I have been going through huge manic swings recently. ((If I ever spoke the words running through my mind, I would be locked up and the key throw away.)) I am so terrified of M.D.s, hospitals, even large groups of people, movies, ect. ((This is ALMOST A POST TRAMUATIC STRESS - post war time- when I am cornered I react extremely violently.)) I have no insurance and huge medical bills from life. What do I do when I know I need help, but have no way to get it? Like I have said many times I LOVE and TRUST animals 1000 times more than any human. Atleast you know where you stand with animals. Everyone has teeth and claws which can be used for affection or defense. These are Predators not house pets. (Good morning or I will eat you), not like a HUMAN that would shake your hand and stab your heart. I am being torn up on the inside and doing anything I can just to hold it together right now. What should I do, I have no money, no insurance, no one to really talk too, I cry and sob daily.... This just isn't like me AT ALL.
Q: Torn in a million pieces and not sure of the next step
Hmm...I 100% understand were you are coming from. Especially trusting animals more than humans. I mean I trust my Pomeranian more than I do any guy on this planet! LOL However, most people, especially in todays society, will diagnose you as depressed or bipolar. I totally disagree. I went through a really low point in my life and was diagnosed with depression and bipolar at the same time! Yikes! I was even prescribed meds!
I was in the worst state of life ever to the point were I didnt care about school, family, or even my favorite hobby, shopping! I was so miserable, mad, angry, and would have the worst fits of rage you could think of. I even cried myself to sleep every night and hated life. This lasted for about 8 months.
However, one day I talked to a friend and she told me about writing everything I was feeling and thinking down on paper. I ended up writing 10 pages in 2 hours!!! on my personal things and saw what was triggering this "mess" I was in. I just flat out refuse to let society tell me im "bipolar" and "depressed" when in all honesty, YOU are the one who controls what you feel. Now, I live life on the edge and take chances. My confidence AND self-esteem has skyrocketed, because of ME. Not the doctors and not the meds! If somebody hurts me emotionally or breaks my trust, I move on and say "big deal" Life is too short and soooooooo much better knowing I don't have to rely on meds to not only be happy, but be at PEACE. Peace and happiness are two different thinks :) And not to preach at all, but I prayed and my relationship with Jesus is the reason why I am the way I am. I'm not perfect and still get sad, but who doesn't? The only difference is the sadness only last 8 minutes compared to 8 months. All I'm working on rite now is trust in guys LOL One day at a time hun 
Hmm...I 100% understand were you are coming from. Especially trusting animals more than humans. I mean I trust my Pomeranian more than I do any guy on this planet! LOL However, most people, especially in todays society, will diagnose you as depressed or bipolar. I totally disagree. I went through a really low point in my life and was diagnosed with depression and bipolar at the same time! Yikes! I was even prescribed meds!
I was in the worst state of life ever to the point were I didnt care about school, family, or even my favorite hobby, shopping! I was so miserable, mad, angry, and would have the worst fits of rage you could think of. I even cried myself to sleep every night and hated life. This lasted for about 8 months.
However, one day I talked to a friend and she told me about writing everything I was feeling and thinking down on paper. I ended up writing 10 pages in 2 hours!!! on my personal things and saw what was triggering this "mess" I was in. I just flat out refuse to let society tell me im "bipolar" and "depressed" when in all honesty, YOU are the one who controls what you feel. Now, I live life on the edge and take chances. My confidence AND self-esteem has skyrocketed, because of ME. Not the doctors and not the meds! If somebody hurts me emotionally or breaks my trust, I move on and say "big deal" Life is too short and soooooooo much better knowing I don't have to rely on meds to not only be happy, but be at PEACE. Peace and happiness are two different thinks :) And not to preach at all, but I prayed and my relationship with Jesus is the reason why I am the way I am. I'm not perfect and still get sad, but who doesn't? The only difference is the sadness only last 8 minutes compared to 8 months. All I'm working on rite now is trust in guys LOL One day at a time hun
Hmm...I 100% understand were you are coming from. Especially trusting animals more than humans. I mean I trust my Pomeranian more than I do any guy on this planet! LOL However, most people, especially in todays society, will diagnose you as depressed or bipolar. I totally disagree. I went through a really low point in my life and was diagnosed with depression and bipolar at the same time! Yikes! I was even prescribed meds!
I was in the worst state of life ever to the point were I didnt care about school, family, or even my favorite hobby, shopping! I was so miserable, mad, angry, and would have the worst fits of rage you could think of. I even cried myself to sleep every night and hated life. This lasted for about 8 months.
However, one day I talked to a friend and she told me about writing everything I was feeling and thinking down on paper. I ended up writing 10 pages in 2 hours!!! on my personal things and saw what was triggering this "mess" I was in. I just flat out refuse to let society tell me im "bipolar" and "depressed" when in all honesty, YOU are the one who controls what you feel. Now, I live life on the edge and take chances. My confidence AND self-esteem has skyrocketed, because of ME. Not the doctors and not the meds! If somebody hurts me emotionally or breaks my trust, I move on and say "big deal" Life is too short and soooooooo much better knowing I don't have to rely on meds to not only be happy, but be at PEACE. Peace and happiness are two different thinks :) And not to preach at all, but I prayed and my relationship with Jesus is the reason why I am the way I am. I'm not perfect and still get sad, but who doesn't? The only difference is the sadness only last 8 minutes compared to 8 months. All I'm working on rite now is trust in guys LOL One day at a time hun
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