thank you all for your support and replies, realizing what has happened, does help
I have been ever so grateful, I can't remember the expert off hand that has been ever so helpful explaining what has probably happened, but I thank you very much. As much as I am reminding myself that he seems stable now, I have so many regrets for letting myself become too involved and changed our relationship so much, that I'm left with nothing in the end. It is ever so hard to know, that accidentally your help, in the end has destroyed your relationship. I am just the type of person who when I see someone suffering jumps in to help, I need to learn to not go so far in the future.
I am trying so hard to just move on, but some days I'm ever so down, and being as he seems ever so happy as we split up our stuff, I am after all dying inside. I wish life was easier, I certainly wish his illness hadn't prevented him so much from talking about his feelings while we still had a chance. I have to deal with so many trust issues, our promise that we wouldn't end it permanently without seeing a counsellor did not happen. And the gifts flowers, poems...... I am not sure how I will ever know if that means I can trust the love of someone or not in the future. Being told two years, is much harder than if he had said it's only been a few months, and I was deciding. I will have to deal with that myself with professional help, and can only think, that I have to stay out of relationships for a long while. I have lost much of my trust in people, and I do need to regain that again, I wouldn't want to hurt someone else, as I'm still in a bad place. I wish so much there was a magical way to make this easier. But telling myself I have indeed done a wonderful thing, has helped ever so much. thank you ever so much
Not having Bipolar myself, I do feel very thankful for the support and advice and helping me understand this better I have received. I just wish I had done this differently, but hindsight is 20/20 and I will eventually not have these horrible down days, where I feel so betrayed.
Thanks so much, I will continue being around, I can't tell how much help you guys have been.













