Yup!  you can grab a really big thick fuzzy blanket and wrap it around you.  Imagine you are getting a really big and unconditional hug from all the positive people in the world.  Its going to be ok and your baby will appreciate all the loving thoughts you will share.  Congratulations on your pregnancy :) cuz its a beautiful thing.

Hi Nads,

You sound so much like me. I'm 32 and BP1. I have 2 children (15 years and 4 years). I also consider myself as not good enough and inferior. These feelings are part of me since ever and its consequences have made my life very complicated. Still feel that way but today I have a good pdoc and a good medication to help me manage those same feelings.

When I first discovered I was pregnant, I was already with 3 months. I was under a lot of medication and was afraid that that same medication whould harm my child. I stopped taking it.

Of course after stopping the meds I went to my pdoc and told her that I left meds because I was pregnant.

She then setup a mood diary for me to fill out during the days, so she could see, everytime I had an appointment with her, how I was going and if there were special needs (like meds). Of course I could not cheat on the diary because otherwise I wouldn't receive the assistance I really needed. I made some therapy and group therapy, in paralel, to suppport the lack of meds.  My pdoc also explained me that a pregnant woman produces a hormone that works as a antidepressant and that would help (research on this). My pdoc also said that the best advice is to always focus on the bright side of having a baby (this one helped me so much).  

Remember all the times that you spent alone because there was nobody for you. Now there will be always someone for you. Your baby. He won't leave you alone. He needs you so very much.

My sons managed to avoid some tragic moments only by loving me. 

My marriage is not easy, specially if it comes to the theme Bipolar. My husband believes that Bipolar disorder doesn't exists. I can't wait for his support. I sometimes find peace in my sons and this helps me to balance my marriage by thinking about how important a family is. 

This is my way of handling things because other options were not helping. I was lost and this was my way of finding some inside piece.

I hope you workout your way of handling the situation you have in hands.

Wish you so much luck.

Congrat for your baby!

kaninchen

Defnitely sounds like BP.  Mine was diagnosed after my second child.  Although the docs figure I had it much longer but at least it explains a lot.  It's not easy but at least some things make a little more sense.  Good luck.

I'm Bipolar to and have been diagnosed now for 16 years.  Medication does wonders for this disorder.  Since you are pregnant, obviously you cant take medications but I strongly suggest therapy.  I have also done this and I found it to be very helpful.