Hey, Cara. I've never met you, so this is impossible to answer factually. But let's make three contrasting assumptions, and you can decide which (if any) fits.

1. Let's assume that people are prejudging you. This often happens when people learn you have a mental illness. Then they try to fit everything they see about you into their stereotype. Thus, they know better. They know everything about you - even though they know nothing - including how you should run your life. This is the kind of stigma we often encounter. I encounter stigma, too - sometimes from fellow patients and clinicians who cannot accept the fact that someone with bipolar can write with authority on his own illness. This would not happen if I had a PhD to my name. This can be frustrating at times, but I've learned to ignore these individuals and focus on those who give me positive reinforcement. But if you're unsure of yourself and are looking for approval, this can really set you back.

2. Let's assume your illness is acting up. You are starting to behave strangely. Even though you know yourself best, you are often the very last to observe changes in your own behavior. Your friends and loved ones will see it first. Or, you may notice it first - such as feeling sad - but you can no longer hide it. The DSM - the diagnostic bible - uses this phrase a lot: "Observable by others." In this case, your friends may be genuinely concerned about you. Your behavior may pose an awkward situation for them, as they may not be skilled in offering you support. their hearts may be in the right place, but they may wind up unintentionally hurting you. This happens to me, too. I've traditionally been a very shy person, so I seldom had to worry about drawing attention to myself. Now - thanks to a lot of effort on my part - I'm a lot more outgoing. But I still have a lot to learn about dialing in my behavior to match the social situation I may be in. On one hand, I may give people an entirely wrong impression. On the other, they may be entirely right. Sometimes, it's a bit of both. In either case, I have to be adept at reading their signals very early on, before I make a wrong impression. This isn't always easy with a mood disorder, as a hallmark feature of our illness is our tendency to over-react and under-react. So - ironically - I may over-react to my over-reation.

3. You may be overly sensitive, verging on paranoia. This may happen when your self-esteem has taken a beating. This may be a temporary situation. It may also be a clinical condition. See what kind of feedback you can get from someone you trust. If the situation persists, it is advisable to consider getting professional help. There are short-term talking therapies (eg cognitive therapy) aimed at helping you recognize your own erroneous thoughts and correcting them. I benefited enormously from behavioral therapy.

So, what can you do? If you are being stigmatized, you need to adopt the attitude of: Father, forgive them; they know not what they are doing. Only people who have walked in your shoes truly understand. Somehow, you have to find it in your heart to forgive. This doesn't mean you have to keep these people as friends. Probably, the opposite. It may be time to move on. You do this by drawing on your own strengths. By finding things in you that give you confidence in yourself. This won't happen overnight. In fact, you may endure long periods of isolation and loneliness, which runs the risk of worsening your illness. But seeking approval from the wrong group of people runs an even greater risk. In this situation, you're setting yourself up for constant humiliation and abuse. You deserve better than that. But before you consider dumping your friends, you may want to consider asserting yourself first. With the right people, gently but forcefully standing up for yourself works wonders. They will back off. They will make amends. The wrong people won't. Then your choice to move on becomes easy.

If it is assumption two we are talking about, then you need to regard your friends as invaluable allies. They're your early-waring system. They're your support system. They're better for you than meds or anything else in the world. They may lack certain skills and may unintentionally hurt you, but you can work with that. The important point is to listen so you can modify your behavior accordingly. Keep in mind, friends are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and second and third chances. The rest of the world won't. Thus, you can make your necessary course corrections in a sympathetic environment, before you have to face the rest of the world.

If it is assumption three, then keep a close watch. The situation may blow over, but if it goes on for weeks or months and/or you find it worsening, then it is advisable to seek professional help.

Hope this helps -

My therapist, lcsw, suggested that it was my paranoia. that info was delivered in a very kind , non judgemental fashion, and at first i was upset, but after a good deal of reflection, i realized it was true, that i was paranoid!For the first time, I realized that i could accept the parania,as a function of my condition, not some kind of character failing, or serious flaw, and let it go!

The other part of paranoia may be caused by feeling that things are out of control, that you cant control others actions, or thoughts and people do not always have your best interests at heart. When you get into a bipolar state of confusion or memory loss, or similar feelings and prior experiences with people that cause you harm,( an experience everyone has }which ultimately share this feeling of loss of control, you become suspicious of others, naturally, and then you have to deal with something you know is irrational, and there might be obsessing on this subject, causing self-punishment for thinking irrationally,and so the show goes on...