How do I not let my son come back to live with me - or do I let him?
My 22 son wants to come back home to live from the West, I am petrified - he is verbally abusive and I want to know how I can get him help
This may come across as mean, but you don't let him come back home. Verbal abuse can easily turn into physical abuse. Why would you want to open yourself up to any abuse? We who have Bipolar have to learn to take responsibility for ourselves. We have to learn to take our meds. We have to learn that it's not okay to treat anyone with disrespect. We have to learn that if we screw up, we have to fix it. Your petrified of your own son...listen to yourself, take a Tough Love action. You can't change him, no matter how much you want to try. He has to understand he has this Disorder, and that he's the only one who can take charge of it. We must take our meds as precribed, it isn't something we can do on our own....Please don't put yourself in harms way!! Once he excepts his illness, only then will he be willing to get help.
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Bailey
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 at 05:53 PM
nonethewiser
Tuesday, September 08, 2009 at 06:46 PM
I realize how hard it really is. My oldest son drinks, (he is 35) and I kept taking him back over and over again. He kept promising to quit and get a job, but it never happened. He was verbally abusive, and I felt like a prizoner in my own home. As mothers, we think it's our responsibily to always be there for our children. But there comes a time when they have to take on that roll for themselves. Now it falls down to what kind of life you want to live.
I suggest you call him (or text) and ask him whats going on. If he can't be honest with you about whats going on in his life, then he's not ready to make any changes. The first rule for any family member with a bipolar person in their family...is to protect themselves. Plain and simple. All the I promises don't mean anything unless we follow through.
You have some really hard decisions to make, BUT don't make them with your HEART. Let me know how things are going...heres a BIG HUG for you!
Thank you so very much for responding. My son doesn't know that I know he has bi-polar and that he went to the hospital - they only kept him for a week but I don't think he kept on his meds. Should I just ignore his text or should I just tell him that I can't have him move back? Thank you again. The Mom in me hates to see him out there without anyone.