Hi, Kate. Ooh-boy, this is a tough one. I'll start first by relating this little story:

On my blog, "Knowledge is Necessity," I wrote that explaining depression to someone who has never experienced depression is like trying to explain a headache to someone who has never had a headache.

A couple of readers corrected me. A better analogy would have been trying to explain a MIGRAINE headache to people who have never experienced migraines but have experienced headaches.

Their point was that if a depression equates to a headache then no big deal. Everyone has their ups and downs, right? So what's wrong with you? Snap out of it.

So your two friends may not at all be sympathetic, even if what you describe is no run-of-the-mill depression. They may even turn out to be hostile.

The other possibility is you may scare the hell out of them. They may interpret what you're going through as a cry for help from someone contemplating suicide. In which case, they see you as a crisis on legs and not a human being.

Also, people legitimately don't want to be around people who are down. This is no bad reflection on them. Everyone's life is tough enough without getting further burdened. Being around down people makes them feel down, and sensible people don't choose down. So this is where you need to assess what you want out of a friend:

Keep in mind, isolation is our worst enemy. We need friends. We need social contact. A friend can get us out of the house, get us doing things, help create the conditions that get us started on our recovery. So they can give you the best kind of support without them even knowing they're giving you support.

Asking someone to share your most personal concerns and fears is asking a lot of a friendship. Some people are simply not up to that.

On one hand, it seems you really need to have a friend you can share everything with. On the other, you obviously don't want to drive them away. That, in fact, driving them away would be the worst thing for your depression.

Can I suggest an interim solution? Why don't you seek out a DBSA support group. There, you can unload your burdens without fear of driving people away. You may also make some new friends, who can advise you on what to do about your current friends.

This is a very long-winded answer, and I probably haven't answered this to your satisfaction. But I hope I laid out the issues for you and gave you something to think about.