memories was of me sitting in a high chair in my baby sitters creepy old house. I bit a large chunk out of the top of my forearm, it was quite gruesome. There are no scars, no one recalls the incident, it never happened. My mind manufactured it but I can still recall the scene in vivid detail.

When I was about 4, I was at my grandmas house lying in a bed in her spare room. At some point during the night my arm fell off the bed and was attacked by what I perceived to be a chicken. Once again, it didn't really happen.

Those are just my sleeping habits. A fraction of what I live while sleeping. My mind never stops racing, never stops thinking.

Around the same time my parents and 3 siblings had spent an afternoon at a good old mid western pig roast. On the way home my brothers were pulling the normal BS of harrassing my sister. We pulled up in the driveway, my parents were the first out of the car and my brothers followed. When Andrea got out of the car a large arm reached out to grab her, there was yelling from under the car and the 2 of us ran away screaming. It was broad daylight, no one was or could have been under that car but to this day we both know what we saw.

My brother and I share a mother, I share a father with my other brother and my sister. Sometimes I would spend the weekend at there moms house with them. One night, Andrea and I went to bed. At some point the book shelve started to shake, the dolls that lined the top shelf glowed, moved and spoke. Years later I examined the dolls. There were no electronic components, no voice boxes and the movement was limited by the joints. We both remember this as clear as day and both agree that what we saw was not possible.

Shortly after that was when I started to see them. Our house was old and was a burnt out shell when we bought it. My dad took care of most of the remodeling but there was only so much he could do with the layout. In order to do laundry you had to go out the front door, down 2 flights of stairs and thourgh a set of double doors. To make it easier on my mom he left a hole for us to throw our laundry into. I started to see this thing in the basement. It stood about 3 ft high, its had deep, dark red eyes, the skin resembled a locus shell and large striaght horns. I spoke to it frequently, occasionally my mom would listen to us talk. I tried to point him out to her but she couldnt see it. Niether of us can recall the details of our conversations but its certianly left me with many questions.

Since then I have found 2 images that depict something similar in buddest culture and one some guy claimed to have seen on a spelunking expidition in the early 1900's. Neither picture had horns.

I have had so many experiences with demons, prophetic dreams, drug induced visions of places and things that dont exsist, even created nightmares for entire households. With others and without. Ive questioned Jung, Nietzsche, Metzgar, Levy, Crowleys cryptic nonesense, the fake esoteric writings of a fictional and obviously mentally retarded Arab. Have spoke to Drs, Decons, supposed spiritual experts and leaders of the new age. I have looked at various scientific and metaphysical disiplines. Interrogated family members, friends and even spoke to some guy who claimed tree people were chasing his car. Ive even scoured the bottoms by watching some really dumb reality shows of people claiming to be paranormal experts.

I know that at the times when my brain is in overdrive Ive had mild siezures but it doesnt explain the rest. I know that there is a scientific explanation to all of it but I have yet to find it and with as much bullshit that runs rampant in the media, drama drivin by less then fulfulling lives, I doubt I will ever know.

Over the years my vision has made me a bit barbaric, hedonistic, twisted, empty. Im coming to terms with that, learning what it means to live in my own shadow. Its not a choice for me, it just is.

My religeon is a by product of my psyche, my psyche is a by product of a complex chemical and physiological evolution. I am not a Dr, I am not a spirtual guru (What a stupid term; guru), Im just a guy. My thoughts after years of experience is that Im hypersensitive to things. My senses pick up frequencies of matter that most cannot. Ive seen it, heard it, even smelled and touched it. I could go on for days.

I think in closing the only thing I KNOW, is that I know nothing. Everyones spirtual path is unique, in the instances when we come face to face with what we percieve to be as god, the devil or strange bouncing bunny creatures that speak gibberish, be prepared for a profound change. The only way you will ever KNOW is to experience it. As far as definitive answers; their are none. 

A Dr can give you a clinical diagnoses, give you drugs that him and his collouges claim will make you better but unless they have experienced and have extensively questioned similar experiences, what answers do you think they can really give you?

I like to think of myself as a rational person, Ive examined the evidence at hand and can say without a shadow of a doubt that I believe in "demons". I believe that they are something seperate from myself and not a by product of my subconscious.

Right Dead Fred

9/25/09 1:30pm

I couldn't find the original articles but I did track down the images.

 

http://liny.csie.nctu.edu.tw/demon.jpg

 

http://www.theforbiddenknowledge.com/hardtruth/demon_large.jpg

 

lithiumqueen

10/19/09 3:11am

Im speechless,we have so much in common. I truley believe we bipolars and schizos have an intament relationship with the other realm,that is the spiritual realm and all its entities.I can also sense evil people and im always right about them,just ask my husband!!!lol If only he would listen to me!!!........Peace.....(peace,is that really a word for the bipolars vocabulary?.....really now? lol

Right Dead Fred

10/19/09 10:38am

I don't know how I feel about the diagnoses because I think you are absolutely right. The question is, what are doctors doing to understand it?

Suicidal Angel

4/15/11 2:47am

I completely agree, and i have had similar experiences like the 3 ft tall demon. I have seen and heard a black skinned demon with red eyes and wings. At first i thought that it was just my imagination but then i kept seeing it every day until i moved. I don't recall what things it said to me, but it was most definetly something from a different dimension.

Suicidal Angel

4/15/11 2:50am

I completely agree, and i have had similar experiences like the 3 ft tall demon. I have seen and heard a black skinned demon with red eyes and wings. At first i thought that it was just my imagination but then i kept seeing it every day until i moved. I don't recall what things it said to me, but it was most definetly something from a different dimension.