I think that self-diagnosis is a good first step, but you need a professional to deal with the chemical imbalance. That is what bipolar disorder is - it is a chemical imbalance in the brain, which you have no control over - it just is.  There is a variety of medication on the market which you can try, but again, you need guidance from a psychiatrist to evaluate and treat you properly. Bipolar disorder, if left untreated can become dangerous - sometimes it can cause suicidal or homocidal ideations and that must be treated with medication and sometimes hospitalization, not to mention that the illness itself without these aspects can be debilitating. First step for you would be to contact your regular physician and ask him/her for a referral or recommendation to a psychiatrist.  Second thing is that you probably need some counseling, which pyschiatrists also provide. Another thing to ask your doctor about.  I have lived with bipolar disorder my whole life practically, but I didn't ask for help until it was almost too late. I just didn't know how to ask let alone what it was I was going through. I thought I was somehow causing my own depression, and I never questioned the high times, just thought they felt good, but when I started losing days and days of sleep, well, after a few bouts with it, I finally asked for help.     Talk to your physician, and share with him/her what you have shared with us here - I guarantee you will be taken seriously, but make sure that you tell him/her that you have researched bipolar disorder, and that you fit the profile, so that they know exactly what you are looking for help for.  They will not think you are "crazy" or turn you away. I work for a physician, and we refer people who suffer from this horrible disorder as well as other mental/emotional disorders on a regular basis to psychiatrists and counselors.   Remember that you are not alone, and that you can be helped and that this hellish nightmare experience with bipolar disorder is most definitely treatable, and you are not crazy, or causing it yourself. Again, it is a chemical imablance in the brain and not a choice on your part to be this way.  I wish you the very best of help.   JeshuaJane