Hi, Laurie. You have helpful advice here. A couple of things to add:

Bipolars tend to go off their meds because the meds aren't all they're cracked up to be and people often quit in frustration before finding something that works.

Another reason - bipolars often feel better when they quit their meds and you would too if you had to take one. Suddenly the head clears up. Clarity of thought. Not a zombie. This isn't being addicted to hypomania - this is what normal people take for granted.

So - when your fiance eventually cycles down - you two need to have a discussion. He needs to hear from you that you understand what he goes through and that you will support him in his efforts. That means if he complains about his meds, you won't say be compliant. Instead, you will say, let's work with your pdoc in finding something that works better.

By the same token, he needs to promise to work with his pdoc and remain compliant. Also, he needs to understand any boundaries you may draw and rules you may lay down.

In short, you need to understand where he's coming from, and he needs to understand you're not going to countenance any of his crap.

Re HIPPA, the law was designed to restrict info flowing OUT from the doctor, not IN to the doctor, so don't put up with any doctor nonsense. Also, your fiance can waive his privacy and it's in your best interest to insist on it.

A competent doc will ALWAYS involve the family member. You are their best unbiased source of info. Also, you need to know what's going on. If the doc won't cooperate, then put your foot down and insist that your fiance switch docs.

I feel strongly about this. I wish I had done this regarding the quack who treated my former wife. You fiance may be the one with bipolar, but YOU are the one who suffers from it. Yes, your ex needs to discuss things in private. But you need to be in the room with him for at least part of his visits.

Hope this helps.