My husband graduated from colege two years ago and has a great job. He seems to get along great with the people he works with and contiunues to get raises and is quickly moving up the ladder at work. He was just recently promoted to a supervisor. Is it posible for someone to be able to control their bipolor when they want and at the same time have the rest of there life falling apart. Our marriage is in serious touble, he is distant from his children, and I can't sem to do anything right at all. He is always telling us he needs time alone and then we receive the silent treatment for days and sometimes longer. Please help - I am at my wits end.
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Q: Can a man with bipolor hold down a great job while the rest of his life spirals out of control ?
Answers (5)
10/30/08 5:07pm
no doubt your husband is doin good at work. i am bipolar,
i think he hasnt forgotten about you, he s just using all of his
energy to be a supervisor and not as much at home. its hard for
us bipolars to focus on everything at the same time all at once,
i m sure he loves his family dearly, and when he gets used
to his new position, he ll probably realize. But its not its still
not fair , and i d let him know how you all feel.
10/21/08 2:37pm
Wow you just described my life in complete detail! I just registered to this website cause i found it while searching bipolar treatments cause i am trying to get a doctors appointment. Anyway bout your husband, I have a very good job that also requires a lot of responsibility. I have always excelled very quickly in everything i do just as you have said bout your husband. I too get very distant from my wife and children and give them the silent treatment also yet i don't seem to understand why. The best way i can explain this is if he is like me (which it sounds like he is!) my mind is always racing i am always thinking of something to do or something creative i love to do anything thats involves going fast,building things,and dangerous activities,etc.. I believe especially on days that i work that going from a fast paced activities such as work keeps our mind going and when we get home and our mind is able to slow down we get bored and then i feel drained! I do not sleep well at night or day (shift work) and this also affects how my day might turn out to. But i love my wife and children with all my heart and i try really hard but i can say bipolar disorder is like an evil creature inside that wants to just tear out of you. I take a very small dosage of adderall during the day and zoloft before bed the adderall helps with those days when you just want to lay around and do nothing and the small dosage of zoloft helps alot with outbursts. When my wife does show me that she is trying to understand and still shows me love and affection it really helps. I don't want her to let me just do as i please either because i feel that i need to show some self control. If there is something your husband shows interest in then i suggest you try to show some interests and support him in some hobbies that will occupy his mind. Please know that i have never been a drug addict except cig. and i literally do not drink at all i do spend excessively ( yet i would like to!) but have never had debt issues or even a credit card. I do worry bout money alot and i am a bit controlling at times i like to be organized and a cluttered house and or vehicle can really make things worse. But i love to help out others and i strive to give my family the best i can i am far from perfect and have alot of learning to do but i am sure your husband loves you and your children very much i promise i am not looking for sympathy and i know how hard it must be for you but if you show love and he gets treatment i promise your understanding will not go unnoticed i promise just be patient! I hope this helps!
10/21/08 2:41pm
I ment to put i do not spend excessively
10/22/08 2:17am
My wife came to her witts end a month ago. She is my fourth wife, I don't think I will have a fifth. The weird thing i found with my illness is that I become a different person when I am not around loved ones. I interact with strangers differently than I do the people that actually care for me. I don't know why but I have been promoted several times at every job I have had. I out perform everbody until the shit hits the fan. Same with my marriages. I am every womans dream until the shit hits the fan. Be careful your husband my be on track at work for now but it can come all crashing down. The challanges at work might be a good thing but for me it turns into one huge manic episode until I crash. Then my mania is no longer focused on work I need something different. His attitude towards the family might be a sign of mania, high and unstoppable at work and irritable bastard at home... I have taken almost every drug there is and still no change I am now trying intense phsycotherapy, here is hoping. Your husband still needs your support
1/10/09 7:58pm
Hi Ob1
I am in the same situation but I am the man. I know that it is hard to say but start off with the kids to ask to go bowling, ice skating, buy car or plan models and build them. Boyscouts did not do it for me, too much activity with dads. EXPLAIN to your kids what dad is going through. The phase he is going through is not a good one, I went through the same and quit a high level job to start working for an NGO sent overseas and later after 3 weeks they told me thanks but no thanks.
Dont force yourself but please listen to me somthing I never have had in over 15 years of marriage:
Good Morning Honey, get up with him and have breakfast. Tell him the you will meet him at work for a "love lunch", tell him that you know what he is going through dont try to do thw what can I help you with all you will do is push him away.
My wife told me 2 hours ago, all you want is to see doctors takes pills and make "MY LIFE" miserable. Great to hear and now you can expect the divorce papers.
I went to marriage therapy, great except that after each session my wife would cry and say all you do is say what you have is my fault, no dummy DUH I want you to participate, tell me how we can make this better, after 11 sessions it was over for me.
I am totally focused on my two boys and being unemployed for the time being have time to think up activities to do on the week-ends boys only we love to go to Borders, drink coco, eat a cookie and reads magazines and books for free.
Be soft but keep yourself moving forward, I presume sex is dead, it is with me especially since my wife found a penpal lover overseas oh well, I dont look for action but I am disciplined in taking care of myself and the boys.
Its hard but if you want to make it happen do put your 2 cents every day.
Best
A
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By Ob1— Last Modified: 10/26/11, First Published: 10/20/08
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