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I read that book as well and your right, you don't get the WHY and I don't think you'll ever find it in a book because everyone is different and we may never know the why of our spouse's BP because whenever I ask my husband "why" he usually answers with "I don't know why" so if the person with BP doesn't even know we'll never know. Maybe with more time in therapy my husband will find out the why and share it with me. But in the mean time I just go with the flow. I let him know I'm here for him and tell him to let me know what I can do for him. Not much else we can do as spouses or caregivers.
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