Thursday, August 14, 2008 seeker of knowledge asks

Q: Says he was initially diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and adhd but don't u agree he's bipolar?

My husband was severely depressed, angry, drinking alot,blaming me for his mental state for months before finally taking pills and then calling 911...then leaving me. His business failed over the past few months and he had no job; seemed to stop loving me, hated my teenager, started fussing at the neighbors over nothing, but seemed obsessed with my bipolar daughter who is 25 and was living with us until could get mental help and her own place; he would sit and play video games for hours or spend hours trying to "invent" something, drawing and planning; would cry and let me hold him a minute only to push me away and yell at me that it was all my fault. It sure seems like BP to me; I know about bipolar, because of my daughter (whose paternal grandmother and uncle had the disease also and her uncle killed himself because of it.)

After he left and went to his parents home he came back for two weeks and it was so intolerable I was relieved when he left again, this time I can't take him back. He had hate, actual I-want-to-kill-you hate in his eyes all the time, and was so angry I was afraid of him, so were my girls. They were hurting as they watched him be so mean to me when I was nothing but loving and kind to him all the time. He cried alot, and sat and stared alot, or slept. I'd try to talk to him but he just said I dont know to everything.

Even if he got better someday I would be afraid something would trigger him again in the future to get this way. He said he wanted a divorce, so I am letting him go. It's weird because he used to love me so much, and we were such a perfect couple, everyone is shocked he would leave me.

He SAID at his first appointment with a psychiatrist he was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and adhd. But I think either he was diagnosed with MANIC depression or they just don't know yet he is BP, cos I know him and the dr. won't know what he is REALLY like; he will not tell them all the things he has been doing, the way he has been acting so bizarre.

I guess my question is, will the dr figure it out on her own if he is BP or could he hide things from her that would lead them to know that? I dont' talk to him now, but I wish I knew if my hunch is right. What do you think?

Tired of crying.

Answers (1)

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kristin

9/12/08 1:59pm

Seeker of knowledge. I don't have an answer for you, but you are not alone. You described my situation with my husband almost exactly. Only slight difference his that he became obssessed with his old high school girlfriend so ended up divorcing her husband of 13 years to be with my husband. (she must be crazy too). My husband is obessed with video games. Told everyone that it's just because I made his life a living hell. He played video games before I met him and he's still playing them on lunch breaks and for 6-8 hours everynight at his girlfriend's house. He said he wanted a divorce, but did nothing to help get one except have an affair. I finally filed on grounds of adultery. He counter-filed stating that I caused his depression, anxiety and ADHD. I'm glad he admitted to it. Makes it easier for me to get custody.

He was diagnosed with ADHD late last fall. I never thought that diagnosis was right, but what did I know. Now I find out that it's a common misdiagnosis for bipolar and that ritalin can make a bipolar person worse. I believe that's exactly what happened. He went downhill fast after getting on ritalin.

We just had a baby last summer. Prior to the baby he doted on me. Made sure I was taken care of. After the baby I couldn't give him the attention he was used to and our sleep patterns were disrupted by the baby. I believe the baby was the stressful situation that sent him into an episode. I just wish he would come out of it. I miss the man he was. I'm afraid that man is gone forever. He also put in the counter-complaint against me that being the breadwinner, taking care of the house and taking care of the baby was "too much of a burden." That's the job description for a husband and father who has a wife/mother who works full time also. I do the same thing, but I don't see my family as a "burden". e-mail me if you want to talk further.

Q: Says he was initially diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and adhd but don't u agree he's bipolar?

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